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Caddyshack (1980)
In director Harold Ramis' feature-film debut - a much-loved,
crass sports-golf comedy - a cult favorite with many quotable lines
of dialogue; it told about two major threats to an exclusive country
club's golf course - a boorish property developer and a destructive
gopher; an outright war was waged against the 'varmint'; its tagline
was: "SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T BELONG"; the popular film was followed
by the sequel Caddyshack
II (1988):
- in the opening (and closing)
credits sequences, a dancing gopher (an animatronic gopher named
Chuck E. Rodent) performed to
the tune of Kenny Loggins' song: "I'm Alright"
- the main setting of the film with its many memorable
characters was the elite Bushwood Country Club in Illinois; one
of the club's teenaged caddies, a young, poor underachiever named Danny
Noonan (Michael O’Keefe) was currently
dating the club's snack-bar attendant and waitress Maggie O’Hooligan
(Sarah Holcomb)
- Danny was the main caddy for rich and privileged,
playboyish golfer Ty Webb (Chevy Chase) who was the son of one
of Bushwood's co-founders; when blindfolded and boasting that he
had the power of intuition, Ty gave advice to Danny: ("I'm
going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe
that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch
with it. Stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball!");
later, Ty made other Zen-like pronouncements: ("A flute
without holes is not a flute. And a donut without a hole is a Danish" or "You're
rather attractive for a beautiful girl with a great body")
- the club's elitist, snobbish, wealthy and arrogant
hotshot Judge Elihu Smails (Ted Knight), one of the club's
co-founders, pulled into the club in his Rolls Royce; he was immediately
upset when he viewed a gopher tunneling through the greens of the
club's massive golf course
- the club's lunatic and deranged greenskeeper Carl
Spackler (Bill Murray) became fixated when ordered by an enraged
Smails and his boss Sandy McFiddish (Thomas A Carlin) to destroy
an intrusive and pesky gopher who was ruining the golf course; Spackler
misinterpreted his boss Sandy's request: "I want you to kill
every golfer on the course" - with Carl's reply: "Check
me if I'm wrong, Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they're
gonna lock me up and throw away the key." Sandy clarified: "Gophers,
ya great git! Not golfers! The little brown furry rodents!"

