when I thought I was out, they pull me back in."
far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster...To
me being a gangster was better than being president of
the United States."
"What do you mean, I'm funny?...You mean the way I talk? What?...Funny
how? I mean, what's funny about it?...But I'm funny how? I mean, funny
like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to f--kin'
amuse you? What do you mean, funny? Funny how? How'm I funny??...How
the f--k am I funny? What the f--k is so funny about me? Tell me? Tell
me what's funny!..."
"Right after I got here, I ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce and I got egg noodles and ketchup. I'm an average nobody. I get to live the rest
of my life like a schnook."
"Anything else I can get while I'm in town? Any other crucial
requirements that need satisfying? Would you like a tiny
tape recorder, or how about a handmade set of writing slippers?"
I was growing up in Bakersfield, my favorite thing in all the world
was to go to the movies on Saturday afternoons for the Chapter Plays."
I - I appreciate this whole seduction scene you've got goin', but
let me give ya a tip: I'm a sure thing. OK? So, I'm on an hourly
rate. Could we just move it along?"
you made me a really nice offer. And a few months ago, no problem.
But now everything is different. And you changed that, and you can't
change back. I want more."
you think I like draggin' around after you all day? I f--kin' hate
it. And I hate the way you drive, and I hate your stinkin' whiskey
you ever reach a point in your life when you say to yourself: 'This
is the best I'm ever gonna look, the best I'm ever gonna feel, the
best I'm ever gonna do,' and it ain't that great?"
this time in your life, kids, because this is the time in your life
when you still have your choices, and it goes by so fast. When
you're a teenager, you think you can do anything, and you do. Your
twenties are a blur. Thirties, you raise your family, you make
a little money and you think to yourself, 'What happened
to my twenties?' Forties, you grow a little pot belly. You
grow another chin. The music starts to get too loud and one of your
old girlfriends from high school becomes a grandmother. Fifties,
you have a minor surgery. You'll call it a procedure, but it's a surgery.
Sixties, you'll have a major surgery, the music is still loud but
it doesn't matter because you can't hear it anyway. The seventies,
you and the wife retire to Fort Lauderdale, you start eating dinner
at two o'clock in the afternoon, you have lunch around ten, breakfast
the night before. You spend most of your time wandering around
malls looking for the ultimate soft yogurt and muttering: 'How come
the kids don't call? How come the kids don't call?' The eighties,
you'll have a major stroke, you end up babbling to some Jamaican
nurse who your wife can't stand, but who you call Mama. Any questions?"
was born jaundiced. Once I sat on a toilet seat at a truck stop and
caught hemorrhoids. And I've learned to live with this chicken bone
that's been lodged in my throat for the past three years. So I knew
dad would be devastated when he learned of my latest affliction.
Dad, I don't wanna upset you but my left breast is developing
at a significantly faster rate than my right. It can only mean one
thing: Cancer. I'm dying."
"I couldn't believe it was her. It was like a dream. But there
she was just like I remembered her. That delicately beautiful face.
And a body that could melt a cheese sandwich from across the room.
And breasts that seemed to say: 'Hey! Look at these!' She was the
kind of woman that made you want to drop to your knees and thank God
you were a man! Yeah! She reminded me of my mother, all right. No
doubt about it."
"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava
beans and a nice Chianti."
what did you see, Clarice? What did you see?"
"Tell me, Senator: did you nurse Catherine yourself?...Did you breast-feed her?...Toughened your nipples, didn't it?...Amputate a man's leg and he can still feel it tickling. Tell me, mum, when your little girl is on the slab, where will it tickle you?...Oh, and Senator, just one more thing. Love your suit!"
Clarice, have the lambs stopped screaming?"
"Captain's Log, Star Date 9529.1 This is the final cruise of the Starship Enterprise under my command. This ship, and her history, will shortly become the care of another crew. To them, and their posterity will we commit our future. They will continue the voyages we have begun, and journey to all the undiscovered countries, boldly going where no man....where no one has gone before."
"No, no, no, no, no, no. You gotta listen to the way people talk.
You don't say 'Affirmative,' or some s--t like that. You say, 'No problemo.'
And if someone comes up to you with an attitude, you say 'Eat me.' And
if you want to shine them on, it's 'Hasta la vista, baby.'"
you shoot up a guy's head with his pants down, believe me, Texas
is not the place you want to get caught. Now, trust me. Now, I told
ya, I'm not gonna talk about this anymore."
"You can't play in the man's game? You can't close them? Then go home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life: Get them to sign on the line
which is dotted. You hear me, you f--kin' faggots!?"
What can ya say? Who made 'em? God must have been a f--kin' genius.
The hair - they say the hair is everything, you know. Have you
ever buried your nose in a mountain of curls - just wanted to go
to sleep forever? Or lips...and when they touched yours were like
that first swallow of wine after you just crossed the desert. Tits...Hoo-ah!
