Greatest Film Scenes
and Moments

Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)


Written by Tim Dirks

Title Screen
Movie Title/Year and Scene Descriptions

Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)

  • this was the third chapter of the spy-comedy film series franchise that was a mild spoof of many James Bond films; actor Mike Myers portrayed four roles - the title character Austin Powers, super-villain Dr. Evil, a repulsive gold-obsessed Dutchman known as Goldmember, and obese and vulgar Fat Bastard
  • the film opened with a prologue (and ended with a bookending epilogue) - a self-parody of its own film series called Austinpussy - Austin Powers was featured in a bio-pic parody of Octopussy (1983) (directed by Steven Spielberg, and with Tom Cruise as Austin Powers)

Prologue: Tom Cruise as Austin Powers

Austin Powers (Mike Myers)
  • after the prologue, Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) was in his lair behind the Hollywood Sign in the year 2002; with the goal of world domination, Dr. Evil's plan was to travel back in time to 1975 and partner with the Dutch, gold-obsessed Johann van der Smut ((inspired by the villain Auric Goldfinger in Goldfinger (1964)); the plan was to use Goldmember's top-secret, cold fusion power unit to cause a powerful 'Preparation-H' tractor beam to pull a solid gold meteor known as Midas 22 into a collision course with Earth; the meteor was designed to melt the polar ice caps and cause massive flooding
  • to prevent Dr. Evil's plan, commandos from the British Ministry of Defence (and British secret service agent Austin Powers) abducted Dr. Evil from his lair, imprisoned him in a Maximum Security Facility in Geneva, Switzerland, and sentenced the guilty Dr. Evil to 400 years
  • at the same time, Austin Powers' famous spy father Nigel Powers (Michael Caine) was abducted (by yacht crew members with gold-painted genitalia); to apprehend the culprit, Austin received information from Dr. Evil about how Goldmember was behind the kidnapping, in exchange for being given a prison transfer
  • Austin traveled back to 1975 and infiltrated Goldmember's roller "Studio 69" Disco (spoofing Studio 54) in NYC but Goldmember escaped by using Dr. Evil's time travel machine to take Nigel back to the year 2002
  • while there, Austin reunited with his former lover, undercover FBI agent Foxxy Cleopatra (Beyonce Knowles) (a spoof of blaxploitation female characters, such as Foxy Brown and Cleopatra Jones); Goldmember was pursued immediately through the time-travel portal by Austin and Foxxy in his pink and purple "pimpmobile" time-travel device back to 2002
  • Dr. Evil was now incarcerated in a Georgia State Prison, where he and his min-cloned self Mini-Me (Verne Troyer) instigated a riot in their prison and escaped to a new lair in Tokyo; a British Intelligence mole known as Number Three/The Mole (Fred Savage) (with an actual large, protruding hairy mole on his upper lip) informed Austin of Dr. Evil's new whereabouts - a submarine shaped as himself cruising in Tokyo Bay
  • Dr. Evil's son Scott (Seth Green) finally presented his father with a present - two sharks in a shark tank with laser beams affixed to their heads: ("frickin' sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their frickin' heads"); overly emotional and impressed by his son ("You're the best evil son an evil Dad could ever ask for"), Dr. Evil displaced Mini-Me from his right-hand position ("Move down the bench")
  • Austin with Foxxy traveled to Tokyo in his psychedelic-painted jumbo jet and met with Sumo wrestler Fat Bastard, one of Dr. Evil's henchmen; Fat Bastard informed them that Japanese businessman Mr. Roboto (of Roboto Industries) was designing "some contraption" (the tractor beam) for Dr. Evil; in the factory, Foxxy and Austin discovered that Goldmember was holding Nigel hostage
  • their evil plan of world domination was confirmed when Mr. Roboto gave Goldmember a phallic-shaped golden key needed for activation and control
  • when confronted by Foxxy and Austin who rescued Nigel, Goldmember escaped with the tractor beam power unit and fled to Dr. Evil's submarine
  • Dr. Evil demonstrated how he wasn't bluffing by inserting the golden activation key into the cold fusion port and activating the tractor beam to cause a two-breasted shaped satellite to fall out of orbit; 'phallic' wordplay commenced about the tit-shaped satellite with various breast synonyms:

    - Radar Operator Johnson: Sir, Dr. Evil's not bluffing. One of our satellites is falling out of orbit.
    - General Clark: Which one?
    - Radar Operator Johnson: It's the one that looks like a pair of...
    - Busty Female Vendor: Melons! Big juicy melons!
    - Male Shopper: Are they nice and firm?
    - Busty Female Vendor: Well, what do you think?
    - Male Shopper: (pointing) Look at that. It looks like a set of giant...
    - Four Shirtless Fans With Painted Chests Reading T-I-T-S: Hey, A and N you're late. How're we doin? We're back. (cheering) Go Titans! Check it out. Those remind me of...
    - Ozzy Osbourne: (watching the game on TV and pausing the screen) Boobs!
    - Sharon Osbourne: Boobs, Ozzy?
    - Ozzy Osbourne: These filmmakers are just f--king boobs.
    - Kelly Osbourne: What do you mean, Dad?
    - Ozzy Osbourne: Well, they're using the same f--king jokes as they did in the last Austin Powers movie.
    - Sharon Osbourne: What f--king joke?
    - Jack Osbourne: You know, the f--king joke about the long smooth rocket that looks like some guy's...
    - General Clark: Johnson!
    - Radar Operator Johnson: Yes, sir.
    - General Clark: Any sign of that satellite?
    - Radar Operator Johnson: No, sir. It's gone.
  • the trio of Foxxy, Austin, and Mini-Me (who had defected and switched sides to join them) stealthily entered the submarine; Austin and Mini-Me went off together to search
  • in the sick bay of Dr. Evil's submarine lair, they were disguise in one uniform as a single person (with swinging agent Austin Powers unsteadily perched on Mini-Me's shoulders); a medical officer demanded that they take a physical - requiring a urine sample; they cleverly improvised to provide a urine sample for the doctor (Mini-Me spit out Apple juice through the uniform)

Austin Perched on Mini-Me's Shoulders

Urine Sample Scene

Urine Sample Scene
  • during a hilarious, vulgar shadow-play or puppetry scene, Austin was instructed to go behind a screen and remove his clothes; they were silhouetted behind the curtain while casting very funny shadows ("Mini-Me. Our shadows!"); an astonished and incredulous sailor watched their silhouettes (imagining that he saw Austin playing with himself, and then having a stand-up birth of Mini-Me!)
  • in a major plot twist, Nigel revealed that Austin and Dr. Evil were brothers! as a result of this revelation, Austin lowered his gun and affirmed: "He ain't heavy. He's my brother, baby, yeah." Although there was an emotional reconciliation and a threesome hug (with Mini-Me joining), Evil's son Scott was incensed that his father had turned good, and threatened to retaliate
  • Goldmember appeared and was still resolute to destroy the world; Foxxy threw the golden activation key into the shark tank, although Goldmember reached for a spare from his pants -- "My winkie was a key" he exclaimed; Foxxy misdirected his gunfire, as Dr. Evil attempted to reverse the polarity in the cold fusion control box; as the beam was projected, it reversed itself and lethally electrocuted Goldmember and exploded the meteor
  • the film concluded with an epilogue - Austin and Dr. Evil and other cast members were watching the premiere of Austinpussy in a Hollywood theatre, while back in Dr. Evil's Hollywood lair, a black-garbed and bald Scott danced around and vengefully vowed: "I'm gonna get you, Austin Powers."

Dr. Evil (Mike Myers)

Mini-Me (Verne Troyer)

Demonstration: The Two Breasted Satellite Blasted by Beam

Wordplay Sequence: Melons, Tits, the Osbournes

Hilarious Shadow-Play Sequence Including Mini-Me's "Birth"


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