The Greatest Guy Movies
of All-Time


The Greatest Guy Movies of All-Time
Title Screen
Movie Title/Year and Brief Description, Including Great Quotes and Scenes

American Pie (1999)

Also the sequel American Pie 2 (2001)

Other films in the series, including: American Wedding (2003), American Pie Presents: Band Camp (2005), American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile (2006), American Pie Presents: Beta House (2007), and American Pie Presents: Book of Love (2009)

See Sex in Cinema entries.

Director Paul Weitz's wildly popular, raucous teen-sex comedy was typical of the late 90s and brought back raunch to this genre of comedy film. It was an extreme 'guilty pleasure' film about losing one's virginity on prom night - in its tale of a sex-obsessed, awkward, coming-of-age high school senior named Jim Levenstein (Jason Biggs). In one scene, he masturbated himself with a long athletic sock while watching a scrambled porn channel on TV - when his parents interrupted.

Jim had made a pact with three other male teens: Oz (Chris Klein), Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas) and Finch (Eddie Kay Thomas) to get laid within three weeks. Its most notorious scene was the one of horny Levenstein, who had previously found out that "third base" felt like "warm apple pie." He humped the family's fresh-baked hot apple pie on the kitchen counter (viewed from behind, his bare buttocks thrust into the pie) and being caught by his father (Eugene Levy) (Dad: "Jim?!" Jim: "It's not what it looks like"), and then later deciding not to tell Jim's mother: "Well, we'll just tell your mother that uh, that uh, we ate it all."

In a widely-publicized scene, Jim also spied through the Internet with a web-cam on frisky, busty Czech exchange student Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth) who was pleasuring herself in his bedroom. Then, when he joined her in bed, he prematurely climaxed twice - not realizing that his escapades were being broadcast to the entire student body.

"I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day."

"No longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused! From now on, we fight for every man out there who isn't getting laid when he should be! This is our day! This is our time! And, by God, we're not gonna let history condemn us to celibacy! We will make a stand! We will succeed! We will get laid!"

Jim's sexual instruction by his father, who supplied girlie magazines and advice about masturbation.

The scene of watching foreign exchange student Nadia undress in Jim's bedroom, via a digital camera and the Internet, and then recline topless on Jim's bed to look at his girlie magazines.

Fight Club (1999)

David Fincher's daring, feverish and dark non-linear satire on manhood in crisis found a large (and sometimes controversy-invoking) audience with its compelling, grim and twisting story about the glorification of self-destructive violence by a men's fight club, with voice-over narration provided by Edward Norton.

The nameless Narrator, a 29 year-old yuppie corporate worker who was increasingly bored, self-help addicted, disillusioned and dissatisfied with his emasculated life, joined a macho subcultural group known as "Fight Club," led by charismatic, anarchic punk and soap salesman Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt).

Their first encounter was marked by violence - an aggressive bare-knuckle fight. His anti-capitalistic philosophy could be summed up in his own words: "You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your f--king khakis."

By the film's end, it was revealed that Durden was actually one side of the split personality-psyche of the Narrator's own imagination. During the explosive finale as terrorist violence escalated through activities called "Project Mayhem," Durden threatened to blow up the buildings of various major credit card companies and couldn't be subdued by the Narrator.

The only way he could destroy, stop or kill "Durden" in his mind was by shooting himself in the jaw/face - barely surviving and watching the exploding buildings collapse with his nihilistic girlfriend Marla Singer (Helena Bonham Carter) at his side.

"The First rule of Fight Club is You do not talk about Fight Club. The Second rule of Fight Club is You do not talk about Fight Club..."

"All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I f--k like you wanna f--k, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not."

"We are consumers. We are byproducts of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty: these things don't concern me. What concerns me is celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear, Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra.... Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic. It's all going down, man....The things you own end up owning you."

"I want you to hit me as hard as you can."

The pullback shot from the Narrator's "Fear Center" inside his brain, during the opening credits.

The IKEA set-piece ("I'd flip through catalogues and wonder, what kind of dining set defines me as a person.")

The many bare-fisted, brutal fights in dark underground basements.

The climactic scene of buildings being blown up during Project Mayhem as the wounded Narrator watched after unsuccessfully trying to blow his brains out.

The Matrix (1999)

See also The Matrix Reloaded (2003) and The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

Writers-directors Andy and Larry Wachowski's second feature film (following the lesbian-tinged gangster film Bound (1996)) was the ambitious and inventive, kinetic, action-oriented virtual-reality flick.