Big ones, little ones, nipples starin' right out at ya... like
secret searchlights. Mmm. Legs... I don't care if they're Greek
columns or second-hand Steinways. What's between 'em...Passport
to heaven! I need a drink. Yes, Mr. Sims, there's only two syllables
in this whole wide world worth hearin': Pussy. Hah! Are you listenin'
to me, son? I'm givin' ya pearls here."
a hell of a thing, killin' a man. You take away all he's got and
all he's ever gonna have."
"That's right. I've killed women and children. I've killed just
about everything that walks or crawled at one time or another. And
I'm here to kill you, Little Bill, for what you did to Ned."
hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you, pal. You ain't
leadin' but two things, right now: Jack and s--t. And Jack left
you want to kill me. Now you want to kiss me. Blow!"
to the king, baby."
Ready. Feel the rhythm! Feel the rhyme! Get on up, it's bobsled
time! COOL RUNNINGS!"
it's the same bulls--t they tried to pull in my day. You know, if
it ain't that piece of paper, there's some other choice they're gonna
try and make for ya. You gotta do what Randall Pink Floyd wants to
do, man. And
let me tell you this. The older you do get, the more rules they're
gonna try to get you to follow. You just gotta keep livin' man,
once said, 'If
you want something very badly, set it free. If it comes back to
you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, it was never yours
to begin with.'"
list is an absolute good. The list is life. All around its margins
lies the gulf."
Hebrew from the Talmud. It says, 'Whoever saves one life, saves the
listen here, you mullet. Why don't you just light your tampon, and blow
your box apart? Because it's the only bang you're ever gonna get, sweetheart!"
did you like better? Jedi or The Empire Strikes
a lovely accent you have. New Jersey?"
I like you, Mary. I like you a lot. I want to ask ya a question
straight out, flat out, and I want ya to give me an honest answer. What
do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me
- ending up together?"
had the most incredibly romantic time. I thought we were
gonna be together forever. And then, ha, oh boy, ha. About
a week later, right out of the blue, she sends me a John Deere letter."
like to dress in women's clothing."
I have no home. Hunted... despised... living like an animal. The jungle
is my home! But I shall show the world that I can be its master. I shall
perfect my own race of people... a race of atomic supermen that will
conquer the world!"
"You were great as Karloff's sidekick."
day, for no particular reason, I decided to go for a little run. So
I ran to the end of the road. And when I got there, I thought maybe
I'd run to the end of town. And when I got there, I thought maybe
I'd just run across Greenbow County. And I figured, since I run this
far, maybe I'd just run across the great state of Alabama. And that's
what I did. I ran clear across Alabama. For no particular reason,
I just kept on goin'. I ran clear to the ocean. And when I got
there, I figured since I'd gone this far, I might as well turn
around, just keep on goin'. When I got to another ocean, I figured
since I'd gone this far, I might as well just turn back, keep right
I was, standing there in the church, and for the first time in my whole
life I realized I totally and utterly loved one person. And it wasn't
the person standing next to me in the veil. It's the person standing
opposite me now, in the rain."
morning, I was not yet a vampire, and I saw my last sunrise. I remember
it completely, and yet I can't recall any sunrise before it. I watched
the whole magnificence of the dawn for the last time as if it were
the first. And then I said farewell to sunlight, and set out to become
what I became."
pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp. Guns
aren't lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; You might as well live."
This is a tasty burger!"
25:17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the
inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is
he, who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak
through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper
and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee
with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison
and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when
I lay my vengeance upon thee."
think we should be leaving now."
you know what they call a - a - a Quarter Pounder with cheese in
you got a corpse in a car minus a head in the garage. Take me to
busy livin', or get busy dyin'."
is not Sweet-N-Low. This is Equal. Blue packet. Sweet-N-Low is pink.
See? Equal: blue. Sweet-N-Low: pink. It's not the same thing, is
it?...What Equal contains is not my concern here. I don't care if
it has f--kin' fairy dust in it. What I am concerned
with is detail. I asked you to go get me a packet of Sweet-N-Low.
You bring me back Equal. That isn't what I asked for. That isn't
what I wanted. That isn't what I needed and that s--t isn't gonna
work around here...You thought. Do me a f--kin' favor. Shut up, listen,
and learn. Look, I know that this is your first day and you don't
really know how things work around here, so I will tell you.
You - have - no - brain. No judgment calls are necessary. What you
think means nothing.
What you feel means nothing.
You are here for me. You are here to protect my interests
and to serve my needs. So, while it may look like a little thing
to you, when I ask for a packet of Sweet-N-Low, that's what I want.
And it is your responsibility now to see that I get what I want.
Am I clear?"
we've got a problem here."
Madison, what you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic
things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent
response were you even close to anything that could be considered
a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having
listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on
okay, I don't want to be a traitor to my generation and all, but I don't
get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell
out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair - ew
- and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we're expected to swoon?
I don't think so."
okay, like right now, for example, the Haitians need to come to America.
But some people are all 'What about the strain on our resources?' But
it's like when I had this garden party for my father's birthday, right?
I said R.S.V.P. because it was a sit-down dinner. But people came that,
like, did not R.S.V.P. So I was, like, totally buggin'. I had to haul
ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, squish in extra place settings.
