Classic Comedies:

Funniest Movie
Moments and Scenes


Title Screen
Movie Title/Year and Scene Descriptions

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

  • 1930s archaeology professor Indiana Jones' (Harrison Ford) signature image: a brown leather flight jacket, a bullwhip and a snappy fedora
  • the stimulating opening sequence in a booby-trapped jungle cave (the "Give me the whip" and "Throw me the idol" moment and the fate of traitorous Satipo) featuring an immense rolling boulder (and Indy's dash away from it)
  • Indy's pursuit by a tribe of cannibals in a tropical setting toward an awaiting escape plane, where he first exhibited his fear of snakes to the pilot: "I hate snakes, Jock. I hate 'em"
  • Indy's piteously fearful and weary sigh when he realized he would have to descend into a pit of asps and cobras at the ancient tomb - The Well of Souls: "Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?"
  • his casual and calm execution (with one shot from a gun) of a massive, menacing, black-garbed, Arabian swordsman (stuntman Terry Richards) exhibiting spectacular swordsplay in a bazaar
  • his comment to Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen) about his prowess: "It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage"

Raising Arizona (1987)

  • the eleven-minute opening sequence (before the credits) of the first meetings between the two protagonists during multiple returns to prison: hapless petty crook H. I. McDunnough (Nicolas Cage) and female police officer and photographer Edwina or "Ed" (Holly Hunter)
  • their quick courtship/marriage, followed by HI's off-screen narration about the loss of their happy "salad days" in a desert trailer with the news of distraught Edwina's barren infertility: ("Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase")
  • the birth of the Arizona quints and the childless couple's decision to execute a kidnapping of one of the Arizona quintuplets fathered by shady unpainted-furniture salesman magnate Nathan Arizona Sr. (Trey Wilson) when they discovered that they couldn't adopt due to his criminal record: ("Biology and the prejudices of others conspired to keep us childless")
  • the actual scene of the madcap kidnapping of 'Nathan Jr.' in the nursery, and the young boy's delivery to Edwina as HI tossed her Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care book ("Here's the instructions")
  • the slapstick near-disastrous, brilliantly-timed convenience store robbery to steal Huggies diaperscaper in which H.I. (with a stocking over his head) robbed the store of its cash -- along with Huggies diapers: ("I'll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash ya got... And make it quick, I'm in dutch with the wife") - and the hysterical, deadpan one-liner by a hayseed hick (John O'Donnal) in a pickup truck when H.I. tried to commandeer it: "Son, you've got a panty on your head"
  • also the hilarious scene the morning after the crime of unfinished-furniture magnate/father Nathan Arizona Sr. being questioned by the press, cops, and the FBI while being fingerprinted: ("Damn it, are you boys gonna chase down yer leads, or you gonna sit around drinkin' coffee in the one house in the state where I know my boy ain't at?!")
  • the crude duo of H.I.'s two disreputable, loud, slobbish, ex-con cellmates - fugitive buddies and brothers Gale and Evelle Snoats (John Goodman and William Forsythe) who used HI's place as a hideout and also stole the baby
  • the frightening and diabolical character -- "the Lone Biker of the Apocalypse" bounty hunter Leonard Smalls (Randall 'Tex' Cobb) who pursued everyone on his Harley for the baby - culminating in a frenetic chase through an Arizona town
  • the final battle between a vastly overmatched H.I. and Leonard -- H.I. killed him by accidentally pulling a pin from Leonard's grenade bandolero
  • the scene in which H.I. and Ed returned the baby (T.J. Kuhn)
  • H.I.'s concluding dream fantasy of the future, and his envisioning of his future life with Edwina, dreaming of them living happily as an older couple - the parents of well-adjusted children who had children of their own: ("That night I had a dream. I dreamt I was as light as the ether, a floatin' spirit visiting things to come. The shades and shadows of the people in my life wrassled their way into my slumber... But still I hadn't dreamt nothin' about me 'n Ed, until the end. And this was cloudier, 'cause it was years, years away. But I saw an old couple bein' visited by their children, and all their grandchildren too. The old couple wasn't screwed up, and neither were their kids or their grandkids... And I don't know. You tell me. This whole dream, was it wishful thinking? Was I just fleein' reality, like I know I'm liable to do? But me'n Ed, we can be good, too... and it seemed real. It seemed like us. And it seemed like, well... our home...")