It told about slacker hacker Thomas Anderson / dubbed Neo (Keanu Reeves) who was called as a messianic figure to save the world (of approximately the year 2199) from virtually indestructible Sentient Agents.

The blockbuster's wild popularity among audiences was due to its combination of comic-bookish plot, mysticism, philosophical complexity, computer-enhanced digital effects of its unbelievable action scenes, flying bullet-dodging ("bullet-time") and intriguing virtual worlds in which reality was redefined as a computer simulation.

It helped to illustrate what the future would be of futuristic sci-fi action films with slick and smart plots, and jaw-dropping action. Tremendous visual effects were combined with Eastern world-denying philosophy, metaphysical Zen statements, Japanese anime, Greek mythology, cyberpunk chic, neo-Cartesian plot twists, film noir, and Biblical and Lewis Carroll (Alice in Wonderland) references.

"There is no spoon."

The airborne kung-fu fight scene between Neo and Agent Smith, and the dodging bullets scene.

American Psycho (2000)

Director Mary Harron's perversely witty, ultra-violent drama, an adaptation of Bret Easton Ellis' 1991 novel American Psycho, presented a social satire of the morally-shallow Reagan era with its portrait of the violent psyche of a misogynistic male -- New York stock executive Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale).

The wealthy, delusional, loathsome, 27 year-old narrator/yuppie and serial killer danced, sang, and commented upon the upbeat but bland pop music of Huey Lewis and the News' "Hip To Be Square" or Phil Collins' "Sussudio" as foreplay to violence. The well-tanned, status and brand-conscious, narcissistic 'hard-body' Bateman worked out while viewing porno and horror films with women screaming, as he perpetrated macabre murders of prostitutes and co-workers.

In a grisly apartment murder scene, Bateman wore a clear rainslicker and hit associate Paul Allen (Jared Leto) over the head with a shiny new axe head - with blood splattering over his face from the impact of the strikes (off-screen).

In another scene, Bateman conducted a video-taped menage a trois with two hookers - and then nude and bloodied after stabbing one of the two prostitutes under a bed sheet during intercourse, chased after the second fleeing negligee-clad hooker Christie (Cara Seymour) with a chainsaw through his apparently empty NYC apartment hallway and dropped it down on her from a stairwell - she died when it hit her in the back.

In his own words, he declared his warped psychosis amidst the shallow and empty aspects of competitive and consumeristic corporate culture: ("Did you know I'm utterly insane?" "I simply am not there" and "I think my mask of sanity is about to slip") as his two worlds of business and sex/hyper-violence came together - although it appeared that the violence was all merely fantasy when he mused to himself about what he had done in the film's concluding voice-over monologue.

- "I know, I know, there are no girls with good personalities."
- "A good personality consists of a chick with a little hard body, who will satisfy all sexual demands without bein' too slutty about things, and who will essentially keep her dumb f--king mouth shut."
- "The only girls with good personalities who are smart or maybe funny or halfway intelligent or talented, though God knows what the f--k that means, are ugly chicks."

- "When I see a pretty girl walking down the street, I think two things. One part wants me to take her out, talk to her, be real nice and sweet and treat her right...."
- "And what did the other part think?"
- "What her head would look like on a stick..."

The comparison of business cards scene.

Gladiator (2000)

Director Ridley Scott's spectacular, historical adventure epic, a popular Best Picture winner and big-budget blockbuster (over $200 million), revived the subgenre of 'sword and sandal' films of the Roman Empire. (Although greatly enhanced with CGI-digital effects, it revived the memory of dramatic historic-epic films and 'sword-and-sandal' spectaculars of the 50s, such as Quo Vadis? (1951), Ben-Hur (1959) and Spartacus (1960).)

Its basic tale of good vs. evil, betrayal, and revenge - was about an outcast Roman general (and single-minded rebel-hero) Maximus Decimus Meridius (Russell Crowe) seeking vengeance for betrayal and his family's death. Set in 180 AD, it told the story of the life of this heroic trusted and capable Roman General, who was betrayed by power-hungry Commodus (Joaquin Phoenix), the treacherous son of kindly Emperor Marcus Aurelius (Richard Harris). Commodus committed patricide in order to take the throne away from his father. Maximus narrowly escaped execution during the change of power, although his own wife (Giannina Facio) and young son (Giorgio Cantarini) were both murdered in their home in Spain.

