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Wedding Crashers (2005)
In director David Dobkin's R-rated romantic comedy:
- a bawdy R-rated film about two intrepid Washington
DC bachelors and lifelong friends John Beckwith (Owen Wilson) and
Jeremy Grey (Vince Vaughn) who invited themselves to nuptial receptions
to pick up on women and bridesmaids
- Jeremy's fears of the 'perils of dating', after Janice
(Stephanie Nevin) offered to set him up on a date: "I've got
the perfect girl for you" - he responded: "Janice, I apologize
to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced, awkward
intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like
the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering, 'Do I have food
on my face? Am I eating? Am I talking too much? Are they talking
enough? Am I interested? I'm not really interested. Should I play
like I'm interested? But I'm not that interested, but I think she
might be interested. But do I want to be interested? But now she's
not interested.' So now, all of sudden I'm, I'm starting to get interested.
And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door?
'Cause then it's awkward, it's like 'Well, good night.' Do you do
like the ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this,
and the ass sticks out because you're trying not to get too close.
Or do you go right in and just kiss 'em on the lips or don't kiss
'em at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation and
all the while, you're just really wondering, 'Are we gonna get hopped
enough to make some bad decisions?' Perhaps play a little game called
'Just the Tip.' Just for a second, just to see how it feels, or 'Ouch
Ouch, You're on My Hair.'... And thank you. Hey, Janice. Great talk"
- the sped-up, raucous montage sequence of the two
scammers seeking free love at various wedding receptions, and flopping
around in bed with partly-clothed and naked women from the weddings
- including Brunette (Rachel Sterling), Ivana (Ivana Bozilovic),
Hindu woman (Naureen Zaim) and Vivian (Diora Baird), to the tune
of the Isley Brothers' "Shout"
- the objectives of their 'wedding crashing' - including
two sisters: Claire Cleary (Rachel McAdams) (with a hotheaded, unfaithful
boyfriend named Sack Lodge (Bradley Cooper)), and Claire's "stage-five
virgin clinger" sister Gloria (Isla Fisher)
- Jeremy's insistence to John, at the Cleary's wedding
reception, that there were specific rules for 'crashing weddings'
- there's no overtime and they had to leave right away: "John,
this is completely against the rules. You have a wedding and a reception
to seal the deal. Period. There's no overtime" - they both argued: "You
lock it up!"
- the Cleary dinner table scene when Jeremy was touched
in his crotch area (to bring him to orgasm) under the table by nymphomaniacal
Gloria, as a serious discussion about venture capitalism was being
conducted: "Well, there's the company that we have where we're
taking the, the fur or the wool from sheep and we turn it into thread
for homeless people to sew. And then they make it into cloth, which
they in turn sew then, um, make some shirts and pants for other homeless
people to sell. It's a pretty good deal"; Jeremy struggled to
add that he was relieved: "People, people helping people...
Terrific, it was terrific!"
- the protective warning of presidential wannabe, William
Cleary (Christopher Walken), the US Secretary of the Treasury, to
Jeremy about his daughter: "You know, she's not just another
notch on the old belt...I'm a very powerful man"
- the racy scene of Jeremy being seduced by sexually-insatiable,
and "social alcoholic" Kathleen
"Kittycat" Cleary (Jane Seymour) - the socialite wife of
William Clearly who requested that he personally rate her recent breast
implants
- the 'motorboating' scene, when John admitted:
"Claire's mom just made me grab her hooters"; Jeremy tried
to calm him: "Well, snap out of it! What? A hot, older woman made
you feel her cans? Stop crying like a little girl...Why don't you try
getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family
and have some real problems? Jackass. What were they like, anyway?
They look pretty good. Are they real? Are they built for speed or for
comfort? What did you do with 'em? Motorboat? You play the motorboat?
Ppppt! You motorboatin' son of a bitch. You old sailor, you!"
- words of wisdom by Chazz Reinhold (Will Ferrell),
Jeremy's former wedding crashing mentor (but who was still living
with his mother), about how to pick up women - at funerals, where
he met his latest female conquest: "I got her yesterday....I
rode my bike over to a cemetery nearby. Her boyfriend just died...The
dude died in a hang-gliding accident. What an idiot! Ha, ha, ha.
'Oh, I'm hang gliding! Honey, take a good picture... I'm dead!' Ha,
ha. What a freak!...Yeah, I'll throw in a wedding every now and then,
but funerals are insane! The chicks are so horny, it's not even fair.
It's like fishing with dynamite....Yeah, crazy horny...Grief is nature's
most powerful aphrodisiac. Look it up"
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