The Return of the Living Dead (1985)

  • the shocking discovery by inept medical supply warehouse workers Frank (James Karen) and Freddy (Thom Mathews), after releasing toxic gas, that they had reanimated a dead dog, and a human cadaver within a meat locker, with Frank's phone call to his boss Burt Wilson (Clu Galagher) with an understatement: ("Burt, Frank. We have a little problem")
  • the attempt to saw off the head of a zombie when a blow to the head with a pick axe didn't kill it - although the headless body still attacked, and Burt suggested that they had to destroy and burn the body: "We just got to destroy it completely until there's nothing left...Sulphuric acid maybe. No, no. Aqua regia, that's stronger"
  • Freddy's girlfriend Tina's (Beverly Randolph) assault in the basement by one of the zombies, a half-melted black corpse named Tarman, who kept crying out in a deep voice: "Brains!..More Brains! Live Brains!"
  • the scene of the 1/2 woman corpse being asked why she ate humans (their brains only), and her responses: "The pain of being DEAD!...I can feel myself rot....It makes the pain, go away!"
  • the graveyard scene in which Trash (Linnea Quigley) began describing to Spider (Miguel A. Núñez Jr.) the most horrible way to die, as she began to rub her hands all over her own body: ("Do you ever fantasize about being killed? Do you ever wonder about all the different ways of dying, you know, violently? And wonder, like, what would be the most horrible way to die?...Mmm. Well for me, the worst way would be for a bunch of old men to get around me, and start biting and eating me alive....First, they would tear off my clothes..."), slightly before she was surrounded by a horde of zombies and killed in the way she had envisioned
  • and after a group of zombies killed some cops, one of them used the ambulance's dispatch radio to request: "Send... more... cops"
  • and the similar scene of another zombie calling dispatch and ordering: "Send...more...paramedics"

Risky Business (1983)

  • the opening fantasy-dream sequence in which Chicago suburbia-dwelling, college-bound high school Joel Goodson (Tom Cruise) saw a strange young girl (Francine Locke credited as "Shower Girl") soaping up in a steamy shower in his neighbor's house - and her non-chalant request: "I want you to wash my back" - making him three hours late for his College Boards tests
  • the famed scene of his floor-sliding entrance into the living room while solo dancing and wearing white socks, a pink-striped shirt, and tight underwear, and lip-synching to the tune of Bob Seger's "Old Time Rock & Roll"
  • Miles' (Curtis Armstrong) repeated advice to Joel when his parents were away: "Every now and then say, 'What the f--k.' 'What the f--k' gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future"
  • Joel's cool Ray-Ban sunglasses
  • Joel's successful dealing in "human fulfillment" and free enterprise in the extracurricular Future Enterprisers organization

Road to Morocco (1942)

  • the funniest of the "Road To..." movies (the third one)
  • the two castaways after their freighter exploded - Jeff Peters (Bing Crosby) and Orville 'Turkey' Jackson (Bob Hope) - drifting on a raft, and then riding a two-humped camel in the desert, while singing the title song
  • the wacky sequences of both Jeff and Orville trying to romance Arabian Princess Shalmar (Dorothy Lamour) in her palace, and their dialogue about rescuing her: (Jeff: "We must storm the place," Orville's response: "You storm. I'll stay here and drizzle")
  • the few instances of Bob Hope appearing in drag, through superimposition, as the heavenly ghost of his Aunt Lucy, and the one instance that a magic ring transformed him into a jumping monkey when he offhandedly spoke: ("Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle!")
  • the sequence of Jeff and 'Turkey' hiding in pillars from jealous Sheik Mullay Kassim (Anthony Quinn), and nodding their heads up and down, when a fly landed on 'Turkey's' nose
  • the desert mirage sequence, in which the three stars sang "Moonlight Becomes You" - mixing up each other's voices
  • the scenes of the wise-cracking talking camel(s) with animated lips, and at one point, the male camel's aside spoken to the audience: "This is the screwiest picture I was ever in"
  • the famed ending, when the trio (including 'Turkey''s energetic love interest, handmaiden Mihirmah (Dona Drake)) were floating in New York harbor on fragments of a luxury liner and 'Turkey' was overacting: ("I can't go on! No food, no water. It's all my fault. We're done for! It's got me. I can't stand it! No food, no nothing! No food, no water! No food!"); after Jeff reprimanded him: ("What's the matter with you, anyway? There's New York. We'll be picked up in a few minutes"), 'Turkey' delivered the film's final line, a lament - and running gag throughout his entire career: ("If you hadn't opened your big mouth and ruined the only good scene I got in the picture, I might have won an Academy Award!")

