Bruce Almighty (2003)

In director Tom Shadyac's fanciful comedy:

• during the opening title credits, a discontented Buffalo NY WKBW-TV field reporter, Bruce Nolan (Jim Carrey) was only assigned to cover the worst, most superficial and inconsequential lightweight stories; as he was reporting at Mama and Vol Kowolski's (Lillian Adams and Christopher Darga) downtown bakery shop on its 30th anniversary and was forced - for health reasons - to wear a hair-net; he asked himself: "God, why do you hate me?"; he interviewed the Kowolskis who were attempting to set a record by making Buffalo's largest cookie at 10 feet, 4 inches; he mentioned that the cookie represented "the Price of Buffalo" and ended his pleasant, humorous local report with his signature closing line: "And that's the way the cookie crumbles, I'm Bruce Nolan, Eyewitness News"
• afterwards, Bruce complained to his sweet girlfriend Grace (Jennifer Aniston) about his stagnant job: "I'll never be an anchcorman, not with this. The job's right there, but I can't reach it. Because every time they make me do this kind of stuff, I have to act like a total goof in order to make it work. I have no credibility"; at work, he appealed to his station's boss, Jack Baylor (Philip Baker Hall) to be seriously considered for the open news anchor position, challenging his nemesis - the "favorite" Evan Baxter (Steve Carrell)

Bruce's On-Camera Breakdown at Niagara Falls After Losing the Lead News Anchor Position ("Eroding, eeeeroding, eeeeerodding")

• during Bruce's reporting of a story at Niagara Falls while on the Maid of the Mist ferry, the station announced that Evan had been appointed as the replacement news anchor; on-camera, the freaked-out Bruce suffered a complete nervous breakdown; he insulted Evan ("Let me just add another congratulations to Evan Backstabber - pardon me, Bastard. Baxter, rather"), expressed his disbelief: ("I guess that's how life is, isn't it? Some people are drenched, freezing to death, on a stupid boat, with a stupid hat, while others are in a comfy news studio, sucking up all the glory"), and then verbally abused Bill (Dan Desmond), the ferry owner: ("Tell me, why do you think I didn't get the anchor job?...Is it my hair, Bill? Are my teeth not white enough? Or, like the great falls, is the bedrock of my life eroding beneath me? Eroding, eeeeroding, eeeeerodding"); he ended his report with a fist and obscene sign-off: "Back to you, f--kers!"; when he returned to the office, he was immediately fired and thrown out the door - literally, and shouted as he laid on his back: "That is perfect! That is the motivation that i needed! right there! thank you! Thank you, WKBW! Wimpy Kiddy Baby Whiners! That's what that stands for! I'll see you on Channel 5, where they do the real news!"
• to remedy his life's failures and disappointments, the disgruntled Bruce complained to God (Morgan Freeman), first envisioned as a black janitor in a large empty warehouse, who then was transformed into God in a brightly-lit room - wearing a white suit and tie; although Bruce was skeptical, God revealed to him a long expanding file cabinet representing all of Bruce's life; Bruce then played a guessing game with fingers behind his back - and was shocked to see his own hand with "seven" fingers
• Bruce made the outrageous accusation that he could perform God's job better: ("Fine! The gloves are off, God! C'mon, lemme see a little wrath! Smite me, O mighty smiter! You're the one who should be fired! The only one around here not doing his job is You! ANSWER ME!"); he was offered the chance of trying to be God himself for one week, but later learned that there were two major rules - he couldn't tell anyone that he had God's powers, and he couldn't interfere with free will
• Bruce experimented with his newfound powers in a local diner, when he attempted to part the tomato soup in his bowl in front of him - and it worked; God suddenly appeared next to him and asked: "Having fun?"; as he strutted down the street to the tune of "The Power!" ("I've got the power"), he commanded a fire hydrant to burst and it explosively sprayed water; he was also able to swap clothes with a fashionably-dressed mannequin in a store window
• after Bruce came upon a gang of bullies that had beaten him up earlier, he decided to teach them a lesson when they wouldn't apologize to him (the hood leader (Noel Gugliemi) told Bruce: "We'll apologize the day a monkey comes out of my butt. Then you get your 'sorry'. How about that?"); Bruce vengefully used his powers to actually have a monkey painfully emerge from the leader's back end
• Bruce realized that he would somehow have to answer millions of prayers from worshippers; his first idea was to create a system to receive the prayers by organizing all of them into file cabinets; since it wasn't a "space-saver" idea and was too noticeable, his next bright idea was to create Prayer Post-Its, but again, he and the entire room were immediately plastered with the yellow post-its; his final idea was to use an online solution: "I need something with a lock, security, combination, a password" - and he developed a website titled: "YAHWEH" - an AOL-like computerized email-like system (Insta-Prayer) to receive the prayers
• the most outrageous scene came when Bruce sent powerful "pleasurable" mental sensations into his girlfriend Grace Connelly's mind; she experienced a 'no-contact' uncontrollable, mental orgasm without human touch; while alone in her bathroom with intense sexual arousal through his mental powers, she moaned as she fell back on the toilet seat: "Oh, my God! Ooh!...Oh, God! Oh, Good God!"; she appeared from the bathroom bedraggled, sex-hungry and ready for more - and received a body-slam down into the bed; the camera moved outside their one-bedroom apartment to view their flickering lights and listen to Grace's continued loud moans of sexual bliss

