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The Producers (1968)
In Mel Brooks' most popular farce - a zany, often
brilliant spoof comedy about Broadway productions and the Nazis:
- in the high-energy, opening credits sequence, cash-hungry,
desperate, bankrupt, wild-eyed, hustling has-been Broadway producer
Max Bialystock (Zero Mostel) was entertaining and romancing rich,
love-starved little old ladies for their money - he seduced "Cash" out of elderly females,
with the film's first line: "Don't forget the check-y! Can't
produce plays without check-y"; one little old lady responded: "You
can count on me-o, you dirty young man"
- he also played ridiculous
sex games with a spry Old Lady (85-year-old Estelle Winwood), who
came to his door and requested: "Hold me, touch me" (other
games were: "The Innocent Little Milkmaid and the Naughty
Stable Boy," and "The Countess and the Chauffeur")
Max's Fleecing of Rich Old Ladies
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- Max's timid, meek, high-strung and neurotic
accountant Leopold "Leo" Bloom (Gene Wilder in his first
starring role) arrived, and Max delivered a "rhetorical conversation" about
his failed professional life: "You
know who I used to be? Max Bialystock! The King of Broadway. Six
shows running at once! Lunch at Delmonico’s. Two hundred
dollar suits. (Max gestured at his stick pin) You see this? This
once held a pearl as big as your eye. Look at me now. Look at me
now! I'm wearing a cardboard belt! I used to have thousands
of investors begging, pleading, to put their money into a Max Bialystock
production. Look at my investors now. Voila! Hundreds of little
old ladies stopping off at Max Bialystock's office to grab a last
thrill on the way to the cemetery" - he showed off his cabinet
filled with dozens of photos of older women admirers
- then at the window after rubbing it clear with his
drink, he spotted a chauffeured white Rolls Royce parking outside
Kippys restaurant across the street, and gleefully yelled in admiration
and jealousy: "Look at that. A white
Rolls Royce. That's it baby, when you got it, flaunt it"
- after Leo looked at Max's accounting books, and
realized he had found a $2,000 difference, Leo became extremely
nervous and reached for his little blue security blanket for comfort;
when Max grabbed it away, Leo explained his infantile need: "I'm
sorry. I don't like people touching my blue blanket....It's a minor
compulsion. I can deal with it if I want to. It's just that I've
had it ever since I was a baby and, and I find it very comforting"
- Max devised a rascally scheme or plan, after an
off-handed suggestion by Leo who was musing about using 'creative
accounting' techniques: "But under the right circumstances,
a producer could make more money with a flop than he could with
a hit...You simply raise more money than you really need"
- the two greedily paired up and concocted an illegal
'sure-fire' scheme to make a million dollars from investors by
producing the worst, most tasteless play ever made; they would purposely
over-finance a "sure-fire
flop" play,
and then pocket the remainder of the investors' money after the
show closed; he fantasized that afterwards, they would run away with
the stolen money to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
- to ease Leo's frazzled nerves, Max threw a cup of
cold water at Leo, and Leo had a further outburst: "I'm hysterical
and I'm wet. (Max slapped him on the face) I'm in pain and I'm
wet, and I'm still hysterical"
- they promenaded through the park (riding a carousel
and renting a boat) - with the eruption of Lincoln Center's fountain,
as Leo joyously danced and shouted that he would join Max: "I'm
a nothing. I spend my life counting other people's money. People
I'm smarter than. Better than! I want... I want...I want everything
I've ever seen in the movies!...I'll do it! By God, I'll do it!"
- in a hilarious "concierge" sequence,
Max and Leo (seeking a Nazi playwright named Franz Liebkind, see
below) were confronted by an apartment building's
self-proclaimed "Concierge" (Madlyn
Cates) who stuck her head out of a ground-floor window and questioned
their entrance: "Who do ya want? Nobody gets in the building
unless I know who they want. I'm the concierge. My husband
used to be the concierge, but he's dead. Now I'm the concierge...Oh,
the Kraut! He's on the top floor, Apartment 23...But ya won't find
him there. He's up on the roof with his boids. He keeps boids.
Dirty, disgusting, filthy, lice-ridden boids. You used to be able
to sit out on the stoop like a person. Not anymore! No, sir! Boids!
Ya get my drift?...I'm not a madam! I'm a concierge!"
- Max and Leo met (over schnapps in his apartment)
with insane, goose-stepping, deranged ex-Nazi "kraut," WWII
helmet-wearing Franz Liebkind (Kenneth Mars), a playwright who
sang German anthems; he was the author of the play Springtime
For Hitler - that Max wanted to produce on Broadway; he had
only scorn for British prime minister Winston Churchill, but spoke
glowingly about his Fuhrer: "Hitler - there was a painter!
He count paint an entire apartment in one afternoon! Two Coats!
Churchill. He couldn't even say 'Nazi'. He would say 'Noooo-zeeehz,
Nooooooooooooo-zeeehz!' It wasn't Noses! It was Nazis!