Judge Elihu Smails (Ted Knight)
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Sandy McFiddish (Thomas A. Carlin)
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Greenskeeper Carl Spackler (Bill Murray)
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- in one of the film's most memorable vignettes, the
speech-impaired, wacky Carl Spackler recounted, to another
incredulous caddy, of how he once caddied for the Dalai Lama in
Tibet: ("So we finish 18, and he's gonna stiff me. And I say: 'Hey, Lama! Hey,
how about a little somethin', you know, for the effort, you know.'
And he says: 'Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die,
on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.' So I got
that goin' for me, which is nice")
Crazed Groundskeeper Carl Spackler
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The Dalai Lama Tale
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The 'Varmint'
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With a Rifle
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- a boorish, crude, abrasive nouveau-riche real
estate developer, and brash wisecracking, loudmouth named Al Czervik
(stand-up comedian Rodney Dangerfield in his feature film debut)
wearing colorful golf clothing drove up in his convertible with
personalized plates - the disrespectful Czervik immediately spouted
many offensive one-liners in the golf shop, with some of the insults
directed toward Judge Smails' hat: ("Oh, this is the worst
lookin' hat I ever saw. You buy a hat like this, I betcha get a
free bowl of soup, huh? (to Smails) Oh, it looks good on you though!")
- shortly later, Czervik continued to harrass and
upset Smails' nearby golf group on the green by playing loud music
from his golf bag, and hitting Smails in the groin with one of
his drives; the aggravating Czervik suggested that the golf course
was the perfect place for a condo and shopping mall development
- Danny learned that the club's
caddy college scholarship had become available when the recipient of
the award had died from a severe
anxiety attack during summer school; his desire to acquire the
money meant befriending
Judge Smails who was the director of the scholarship program; Danny
volunteered to caddy for the Judge and expressed an interest in going
to college, and added: "It looks like my folks won't have enough
money to put me through college"
- all of the caddies, including
Danny, were immediately impressed
by the Judge's sexy young blonde niece Lacy Underall (Cindy Morgan),
who was visiting for the summer from Manhattan; she was judged
by one of the ogling males as "Madonna with meatballs" for her
bra-less look
- throughout the film, Spackler used various methods
to eradicate the gopher pest, including a high-pressure water hose
to flood the gopher's holes, as he threatened the 'varmint': ("Scum,
slime, menace to the golfing industry! You're a disgrace. You're
varmints. You're one of the lowest members of the food chain, and
you'll probably be replaced by the rat"); his initial attempt
caused the flooding of the entire course
- as the Judge's golf game was ending, Czervik bet
him $1,000 dollars he couldn't make his final putt; after missing
the hole, the frustrated Judge threw his golf club into the air
and it struck a woman and rendered her unconscious; to ingratiate
himself to the Judge (to help his scholarship chances), Danny took
the blame for not putting stick-um on the Judge's golf grips
- in his quarters, Spackler grabbed his rifle as
he thought to himself: ("To kill, you must know your
enemy. In this case, my enemy is a varmint, and a varmint will
never quit. Ever! They're like the Viet Cong. Varmint Cong!");
dressed in camouflage that night, he attempted to shoot the gopher
with his rifle (and an attached flashlight) - but missed
- during dinner at the club's restaurant that evening,
Czervik continued to make loud and vulgar jokes; after farting,
he asked: "Oh, did somebody step on a duck?"; he criticized the
food: ("I had better food at the ballgame!
I tell you, this steak still has marks where the jockey was hitting
it"); he also personally insulted the Judge's wife: "Oh,
this is your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you're alright.
You musta been somethin' before electricity, huh?"; he also
continued to harrass and insult other guests at the Judge's table,
with lines such as: "The last time I saw a mouth like that, it
had a hook in it"; he livened up the music on the dance floor,
and then grabbed the Judge's wife to be his dance partner as he
sexually grabbed her: "Hey, you wanna make $14 dollars the hard
way?"
- after dinner and on an outer balcony with the tempting
Lacey, Ty awkwardly and nervously delivered a pick-up line to her:
("What
brings you to this nape of the woods, neck of the wape. How come
you're here?"); she replied: "Daddy wanted to broaden me";
she coyly invited herself to join him that evening: "I'll bet
you've got a lot of nice ties....You want to tie me up with some
of your ties, Ty?"; he demonstrated his method of drinking tequilas
- by snorting the salt, sucking the lemon and tossing the booze over
his shoulder
- Danny competed in the
Caddy Day golf tournament to obtain the caddie scholarship - and
won; he was invited by the Judge to attend the Sunday christening
of the Judge's sloop at the Yacht Club