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975, UK/US)

  • wholesome Brad Major's (Barry Bostwick) musically-vocal proposal ("Dammit Janet") to Janet Weiss (Susan Sarandon)
  • the dramatic entrance of fishnet and heels-wearing Dr. Frank N. Furter (Tim Curry) while singing "Sweet Transvestite"
  • Eddie's (Meat Loaf) escape from cryogenic freezing (singing "Hot Patootie") and his subsequent axe-murder by Frank
  • the dual scenes of Frank's seduction of Brad and Janet, and Janet's seduction of bi-sexual Rocky (Peter Hinwood) while singing "Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me" as they were spied upon by Columbia (Laura "Little Nell" Campbell) and Magenta (Patricia Quinn) with a video monitor
  • the major production number "The Time Warp" - followed by Brad's clueless suggestion: "Say, do any of you know how to Madison?"
  • the exclamation of names in the dialogue following the discovery of Janet and Rocky making love: ("Janet!" "Dr. Scott!" "Janet!" "Brad!" "Rocky!", etc.)
  • Janet's  unexpected piping in: "I'm a muscle fan!" during Dr. Frank N. Furter's reprise of "I Can Make You a Man" (to the shock and dismay of both Frank and Brad)
  • the floor show in an empty theater in front of an RKO Pictures logo as Frank crooned: ("Whatever happened to Fay Wray...")
  • the finale with Magenta (with a Bride of Frankenstein hairdo) and Riff Raff (Richard O'Brien) revealing themselves to be incestuous siblings from outer space

Roman Holiday (1953)

  • in this charming romantic comedy, runaway Princess Ann (Audrey Hepburn), during a goodwill tour of Europe, rebelled against her sheltered life and royal obligations, escaped the insulated confines of her royal prison, and found a 'Prince Charming' commoner - American journalist-reporter Joe Bradley (Gregory Peck) covering the royal tour in Rome; during their first night together, he did a double-take when she asked with a regal command: "Will you help me get undressed, please?"; after hesitating a moment and being taken aback, he removed one small article of clothing - her necktie; then, he poured himself a glass of wine and rapidly downed it; she innocently added: "This is very unusual. I've never been alone with a man before - even with my dress on. (She began unbuttoning and removing her blouse) With my dress off, it's most unusual. I don't seem to mind. (She gazed directly at him.) Do you?"
  • in the 'Mouth of Truth' stone sculpture scene, Joe pulled his arm out of the mouth of an ancient carving - he pulled back what appeared to be an empty sleeve (to pretend that he had his arm bitten off), jolting his young companion Princess Ann into surprise, anger, and hilarious laughter all at the same time

Romy and Michele's High School Reunion (1997)

  • the early scenes of the interplay between two long-time friends - both carefree, ditzy LA airheads who lived together in a fourth-floor walk-up in Venice: vapid blonde S. Californian Romy White (Mira Sorvino) and empty-headed Michele Weinberger (Lisa Kudrow)
  • after the opening credits, their watching of Pretty Woman: "Even though we've watched Pretty Woman like 36 times, I never get tired of making fun of it", and reminiscing about their high school years while looking through a yearbook
  • Romy's description of her diet to lose weight: "I have been trying this new fat free diet I invented. All I've had to eat for the past six days are gummy bears, jelly beans, and candy corns"
  • the scene of the two dancing at the club by themselves (Saturday Night Fever-style), when Michele suggested that they have sex together to see if they were lesbian, and Romy responded: "Just the thought of having sex with another woman creeps me out. But if we're not married by the time we're 30, ask me again"
  • Romy's encounter with her co-worker Ramon (Jacob Vargas) at the Jaguar dealership where she worked, when she pretended that she was orgasming behind closed doors and that she admired his penis, in order to borrow his expensive Jaguar, although at first she told him: "I'm not gonna have sex with you just to borrow your stupid car" but then suggested: "Close the blinds and we'll work something out...Ohh, Ramon! Ohh, Ramon! Ohh! Oh, yes. Mi Capitan, Mi Amor. You are Columbus, and I am America. Discover me, Ramon! Just discover me.... Explosions! The earth is moving!...Is that an earthquake? No, it's Ramon! Ahh! It's Ramon!"; When he suggested: "Man stallion, fill me with your giant love wand!" Romy responded: "What? No, I'm sorry. I don't think so." Ramon: "Well, say something nice about my penis!" Romy: "Oh, Ramon, your penis is so powerful. I'm coming! Okay, thanks. Get off me now"
  • Romy's ludicrous request at a truck-stop for lunch - "some sort of businesswoman's special" - and the waitress' response: "We don't have anything like that"
  • the bragging monologue (a faux, tasteless successful business-woman tale told at Sagebrush High School's 1987 ten-year reunion in Tucson, Arizona) to the A-listers about how overdressed losers Romy and empty-headed Michele invented the glue for Post-It Notes: (Romy: "I invented Post-Its" and Michele: "Um, I invented Post-Its. Actually I invented a special kind of glue....Um, well, ordinarily when you make glue, first you need to thermoset your resin and then after it cools you mix in epoxide, which is really just a fancy-schmancy name for any simple oxygenated adhesive, right? Then I thought maybe, just maybe, you could raise the viscosity by adding a complex glucose derivative during the emulsification process - and it turns out I was right")