The spectacle of the Roman Colosseum's gladiatorial battles and contests was balanced with royal intrigue involving the resentful heir to the Roman throne. In a dramatic scene in the arena, condemned and enslaved gladiator "The Spaniard" - former loyal General Meridius, gave a short introduction to treacherous Emperor Caesar Commodus when ordered to remove his helmet and reveal his true identity - he declared vengeance for the assassination of the elderly Emperor Marcus Aurelius and the brutal murder of his family.

In the Spaniard's moving last moments during one-on-one combat with the treacherous Emperor, he had already been stabbed with a stiletto (causing punctured lungs) and was slowly dying. The mortally-wounded Maximus stabbed the Emperor in the throat with his own hidden stiletto and killed him, after Commodus had dropped his sword and no one would provide him with another.

Maximus saw visions of himself entering into his home's wooden gates in the afterlife. Before dying, he ordered Quintus (Tomas Arana): "Free my men, Senator Gracchus is to be reinstated. There was a dream that was Rome. It shall be realized. These are the wishes of Marcus Aurelius." As he succumbed in the arms of Commodus' sister Lucilla (Connie Nielsen), his own ex-lover, he told her (his final words): "Lucius is safe." She urged him to go to his dead family: "Go to them."

In the film's opening, Roman army General Maximus Decimus Meridius addressed his troops before battling Germanic barbarians: "Fratres! Three weeks from now, I will be harvesting my crops. Imagine where you will be, and it will be so. Hold the line! Stay with me! If you find yourself alone, riding in green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled, for you are in Elysium, and you're already dead! Brothers: What we do in life echoes in Eternity."

"Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?"

And Maximus' reveal to Commodus: "My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."

The Colosseum Fight Sequences.

Maximus' death scene - as he perished, his body floated upwards and he experienced visions of his family in the afterlife as they greeted him on a dusty road and he waded through waving yellow reeds. She reassured that he had greeted them: "You're home." Lucilla stood up and addressed everyone: "Is Rome worth one good man's life? We believed it once. Make us believe it again. He was a soldier of Rome. Honor him." Fellow gladiators surrounded Maximus and carried his body out of the arena.

Gone in 60 Seconds (2000)

Nicolas Cage starred in Dominic Sena's glossy remake of the 1974 fast car classic as a carbooster (thief) named Randall "Memphis" Raines - it was Cage's 3rd Jerry Bruckheimer action film (after The Rock (1996) and Con Air (1997)).

In this stereotypical, by-the-numbers, predictable film with cliched conventions throughout, reluctant anti-hero Raines' mission was to steal 50 cars overnight and deliver them to a Long Beach pier, to repay a debt that his brother Kip (Giovanni Ribisi) owed to psychopathic, wealthy stolen car dealer Raymond Calitri (Christopher Eccelston) and his henchmen.

With his former LA car-heist gang members Donny (Chi McBride), Otto (Robert Duvall), Sphinx (Vinnie Jones), and tough, blonde-dreadlocked chick girlfriend Sara "Sway" Wayland (Angelina Jolie) assembled for one more job, Raines planned to steal the automobiles (all code-named with female names, such as Nadine, Vanessa, Samantha or Eleanor), while avoiding stakeout cops (Grand Theft Auto Division detectives Castelbeck (Delroy Lindo) and Drycoff (Timothy Olyphant)) on the lookout.

The film made a clear connection between sex, ladies and automobiles ("Hello, ladies. I always was a sucker for a redhead").

"Having sex or boosting cars... Um, ooh! Uh. How about having sex while boosting cars?"

The final spectacular car chase with the 50th stolen car - a 1967 Shelby Mustang GT 500 (nicknamed Eleanor) being pursued throughout Los Angeles by black BMW 5 Series police cars.

The Fast and the Furious (2001)

Also, 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003), The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006), Fast & Furious (2009), and more

New action hero Vin Diesel starred in this mindless but thrilling Rob Cohen crime film as shaved-head LA mechanic and street-racing leader Dominic "Dom" Toretto. "Dom" was suspected of being a hijacker of trucks filled with DVD players and electronics equipment, while pursued by handsome undercover police officer Brian O'Conner (Paul Walker).

This was another copycat example of a guy film with booming explosions and pyrotechnics, loud car stunts (races, chases, flipping vehicles and wrecks), and fast women provided for eye candy.