Busby Berkeley Water Ballet
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Floating Baby Ruth Candy Bar: "Doodie!"
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Spackler on the Gross Pool Incident: "It's no big deal!"
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- a Busby Berkeley-style, synchronized
swimming water ballet was performed by the male golf caddies in the
country club's pool; during a scatological moment, a floating "Baby
Ruth" candy bar was thrown into the pool (a young girl reacted: "Doodie!");
it sent swimmers screaming from the water in a Jaws-inspired
panic - shock and fainting was caused when Spackler (after the pool
was "scrubbed,
sterilized and disinfected") ate the brown object and claimed:
("There it is! It's no big deal!")
- at the Rolling Lakes Yacht Club's christening of
the Judge's sloop, Lacey distracted Danny (handsomely dressed in
a naval uniform), and enticingly invited him to leave and get high
with her back at the Smails' house: ("Hey, Cary Grant. You
want to get high?");
after they left, the Judge's boat was christened as "The Flying
Wasp,"
but then Czervik's gigantic "Seafood" Cruiser disrupted the
ceremony, collided with the Judge's small sloop, and destructively
dropped anchor onto its deck - it quickly sank
- Danny and Lacey were discovered
making out in his bedroom by Smails, who then chased Danny
(in his underwear) out of the house with a golf club
- in the film's memorable "It's In the Hole!" Cinderella
story, Spackler pretended to be an announcer and player - imagining
himself winning the championship Masters golf game at Augusta,
while he was actually practicing teeing off on rows of planted
flowers: ("The crowd is standing on its feet here at Augusta,
the normally reserved Augusta crowd, going wild, for this young
Cinderella. He's come outta nowhere. He's got about 350 yards left.
He's gonna hit about a 5-iron, I expect, don't you think? He's
got a beautiful backswing -- that's -- oh, he got all of that one!
He's gotta be pleased with that. The crowd is just on its feet
here. He's the Cinderella boy, uh -- tears in his eyes I guess,
as he lines up this last shot, he's got about 195 yards left. And
he's got about a -- it looks like he's got about an 8-iron. This
crowd has gone deathly silent, the Cinderella story, outta nowhere.
A former greenskeeper and now, about to become the Masters champion.
It looks like a mirac- it's in the hole! It's in the hole!")
- complications arose the next day when Maggie found
Danny sleeping in the caddy shack, and confessed that she was "late"
(pregnant), but also added: "I don't hold you responsible!
It's my problem. I can handle it"; Danny promised to stand by her:
("I'm not going to let you go through this alone"), although she
wanted to keep the baby: ("I'm going to have it! I've already decided!");
when he offered to get married, she declined his offer ("It might
not be yours. Okay?...I'm not making it up");
shortly later, she was happy to report to Danny that she wasn't
pregnant after all
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in Smails' club office, Danny expected to be fired or to have his
caddy scholarship revoked for romancing Lacey, but the uptight
Smails only asked Danny to keep the incident quiet: ("The last
thing any of us needs now is a lot of loose talk about her behavior"),
after admitting that Lacey had "a certain zest for living"; the
Judge ended their short meeting by asking: "Are you my pal - "Mr.
Scholarship Winner'?" - and Danny agreed: "Yes, sir! I'm your pal!"
- a major showdown developed
in the film's conclusion when Czervik arrogantly called the club
a "dump" and a "crummy snobatorium," but offered
to buy it; an 18-hole team golf tournament was organized between
two pairs of golfers to settle the matter -- Judge Smails
(playing with his regular golfing partner Dr. Beeper (Dan Resin))
and Czervik (playing with Ty Webb); a $20,000 bet (that was eventually
increased to $40,000 and then to a double-or-nothing bet) was made
on the outcome
- meanwhile, the crazed Spackler
threatened the detestable gopher by planting plastic
explosives (inside clay squirrels and rabbits) that were to be inserted
into the gopher holes: ("I have to laugh,
because I've often asked myself. My foe, my enemy, is an animal,
and in order to conquer him, I have to think like an animal. And,
whenever possible, to look like one. I've gotta get inside this
dude's pelt and crawl around for a few days. Who is the gopher's
ally? His friend? The harmless squirrel and the friendly rabbit.
I'm gonna use you guys to do my dirty work for me")
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Spackler Preparing and Planting the Plastic Explosives
in Clay Squirrels and Rabbits
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- once the tournament commenced, Spackler started
to sneakily plant his explosive rabbits and squirrels in the
gopher holes, as he asked his opponent: ("Anybody home? Uh, hello,
Mr. Gopher. Yeah, it's me, Mr. Squirrel. Yeah, hi. Uh, just a harmless
squirrel, not a plastic explosive or anything, nothing to be worried
about. I'm just here to make your last hours on earth as peaceful
as possible...In the words of Jean Paul Sartre, 'Au revoir, gopher.'
This is gonna be sweet")
- when Czervik faked an arm injury as an excuse for
his poor playing, Danny substituted for him; on his
final shot of the game, Danny's putt was perched on the edge of
the hole; it was nudged in by a massive, plastic explosives blast
set off by Spackler to kill the gopher, and Czervik's team won
the game, although the golf course was destroyed in the process
- Smails refused to pay off two of Czervik's enforcers
Moose and Rocco who were called upon ("Help the judge find
his checkbook"), and he fled as Czervik delivered a curtain-closing
invitation: "Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!"

Danny's Putt Hanging on the Edge of the Final Hole
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Explosions Rock the Entire Golf Course
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Curtain-Closing Line: "Hey everybody, we're all
gonna get laid!"
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Caddy Danny Noonan (Michael O’Keefe)

Danny with Golfer Ty Webb (Chevy Chase)
Blindfolded Ty Webb: "Be the ball!"

Bug-eyed Al Czervik (Rodney Dangerfield)


The Judge's Sexy Niece Lacey Underall (Cindy Morgan)

Caddy Danny with Lacey

Danny's Girlfriend Maggie O’Hooligan (Sarah Holcomb)
Obnoxious, Wisecracking Loudmouth Club Member Al Czervik
at Dinner

Ty's Pickup Line to Slutty Lacey

The Caddy Golf Scholarship Competition


Ty's Romancing of the Judge's Promiscuous Niece Lacey - An Oil Massage
and Back Rub

Czervik's Destructive Cruiser Collided With and Sank the Judge's Small
Sloop


Danny's Romancing of Lacey Underall
"It's in the Hole!"

Maggie's Declaration That She Might Be Pregnant

Shortly Later, Maggie Learned She Wasn't Pregnant
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