Roxanne (1987)

  • the marvelous verbal retort/monologue comeback scene in a crowded bar-room in which long-nosed, witty, modern-day love-lorn Cyrano de Bergerac - small-town Washington State fire chief Charlie C. D. Bales (Steve Martin) - challenged a boorish, obnoxious, and drunk bully who had called him "Big-Nose", and suggested twenty better, more imaginative nasal insults for his own oversized nose: ("Let's start with, uh, Obvious: Excuse me, is that your nose, or did a bus park on your face;
    Meteorological: Everybody take cover, she's going to blow!;
    Fashionable: You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger, like Wyoming;
    Personal: Well, here we are, just the three of us;
    Punctual: All right, Dellman, your nose was on time, but you were fifteen minutes late;
    Envious: Ooh, I wish I were you. Gosh, to be able to smell your own ear;
    Naughty: Pardon me sir, some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away;
    Philosophical: You know, it's not the size of a nose that's important, it's what's in it that matters;
    Humorous: Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Sneeze and it's goodbye Seattle;
    Commercial: Hi, I'm Earl Scheib, and I can paint that nose for $39.95!
    Polite: Uh, would you mind not bobbing your head? The, uh, orchestra keeps changing tempo.
    Melodic: Everybody. 'He's got the whole world, in his nose';
    Sympathetic: Ooh, what happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God?;
    Complimentary: You must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on;
    Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the tides?;
    Obscure: Whoa, I'd hate to see the grindstone! Well, think about it.
    Inquiring: When you stop and smell the flowers, are they afraid?
    French: Sir, ze pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave!
    Pornographic: Finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once! How many is that?...
    Religious: The Lord giveth - and He just kept on giving, didn't He?
    Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose hair?
    Paranoid: Keep that guy away from my cocaine!
    Aromatic: It must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee - in Brazil.
    Appreciative: Oooh, how original! Most people just have their teeth capped...All right,
    Dirty: Your name wouldn't be Dick, would it? You smart-assed son-of-a-bitch! Flat-faced, flat-nosed, flat-head")

Rushmore (1998)

  • an unusual comedy about an improbable love triangle between precocious 15 year-old 10th grade private school student Max Fischer (Jason Schwartzman) in Houston, his befriended depressed local steel factory millionaire/magnate and jaded mentor Herman Blume (Bill Murray), and Rushmore Academy's recently-widowed first-grade teacher Ms. Rosemary Cross (Olivia Williams)
  • the various acts of revenge between Blume and Max: bees placed in Blume's hotel room, Blume running over Max's bicycle, and Max tinkering with the brakes on Blume's car

Ruthless People (1986)