Grace's Entirely "Mental" Orgasm Created by Bruce

Grace Asking Bruce About Her Breasts: "Do they look bigger to you?"

• during breakfast the next morning, Grace observed that her breasts had grown larger overnight (she asked: "I woke up this morning and I felt like, like my boobs were bigger. I mean, do they look bigger to you?"); Evan responded with a double-entendre reply: "This has been the breast beckf..."
• with his newfound powers, Bruce was able to solve the Jimmy Hoffa murder case and locate his missing body, and he also forced a damaging meteor to harmlessly land near a cook-off; he received the nickname "Mr. Exclusive" and was rewarded with his old reporting job - he realized that he was now reporting on better, late-breaking news stories
• using his special powers, during the first anchor broadcast of the Eyewitness News at 6 by Evan - his newly-promoted, obnoxious co-anchor rival, the vengeful Bruce was able to sabotage and disrupt the show; he managed to modify Evan's voice; in addition, Bruce pantomimed typing in alternative news-copy into the teleprompter, causing Evan to say: "In other news: The prime-minister of Sweden visited Washington today, and my tiny little nipples went to France," followed by other ridiculous lines: "The White House reception committee greeted the prime rib roast minister and I do the cha-cha like a sissy girl. I lika do da cha-cha"; Bruce also perfectly lip-synched Evan's voice with complete and hilarious gibberish, and made some embarrassing fart noises (from his own underarm), thought to come from Evan

Bruce's Sabotage of Evan's First News Broadcast

• as a result, Evan was fired and Bruce was appointed as the new anchor; however, as expected, Bruce found that his efforts to be God backfired, for instance, when those who all offered prayers were granted their wishes, but this resulted in all those who prayed to win the lottery having winning numbers, but their prize money only amounted to $17 dollars apiece; during a conversation with God atop of Mt. Everest, Bruce admitted that his attempt at using God's power had destroyed many things and caused chaos, including the breakup of his relationship with Grace; he attempted to set things straight after realizing his mistaken use of God's powers, including making amends with Evan and restoring his job; in a state of despair and emotional anguish, he knelt in the middle of the road to pray to ask God to take back his powers - and was hit head-on by an oncoming truck

Bruce Awakening in a Hospital After Life-Threatening Accident

Reconciled with Grace in the Hospital

• following the accident, Bruce met with God in the clouds and learned how to pray; he selflessly begged and prayed that his estranged girlfriend Grace would find someone to make her happy ("I want her to be happy. No matter what that means. I want her to find someone to treat her with all the love that she deserved from me. I want her to meet someone who’ll see her always as I do now through your eyes")
• suddenly, he was back at the accident scene being treated by EMTs and then he woke up in a hospital, where the doctor told him that he was lucky to be alive: "Someone up there must like you"; he noticed he was receiving a transfusion of life-saving AB Positive Blood (Grace's blood type), just before she arrived and reconciled with him
• in the final bookending scene, Bruce was back doing light-weight fluff reporting at the American Red Cross "Be the Miracle" Blood Drive, telling his viewers: "It’s a B-E-A-UTIFUL day"; earlier in the film, he had expressed his reluctance about donating blood: ("They’re not touching me with no needle!... It’s blood. Blood is supposed to stay inside the body. That’s how it’s meant to be"), but now he announced to the crowd that he was engaged to Grace as Mrs. Exclusive before they went off to donate blood