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Romancing the Stone (1984)
In Robert Zemeckis' ultimate cliff-hanger and tongue-in-cheek
romantic action-adventure film - a rousing, Indiana Jones-type treasure
hunt for a valuable "stone" (a
giant emerald) named "El Corazon" (The Heart) in South
America - it was followed by the similar sequel, the romantic adventure
comedy The Jewel of the Nile (1985):
- the film's funny opening prologue - a Western storybook
tale featuring sexy blonde Angelina (Kymberly Herrin, Playboy Playmate
March 1981), who was being assaulted by evil villain Grogan
(Ted White) who threatened her life and demanded sex: ("So,
you can die two ways, Angel: quick like the tongue of a snake,
or slower than the molasses in January"), but as she undressed,
she threw her hidden knife on her upper thigh at him and killed
him; she departed (to the theme music from How The West Was
Won), but when Grogan's
three brothers appeared on horseback, she was saved by sexy cowboy
hero Jesse (Bill Burton); she thankfully kissed him and rode off
with him: ("...But suddenly, there he was, my beloved Jesse. He was the one man I
trusted - the only man. My heart leapt as I watched him ride near.
I could barely wait to feel the warmth of his touch. At the moment
his lips met mine. I knew that we would never again be apart. I
knew then that we would spend the rest of our lives together. Forever")
Western Storybook Prologue
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Angelina (Kymberly Herrin)
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Angelina With Jesse
(Bill Burton)
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Joan's Typewritten Story Manuscript
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- the character
was the heroine of one of the books written by romance-starved,
lonely, best-selling romance novelist Joan Wilder (Kathleen Turner)
in her New York (on West End Ave.) apartment (with her cat named
Romeo); the writer was at her IBM Selectric typewriter finishing
up her latest fictional book (with headphones) - crying and fantasizing
that she was the strong-minded Angelina - living vicariously through
her own stories - and looking for her own "Jesse": ("Here's looking
at you, Jesse. Whoever you are")
- on her way to a business meeting, Joan
was handed a newly-arrived, oversized envelope from an elderly neighbor
Mrs. Irwin (Eve Smith) - it had been mailed from her brother-in-law
Eduardo Quinones in Colombia (South America) to himself - using
her address [Note: He was murdered just after mailing the envelope]
- while Joan was away, a dark stranger (later identified
as Colonel Zolo) confronted her building's janitor-supervisor
in her 3rd floor hallway and knifed him to death - and then ransacked
Joan's apartment (off-screen)
- during the meeting in a bar, Joan presented the
draft of her latest manuscript to her editor-publisher Gloria Horne
(Holland Taylor), who was distracted by proposing male match-making
for the writer (but Joan preferred someone more like her literary
hero Jesse: "I know that there is somebody out there for me");
Joan mentioned that her grieving sister Elaine
(Mary Ellen Trainor) was still in Colombia searching for the body
of her recently-murdered husband Eduardo
- in the next scene set in Cartagena, Colombia, Elaine
was knocked unconscious in the head in her villa's alleyway with
a bola and her red sports-car convertible was stolen; she was driven
to kidnappers led by two villainous, wisecracking, greedy, illegal
American treasure hunters: Ralph (Danny DeVito in a star-making
role) and his crocodile-loving, almost-bald cousin Ira (Zack Norman),
an importer
- upon arriving in her damaged apartment, Joan received
a frantic, unexpected phone call from her abducted sister Elaine
in South America - who was threatened at knifepoint by Ralph and
Ira; the kidnappers demanded that she travel to the coastal city
of Cartagena (Colombia), and at the Hotel Cartagena turn over the
just-delivered treasure map (known as "El
Corazón" (translated
'The Heart')) as ransom - to free Elaine and save her from torture
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Joan's Treasure Map: "El Corazon"
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Elaine Abducted by Ralph and Ira
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Joan Ordered to Travel to Cartagena
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- at the chaotic airport in Colombia, the ill-prepared
Joan was deliberately given faulty directions by menacing, shady,
corrupt and despicable Colonel Zolo (Manuel Ojeda) who was
trailing her; Ralph (who was there to also follow her) saw that
Joan boarded the wrong bus; on a remote road, she
distracted the Spanish-speaking driver (Camilo García)
of the coach and caused a major crash; the bus plowed
into a parked Land Rover
- in the aftermath of the accident, she was
saved from a gun-wielding Zolo who demanded the map, by the owner
of the Rover - a soldier of fortune, exotic bird-collector, swashbuckling
daredevil and drifter-mercenary named Jack T. Colton (Michael Douglas);
after several blasts from Colton's gun, Zolo fled for his life,
and soon after commandered Ralph in his white Renault 4L on a jungle
road to take him to his private military police forces; Zolo was
the head of Colombia's secret police
- Colton angrily rummaged through his destroyed vehicle
and threw out a couple of things, including a Playboy Magazine
(July 1983 issue) and a picture of his dream sailboat; Joan
claimed her destination was Cartegena and needed a payphone; he bargained
("Now I ain't cheap, but I can be had") and she agreed to pay him
$375 dollars worth of traveler's checks - American Express - to
assist her to get out of the jungle and seek help, but he refused
to carry her luggage
- the film's main plot line was the
action-filled, joke-rich repartee between Jack and Joan while experiencing
dangers from all sides in South American Colombia
- during a torrential downpour, the two slid down
into a ravine on a river of mud, and Jack ended up face-first between
Joan's legs and howled with delight: "Oh, God damn it! What a ride,
huh? Whoo! Ha ha! I'm tellin' ya, this is turnin' out to be
one hell of a morning!"