  • unscrupulous fashion designer and wealthy California businessman Sam Stone's (Danny De Vito) opening monologue to his mistress Carol (Anita Morris) about why he married his vulgar and hated wife Barbara (Bette Midler), and his thoughts about murdering her: "Her father was very, very rich, and very, very sick. The doctors assured me he'd be dead any minute. There wasn't a second to lose! I rushed right out and married the boss's daughter. He was so sick, it was like the Angel of Death was sitting in the room with him, watching the clock. They pulled the plug on him. He wheezed and shook for about an hour, and then he stabilized. The son-of-a-bitch just got older and sicker. And older, and sicker, and older and sicker!...I couldn't wait around any longer. I went out and made my own fortune. The old fart hung in there for fifteen years. Finally died of natural causes. I want the rest of that money! His money, her money, it's my money! I had to live with that squealing, corpulent little toad all these years. God, I hate that woman. I - I - I hate the way she licks stamps! I hate her furniture! And I hate that little sound she makes when she sleeps. Ugh! And that filthy little s--tbag dog of hers - Muffy !...I'm looking forward to it. My only regret, Carol, is that the plan isn't more violent"
  • Sam's joy and celebration at the news of the kidnapping of his wife, singing "Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, Zip-a-dee-ay" while visiting his Carol and opening a bottle of champagne: "It's inspired! Imagine, someone demanding money from me to keep Barbara alive. Unbelievable! Idiots! Come on, let's have a drink....I can't stay long. I've gotta get back and look sad...I got news for you, Carol. That woman ain't comin' back... (toasting) For you, my cupcake. To the kidnappers. To the future Mrs. Sam Stone. Whoops! I gotta run. I'm sorry, honey. I was hopin' we'd have time for a little poke in the whiskers....I'll take a rain check, and a few of these bonbons"
  • Barbara's comment about her amateurish kidnappers during an escape attempt: ("Nice faces. Nice easily identifiable faces!") and her abuse of them, including her tearful reaction to her ransom dropping from $500,000 to $10,000: ("I'm being marked down? What is this - the bargain basement? I've been kidnapped by K-Mart!")
  • Police Chief Henry Benton's (William G. Schilling) video of having sex with a prostitute in his car being shown on a department store's rows of televisions (an offscreen woman cried out: "That's my husband!")
  • Sam's desire to have his wife killed by the kidnappers: ("The last time we spoke you said my wife would be in the morgue if I didn't pay. Well, I didn't pay and just today I was at the morgue and she wasn't there. You lied to me! You know what I think of you?...You got no nuts! What do I have to do? Put a gun in your hand, aim and pull your finger down - you spineless wimp! I dare you to kill her!")
  • Barbara's over-the-top desire for revenge against her husband - castration: ("His testicles! I want his testicles!")
  • the scene of Ken Kessler (Judge Reinhold) selling really hot and gigantic stereo speakers in "the big room" to a teenaged metalhead customer who couldn't afford it: ("The flagship of the entire Dominator line, DMX-10. I have a pair of these myself. Thirty inches of thigh-slapping, blood-pumping, nuclear brain damage!...That's the bitchin' part about it! It don't matter! If you can't afford it, F--KIN' FINANCE IT! So what if it's as big as a Subaru and costs as much? You'll never have to trade this in! This is gonna be with you for the rest of your life! And when you die, they can BURY you in it!")
  • Barbara's faking of torture while her amateurish kidnappers phoned Sam and simulated the sound of her skin frying as they pressed down on a tofu-burger on the stove
  • Lt. Walters' (Clarence Felder) remark to Lt. Bender (Art Evans) about bumbling, dim-witted blackmailing Eart Mott (Bill Pullman): ("This could very well be the stupidest man on Earth. Perhaps we should shoot him"), while Bender was shouting on a bull-horn: ("GIVE THE BAG TO BOZO, DROP THE GUN, AND PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR...IT'S THE POLICE DEPARTMENT..." Earl: "Really?" Walters: "NO! WE'RE THE NATIONAL RIFLE ASSOCIATION!")
  • the final scene, after the reunion of Sam and Barbara at the dock and the solving of the case, when Barbara began to assault him (and tossed him in the water), while two detectives congratulated themselves and talked about the couple's close relationship: (Walters: "I hope my marriage is as strong as theirs after 15 years. I can't believe we doubted Stone's affection for his wife" Bender: "Yeah, we almost blew it. Thank God she's alive. You know ol' buddy, you work, you put in long hours. It's a tough beat. But it all seems worth it when you get a moment like this." Walters: "Yeah, I love a happy ending")

Greatest Funniest Movie Moments and Scenes
(alphabetical order, by film title)
Intro | A1 | A2 | B1 | B2 | C | D | E-F | G | H-I | J-K-L
M1 | M2 | N-O | P1 | P2 | Q-R | S1 | S2 | T | U-V-W-X-Y-Z

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