But by the end of the day it was, like, the more the merrier! And so
if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things,
we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion may I
please remind you that it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty."
in the box?!"
"You are a TOY! You aren't the real Buzz Lightyear. You're - you're an action figure. You are a child's plaything."
that was Mrs. Lundegaard on the floor in there. And I
guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper? And those three
people in Brainerd. And for what? For a little bit of money. There's
more to life than a little money, ya know. Don'tcha know that? And
here ya are, and it's a beautiful day. Well. I just don't understand
"Two more months."
right, pussy, pussy, pussy! Come on in pussy lovers! Here at the
Titty Twister we're slashin' pussy in half! Give us an offer on our
vast selection of pussy. This is a pussy blow out! All right, we
got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, we got
hot pussy, cold pussy, we got wet pussy, we got [sniffs] smelly
pussy, we got hairy pussy, bloody pussy, we got snappin' pussy, we
got silk pussy, velvet pussy, Naugahyde pussy, we even got horse
pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy! Come on, you want pussy, come on
in, pussy lovers! If we don't got it, you don't want it! Come on
in, pussy lovers!..."
believe in love and lust and sex and romance. I don't want everything
to add up to some perfect equation. I want mess and chaos. I want someone
to go crazy out of his mind for me. I want to feel passion and heat
and sweat and madness. I want valentines and cupids and all the rest
of that crap. I WANT IT ALL."
the point? They're all the same. Some stupid killer stalking some
big-breasted girl who can't act who's always running up the stairs
when she should be going out the front door. It's insulting."
certainly a phenomenon in all walks of life."
"Let me ask you a question, and be honest. Do I make you horny? Randy?!"
I make you horny, baby? Yeah, do I?"
behave! Yeah! Yeah, baby!"
not your fault."
"And you find that sort of rootless existence appealing, do you?"
never found anything on Jack. There's no record of him at all."
"You got the wrong guy. I'm the Dude, man."
"It's so beautiful here. So bright."
had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets
of high-powered blotter acid, a salt-shaker half-full of cocaine, and
a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers.
Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw
ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip,
but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency
is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me
was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible
and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd
get into that rotten stuff pretty soon."
he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind
never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too
rare to die."
- "Flied lice?"
be the Lord my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers
to fight. My goodness, and my fortress; my high tower, and my deliverer;
my shield, and he in whom I trust..."
name is Lester Burnham. This is my neighborhood. This is my street.
This is my life. I'm 42 years old. In less than a year, I'll be dead.
Of course, I don't know that yet. And in a way, I'm dead already.
Look at me: jerking off in the shower. This will be the high
point of my day. It's all downhill from here. That's my wife Carolyn.
See the way the handle on those pruning shears matches her gardening
clogs? That's not an accident."
my wife and daughter think I'm this gigantic loser and they're right.
I have lost something. I'm not exactly sure what it is but I know
I didn't always feel this... sedated. But you know what? It's never
too late to get it back."
was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's
this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. Right? And this
bag was just dancing with me. Like a little kid beggin' me to play with
it. For fifteen minutes. That's the day I realized that there was this
entire life behind things, and this incredibly benevolent force that
wanted me to know that there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's
a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... I need to remember...
Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't
take it, and my heart is just going to cave in."
- "Oh, and this one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy."
just want to apologize to Mike's mom and Josh's mom, and my mom.
And I'm sorry to everyone. I was very naive. I
am so, so sorry... for everything that has happened. Because in spite
of what Mike says now, it is my fault. Because it was my project
and I insisted. I insisted on everything. I insisted that we weren't
lost. I insisted that we keep going. I insisted that we walk south.
Everything had to be my way. And this is where we've ended up. And
it's all because of me that we're here now. Hungry and cold, and
hunted. I love you mom, dad. I am so sorry. What is that? I'm scared
to close my eyes, I'm scared to open them! We're gonna die out here!"
important thing is: we're awake now, and hopefully for a long time
Welcome to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not
talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you do not
talk about Fight Club. The third rule of Fight Club: someone yells
stop, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over. The fourth rule: only
two guys to a fight. The fifth rule: one fight at a time, fellas.
The sixth rule: no shirts, no shoes. The seventh rule: fights will
go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule: if
this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight."
been on a diet every day since I was nineteen, which basically means
I've been hungry for a decade. I've had a series of not-nice boyfriends,
one of whom hit me. Ah, and every time I get my heart broken, the newspapers
splash it about as though it's entertainment. And it's taken two rather
painful operations to get me looking like this.... Really. And, one
day not long from now, my looks will go, they will discover I can't act
and I will become some sad middle-aged woman who looks a bit like someone
who was famous for a while."
is it about men and nudity, hmm? Particularly breasts? How can you be
so interested in them?"
I-I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told,
I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm,
I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And and I told Don too, because
they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to
be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were
merry. But then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler,
but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much,
and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler.....And,
oh, no, it's not okay because if they make me, if they, if they take
my, my stapler then I'll, I'll have to, I'll set the building on
want to tell you my secret now."
"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you."