The film's two accessory females were: innocent Mia (Jordana Brewster), a female gang member and the sister of "Dom" (also the love interest of the conflicted cop who fell for the racing lifestyle), and Dom's sexy girlfriend Letty (Michelle Rodriguez).

A rival Vietnamese gang led by Johnny Tran (Rick Yune) that was doing the actual hijackings added to the film's tension, and its drag-racing authenticity was enhanced by technical-sounding car terms such as NOS ("Nitrous Oxide System") and Motec exhaust systems.

"I live my life a quarter mile at a time. Nothing else matters.”

"You can have any brew you want - as long as it's Corona."

"I smell skanks. Why don't you girls just pack it up before I leave tread marks on your face?"

"It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning."

The innovative, zooming camera shot through a car's transmission system during a drag-race.

The final exciting hijacking of a truck, with a driver armed with a shotgun.

Jackass: The Movie (2002)

Also, Jackass Number Two (2006) and others

The cautionary tagline was this outrageous, juvenile, and tasteless unscripted docu-comedy film (with no plot, characters, script or sets) was "Do not attempt this at home."

The episodic film was a more extreme, feature-length theatrical version of the controversial MTV-show of the same name, about the execution of various dangerous, painful and death-defying stunts by a masochistic group of twenty-something misfit males (self-proclaimed 'jackass' pranksters), who would appeal to frat-house audiences and other slackers.

The insane, scatalogical film, sometimes similar to Candid Camera, was also full of buttocks-anal images, genitalia (all male), barfing vomit, bodily fluids, unbleeped profanity, and alligators!

The scenes of defecating in a display toilet in a hardware store, of eating a cone of snow soaked in one's own urine, of self-inflicted paper cuts, of bowling head-first on a skateboard, of using a rental car in a demolition derby (and then returning it to the dealership), of crashing a golf cart in a miniature golf range, masturbating underwater with a sea cucumber, suspending oneself over alligators with a jock-strap filled with raw meat, and the X-raying of a guy who has shoved a toy car up his anus.

The segment titled: "Ass Kicked By Girl" in which one of the characters fought against a female Japanese martial arts expert, predicting ahead of time: "I'm about to get the s--t kicked out of me by a girl."

xXx (2002)

Director Rob Cohen's PG-13-rated action film had a booming soundtrack and well-choreographed stunts of fiery explosions at a Colombian drug ranch, skydiving, soaring motorcycles, and a snowy avalanche - alongside a very cliched and thin James Bond-styled plot.

It starred Vin Diesel as unemployed, anti-authority, cyber-savvy bad-ass and extreme-sports daredevil named Xander Cage. The rule-breaking, muscle-bound, leather-clad and tattooed Xander, who continually spouted one-liners (e.g., "Where's the peanuts?") with a gruff voice, was offered a mission by NSA Agent Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson) to clean-up his record, by reluctantly becoming a NSA special agent dubbed Agent Triple-X.

He journeyed to Eastern Europe (Prague) to investigate biological warfare anarchists led by megalomaniacal Yorgi (Marton Csokas), by infiltrating into their underground group named Anarchy 99.

One of the extremist commandos was leather-booted, flirtatious and sexy Yelena (Asia Argento), Yorgi's girlfriend. The group's plan was to launch AHAB - a solar-powered submarine that would release the bio-weapon dubbed "Silent Night."

"[Video games] It's the only education we got!"

"Do I look like a fan of law enforcement?"

"Dude, you have a bazooka. Stop thinking Prague Police and start thinking PlayStation. Blow s--t up!"

"If you're gonna ask someone to save the world, you'd better make sure they like it the way it is."

The scene of xXx stealing and then driving California State Senator Dick Hotchkiss' red Corvette off a 700-foot bridge, and escaping by parachute from the back of the vehicle to elude dozens of pursuing highway patrol cars.

The mountainside avalanche scene, with Triple X barely escaping in front of it on a snowboard ("Nothing like fresh powder").

Greatest 'Guy' Movies Of All Time
(chronological, by film title)
Intro | 1960-1965 | 1966-1969 | 1970-1973 | 1974-1976 | 1977-1979 | 1980-1981 | 1982-1983
1984-1987 | 1988-1991 | 1992-1993 | 1994 | 1995 | 1996-1998 | 1999-2002 | 2003-2009

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