Churchill!...Let me tell you this! And you're hearing this straight
from the horse. Hitler was better looking than Churchill. He was
a better dresser than Churchill. He had more hair! He told funnier
jokes! And he could dance the pants off of Churchill!...Churchill!"
- Max hired a "toy" -- a blonde, buxom,
hip-swinging, va-va-voom Swedish-speaking, sexpot receptionist-secretary
Ulla (Lee Meredith) whose "work" consisted of go-go dancing
for Max
- they also recruited pompous, flamboyant,
cross-dressing (transvestite), gay director Roger DeBris (Christopher
Hewett) and his bearded assistant/lover Carmen Ghia (Andreas Voutsinas)
for their production
- there were extensive auditions for the various roles
(mostly Hitler) in their over-financed play Springtime for Hitler;
deranged, middle-aged hippie actor Lorenzo St. Du Bois "L.S.D."'s
(Dick Shawn) audition featured the pathetic flower child love
song "Love Power"; Hitler's character in the play was
a role taken by spaced-out, adult flower child LSD
- their outrageous, perverted, outlandish
and distasteful musical at the Playhouse Theatre premiered - with
the opening, satirical title number Springtime for Hitler,
complete with a goose-stepping, black-booted Nazi chorus (a parody
of the Busby Berkeley style in a revolving swastika formation shot
from overhead) that sang and danced (with the lyrics: "Don't
be stupid, be a smarty, Come and join the Nazi party!"), also
accompanied with gunshot sounds!
- initially, Leo and Max were
joyful (believing that they had produced their "sure-fire
flop" on Broadway) when they overheard a female patron exiting the play
while exclaiming: "Well, talk about bad taste!", with slow-panning reaction shots
of the horrified audience members gasping at the Broadway musical
play
- unexpectedly, their plan backfired - their resultant
joy was turned to consternation when Leo and Max realized that
their flop was actually a big surprise hit when they were toasting the failure in a nearby bar, and heard
theatre-goers during the intermission proclaim the play a real
success: "Well, so far that's about the funniest thing I've
ever seen on Broadway"

Initial Hopes for Their Failed Play
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Horrified Audience Reaction
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Joy Turned to Consternation
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- after the trio conspired to blow up the theatre
to end their production of Springtime For Hitler, they were
charged with fraud and appeared in court (filled with weeping old
ladies); Leo sat with a bandaged forehead, while Franz was mummified,
and Max had his hand in a cast sporting an upraised middle finger
- Leo presented his defense of Max to the court: "Max
Bialystock is the most selfish man I ever met in my life...Not
only is he a liar and a cheat and a scoundrel and a crook, who
has taken money from little old ladies, but he's also talked people
into doing things, especially me, that they would never in a thousand
years have dreamed of doing. But, your Honor, as I understand it,
the law was created to protect people from being wronged. Your
Honor, whom has Max Bialystock wronged? I mean, whom has he really hurt? Not me.
Not me. I was... this man. No one ever called me Leo before. I
mean, I know it's not a big legal point, but even in kindergarten,
they used to call me Bloom. I never sang a song before. I mean
with someone else. I never sang a song with someone else before.
This man, this man, this is a wonderful man. He made me what I
am today. He did. And what of the dear ladies? What would their
lives have been without Max Bialystock? Max Bialystock who made
them feel young and attractive and wanted again? That's all that
I have to say" (The ladies stood and applauded); Max
stood and tacked on his own final words: "And may I humbly
add, your Honor, that we've learned our lesson and that we'll never
do it again."
Leo's Court Defense of Max and Franz
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- after being proclaimed "incredibly guilty," the
trio was sent to the State Penitentiary after being sentenced for
2-5 years - but they hadn't learned their lesson; Leo and Max put
on a similarly fraudulent production of Prisoners of Love in
prison; Leo was accepting payments for 'shares' of the show from
other convicts (and even the warden), while Max was bellowing during
dance rehearsal: ("Sing it out, men! Higher, you animals,
higher! We open in Leavenworth Saturday night!")
- there was an affectionate tribute to Mostel in
the end credits, listed only as "Zero"
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"Look at me now!"
"That's it, baby, when you got it, flaunt it"
Max's Accountant Leo With His Blue Security Blanket: "You're
making me extremely nervous"
Leo's Proposal of a Creative Financial Scheme
Leo: "I'm hysterical and I'm wet"
Promenade Through Central Park and to Lincoln Center
"I'm the Concierge"
Franz Liebkind (Kenneth Mars) On the Roof with His "Boids"
Max's Swedish-Speaking, Secretary Ulla (Lee Meredith)
Assistant/Lover Carmen Ghia
Gay Director Roger DeBris (Christopher Hewett) - "The
World's Worst Director"
L.S.D.'s "Love Power" Audition to be Hitler
Hitler in Springtime for Hitler
The Trio's Plot to Blow Up the Theatre
"Prisoners in Love" - in Prison
End Credits Tribute to 'Zero'
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