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Vampire's Kiss (1988)
In director Robert Bierman's modern comedic, over-the-top
vampire film:
- the psychiatric counseling scene of hotshot Manhattan
yuppie literary agent Peter Loew (Nicolas Cage) speaking to his
therapist Dr. Glaser (Elizabeth Ashley) about being aroused more
by a bat than his date: "I brought this girl up to my place
the other night. Really hot, you know. And we're on the bed. And
suddenly, this bat comes swooping down out of nowhere...I'm fighting
this bat off all alone and I'll be damned if I didn't get really
turned on"
- his fanatical and freaked-out outburst to Dr. Glaser
about the stupidity of misfiling by his new office secretary Alva
Restrepo (Maria Conchita Alonso): "How could somebody MISFILE
something? What could be easier? It's all alphabetical. You just
PUT it IN the right file according to ALPHABETICAL ORDER! You know
- A, B, C, D, E, F, G...H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P...Q, R, S, T, U,
V...W, X, Y, Z! Huh? That's ALL you have to DO!...I never misfiled
ANYTHING! Not ONCE, not ONE TIME!...I wanna know really, WHO DID!"
- the scene of a one-night stand, when Peter was bitten
in the neck during love-making by vampirish Rachel (Jennifer Beals)
- turning him into an over-the-top creature of the night and assuring
him: "It's alright, it's alright. You chose me"
- his abusive behavior towards Alva when he shouted
and berated her for not doing her job productively: "Am I getting
through to you, Alva?" - and then later, he again shouted at
her when she suggested getting someone else to do her job and make
it easier: "Alva, there is no one else in this entire office
that I could possibly ask to share such a horrible job. You're the
lowest on the totem pole here, Alva. The lowest. Do you realize that?
Every other secretary who's been here has been here longer than you,
Alva. Every one. And even if there was someone here who was here
just one day longer than you, I still wouldn't ask that person to
partake in such a miserable job as long as you were around. That's
right, Alva. It's a horrible, horrible job. Sifting through old contract
after old contract. I couldn't think of a more horrible job if I
wanted to. And you have to do it. You have to. Or I'll fire you.
Do you understand? Do you?"
- the scene of Rachel's sexual domination of Peter when
she forced him to profess his love for her: "I hate interrupted
love affairs, don't you? How much nicer when the outside world doesn't
interfere with the pleasure. You were so right to put yourself into
my hands, Peter. The only one who can put you out of your misery.
Tell me how much you love me, my angel. Whisper it to me. Just once.
Please, just once. Oh, just once. I know you do. I can read your
mind, my love. I can see it in your actions. You can't get through
the day without thinking about me, can you? Tell me you love me.
Tell me" - and then he uncovered his neck wound and permitted
her to suck his blood
- the scene of the crazed Peter grabbing and eating
a live, squirming cockroach for breakfast
- his continual harrassment of Alva, now in the backseat
of a taxi-cab - when he told her: "It's horrible when there
are tensions between employer and employee. Sometimes the pressures,
you know, they just build up. Wait till you get into a position of
authority....You will, Alva. You're a very bright girl. That's how
I know that today, by God, is the day you're gonna find that damned
Heatherton contract....The work's not just gonna go away, Alva. It
never just 'goes away'. THE GODDAMN CONTRACT IS SOMEWHERE IN THOSE
GODDAMN F--KING FILES!"
- the scene of Peter - wearing fake teeth - phoning
his therapist Dr. Glaser to make an appointment to see her - and
then his catching and consumption of a live pigeon
- the blind date scene, arranged by Dr. Glaser, between
another patient named Sharon (Jessica Lundy) and Peter: "She
complains of exactly the same thing you do and personality-wise,
I think you two are made for each other. I should have matched you
two up long ago" - Sharon described her interests to Peter:
"I like poetry, horseback-riding, Vivaldi and long weekends in
the country"
- but then, Peter confessed to a few of his major issues,
in his delusionary mind: "I did rape someone a couple of nights
ago. A girl at the office. I just lost control....Well, the fact
is I did murder someone last night. I turned into a vampire. It's
a long story"; Dr. Glaser assured him: "Would you stop
worrying and just get on with your big romance....Get out of here,
the both of you. Have a wonderful life together and I will take care
of the cops"
- the conclusion in Peter's destroyed apartment (where
he had converted his overturned sofa into a coffin-bed), when the
hallucinatory Peter became extremely annoyed and mad at an imaginary
Sharon for continually asking about his vampire transformation: "You
don't let up, do you, c--t? You just keep harping and harping over
the same goddam thing. 'Why did you become a vampire?' 'Why couldn't
you be normal?' 'Peter, does this mean we can never have children?'
...'cause there's no way in hell that I would ever, ever marry a
loud-mouth pig like you. In the ten minutes I'm with you and the
s--t just starts right up. What? What? You hate my guts? You wanna
go home? You wanna leave? Good. Fine. Get the hell out of here, you
f--king pig! Leave me the f--k alone! I really can't handle these
relationships. Maybe I should see a shrink" - he attempted to
put a wooden stake through his own heart, and was assisted by Alva's
enraged brother, who pushed the stake in further and brought on Peter's
death
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