The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! (1988)

In co-directors Zucker, Abrahams, and Proft's gag-filled slapstick comedy - the first in a trilogy of films, with many insanely silly scenes and dead-panned jokes:

• the opening pre-credits sequence - all the most-feared enemies of the US were seated at one conference table and plotting to destroy America -- Muammar al-Qaddafi, Yasser Arafat, Ayatollah Khomeini, Idi Amin, and Russian leader Gorbachev; Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen), disguised as a tea-server, single-handedly fought off all of them, and then introduced himself: "I'm Lieutenant Frank Drebin, Police Squad. And don't ever let me catch you guys in America!"

Opening Pre-Credits Scene: Introduction of Lt. Frank Drebin
All US Terrorist Enemies at Same Table	Drebin Disguised as Tea-Server Fighting Off Terrorists	Introducing Himself

• during the title credits, the view of a speeding LA cop car (shot behind the revolving cherry-top) down nighttime streets, into a carwash, and then barreling into a house - and a shower with naked women - and then down a rollercoaster before coming to a stop in front of a donut shop
• the scene of Detective Nordberg (O.J. Simpson) - on the receiving end of very bad luck while attempting to bust a heroin drug operation at the docks led by shipping magnate Vincent Ludwig (Ricardo Montalban): Nordberg was shot multiple times, bumped his head, burned his hand on a hot stove, stumbled into a door with 'wet paint', smashed his hand in a closing window, dove face-first into a frosted cake, stepped into a bear trap, and fell overboard
• the hospital scene of Drebin's visit to see badly-wounded partner Detective Nordberg in his hospital room - and causing his bed to fold up on him by sitting on the bed controls, and making insensitive and blunt comments to his wife Wilma (Susan Beaublan): ("And I wouldn't wait until the last minute to fill out those organ donor cards. What I'm trying to say is, as soon as Nordberg is better, he's welcome back at Police Squad. Unless he's a drooling vegetable, but that's only common sense")
• the press conference scene in Los Angeles of Lt. Frank Drebin of the Police Squad being honored for taking care of security for the visiting Queen Elizabeth II of England on a goodwill tour - but when he stepped away from the microphone, he forget to disconnect his remote mike, and was overheard taking a long pee in the men's room - to the shock and disgust of the Mayor
• the scene of hapless LA crimefighter and detective-lawman Lt. Frank Drebin's commandeering of a driving-school vehicle with an unflappable and calm Teen Driving School Instructor (John Houseman): ("It's okay. Normally you would not be going 65 down the wrong way of a one-way street. Apply the brakes. Now, put it in reverse..")
• the first encounter of Drebin with Jane Spencer (Priscilla Presley), Ludwig's ex-girlfriend and assistant - and his comments about her after she descended (and fell down) a flight of stairs: "Her hair was the color of gold in old paintings. She had a full set of curves and the kind of legs you'd like to suck on for a day. She was giving me a look I could feel in my hip pocket"; when she climbed up a ladder, he delivered the famous double-entendre one-liner "Nice beaver" as he looked up her dress - to which a stuffed beaver was produced and her response: "Thank you...I just had it stuffed"
• the scene of Drebin on his first date with Jane, when he found her in the kitchen, asking: "I'm boiling a roast. How hot and wet do you like it?" - he responded: "Very hot and awfully wet"; during a romantic dinner in front of a fireplace, he described the dating scene with an earlier lost love: (Frank: "It's the same old story. Boy finds girl. Boy loses girl. Girl finds boy. Boy forgets girl. Boy remembers girl. Girl dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day" Jane: "Goodyear?" Frank: "No, the worst" ) - she kissed him out of sympathy, and then they had "safe sex" together - both wore complete body condoms

Classic Scenes
"Nice beaver"	"How hot and wet do you like it?"	"Safe Sex"

• the destructive scene of Drebin's complete trashing of business tycoon Ludwig's office-apartment of priceless art objects and treasures
• also the slapstick scene in which Drebin slid across the table and landed, embarrassingly, on the visiting look-alike Queen Elizabeth II of England
• the scenes at the ballgame with Drebin's awkward singing of the national anthem (butchered) while impersonating opera tenor-singer Enrico Pallazzo: ("Oh say can you see / By the dawn's early light / What so proudly we hail / In the twilight's last gleaming? / Whose bright stripes and broad stars / In the perilous night / For the ramparts we watched / uh, da-da-da-da-da-daaaa. / And the rocket's red glare / Lots of bombs in the air / Gave proof to the night / That we still had our flag. / Oh say does that flag banner wave / Over a-a-all that's free / And the home of the land / And the land of the - FREE!")
• and Drebin -- wearing a live police wire while going to the bathroom -- was overheard over the stadium loudspeakers at a speech given by flustered Mayor Barkley (Nancy Marchand)
• and Drebin's undercover role as the home plate umpire: "Steeerikkke!" and his dance around the plate with funky moves, in an attempt to circumvent a 'programmed' Reggie Jackson from assassinating the Queen

Anaheim Stadium Ball Game: Seattle Mariners vs. California Angels
Drebin Singing National Anthem	Impersonating Home Plate Umpire
Drebin's "Power of Love" Speech to a Hypnotized Jane (with Gun)		Nordberg Sent Flying Down Stadium Steps

• Drebin's smaltzy "Power of Love" speech to a hypnotized Jane (as she held a gun on him); his words were broadcast on the Jumbotron as he professed his love to her, asked for her engagement, and attempted to break her homicidal spell: "Jane, it's me, Funny-face. You love Frank Drebin. And Frank Drebin loves you. Jane, listen to me. If you don't love me, you might as well pull that trigger, because without you, l wouldn't want to live anyway. l've finally found someone l can love - a good, clean love - without utensils...lt's a topsy-turvy world, Jane, and maybe the problems of two people don't amount to a hill of beans, but this is our hill and these are our beans. Jane, since l met you, l've noticed things l never knew where there - birds singing, dew glistening on a newly-formed leaf, stop lights...Jane, this morning... l bought something for you. lt's not very much, but pretty good for an honest policeman's salary. lt's an engagement ring. I would have given it to you earlier, but l wanted to wait until we were alone....l love you, Jane" - she melted at his words, dropped her gun, and embraced him for a kiss
• and in the conclusion, the visual joke at the top of the stadium when wheel-chaired, recuperating partner Nordberg was slapped on the back by Frank and was sent helplessly down the aisle of the stadium steps and flipped 360 degrees to the ballfield below as Jane gushed to Frank: "Everyone should have a friend like you!"