- on a phone call to Ira from Colonel Zolo's police
HQ, Ralph explained how he and Ira were being blamed for the
death of Elaine's husband by Zolo - who was the actual murderer
- during Jack and Joan's flight through the jungle,
they were shot at and pursued by the corrupt Colonel and
his private military forces (and later also by Ralph and Ira);
Jack exclaimed: "Lady, you are bad news! What did you do? Wake
up this morning and say, 'Today, I'm gonna ruin a man's life'?";
he muttered to himself about his terrible luck: "God-damn it, I
knew I should've listened to my mother. I could've been a cosmetic
surgeon, five hundred thou a year, up to my neck in tits and ass";
she transversed a deep ravine by crossing a rickety bridge and
swinging on a vine, leaving Jack behind to defend them and eventually
catch up
- the
two discovered a wrecked cargo plane's fuselage (with the corpse
of the pilot hanging out of the cockpit), filled with bundles of
contraband marijuana;Joan again tried to
explain that she was in Colombia to help her widowed sister, but
Jack was disbelieving; when he looked in Joan's satchel for matches,
he saw her treasure map and realized the real danger they were
in; as he burned kilos of marijuana to keep warm, they sought shelter
in the plane throughout the night from more rain; he suggested
that they find the El Corazon treasure for themselves (and use
it as collateral bargaining power) rather than give up the map
as ransom for her sister, since they were in Cordoba Province where
the loot was located
- while conversing, Jack was distracted and looked
away - and she politely reprimanded him: ("Would you please do
me the courtesy of looking at me when I'm speaking to you?"); he saved
her from a poisonous bushmaster snake crawling near her by slashing
it with his machete - and she became nauseated; later while eating
the "very tasty" snake as his evening meal, Jack explained how
he had lost $15,000 dollars worth of birds in the crash
- as he told her his name for the first time (Jack
T. Colton), he delivered
a funny line of dialogue while reading a recent Rolling
Stone magazine dated September 9, 1982; he blurted out: ("Aw,
dammit man, the Doobie Brothers broke up! S--t! When did that happen?");
he told her a short history of his life, and how the crash had shattered
his ocean-loving dream of sailing around the world by himself;
he also told her that his middle initial stood for "trustworthy";
he delivered a follow-up line to his earlier quote: "Oh,
man, I'll tell ya. One hell of a morning has turned into a bitch
of a day!"
- the next day in a local outlaw village, Joan and
Jack were intimidated by drug-running thugs and their drug-lord Juan
(Alfonso Arau), an unfriendly bell-maker, who suddenly became more welcoming
in his hacienda-mansion when he recognized Joan as his favorite
book author 'Juanita Wilder'; trailed by Zolo and his men, Joan
convinced Juan to borrow his black, rugged
and armored 1982 4x4 Ford Bronco XLT (nicknamed "Pepe" or "Little
Mule"), to speed away in muddy streets from Zolo and his men
amidst gunfire; the three escaped across a
river via Juan's remote-controlled ramp
- in a meadow as they celebrated their escape,
Jack recognized one of the map's markers - a pitch-forked tree:
(known as "El Tenedor del Diablo",
the Devil's Fork); after being dropped off in a different town (where
Ralph immediately recognized them), Jack
rented a room in Hotel Blanquita for them and they celebrated in
the town's festival with dinner and dancing (with kisses); while
in bed with Joan that evening after making love, Jack expressed his
hope-dream to take Joan around the world with him on a luxury sailboat
he hadn't yet purchased; they both agreed to work together to find
the treasure (to use it as leverage to get her sister) and possibly
- in the future - split the treasure 50/50 to fulfill their dreams
The Beginnings of a Romance
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- the next day, they barely escaped from Zolo when
they unknowingly stole Ralph's car (he was asleep
in the back seat) to search for more treasure map landmarks (including
a roadside shrine); Joan realized a hidden clue in the map -- a
folded corner that revealed the location of a nearby waterfall
and cave where the treasure was marked with an X; a final clue
in the cave ("Leche de la Madre" or "Mother's
Milk") referred to a pool where white stalactites were dripping
whitish, milky water; in the pool, they found a straw-wrapped cloth
and uncovered a cheap, ceramic bunny statue - inside the cracked-open
porcelain figurine was "El
Corazon" -
the fabled large heart-shaped green emerald
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Joan's Discovery of the Map's Hidden Waterfall Clue
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The Bunny Figurine
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The Emerald Stone
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- suddenly, Ralph held
them at gunpoint, seized the emerald for himself, and ordered: ("Now
move it, before Batman comes home!"); outside, he accused Jack
of deceptively 'romancing the stone' away from Joan: ("Oh, I'm the
creep, huh? At least I'm honest. I'm stealing this stone. I'm not tryin'
to romance it out from under her")
- but then Colonel
Zolo and his men also arrived in vehicles and on horseback; there
was a back-and forth struggle for possession of the jewel-stone,
ending up with Jack reacquiring the jewel (from Ralph) and Joan
already with the map in her possession; both Joan and Jack floated
down a river in the Renault, tumbled over a waterfall, and jumped
to safety - but they were separated and unable to swim to
each other; they split up and agreed to reach Hotel Cartagena separately
- in the city of Cartagena, Joan took a night-time
water taxi (the 'Orca') to meet with Ira and his men at an abandoned
seaside fort; she went through with the earlier deal to trade the
treasure map, and was reunited with her sister Elaine; however,
Colonel Zolo appeared (with both Jack and Ralph as his captive
hostages) and took Ira prisoner; Zolo knew that the map was now
worthless, grabbed it, and burned it; Zolo then threatened to throw
Joan into a swampy marsh of crocodiles if she didn't reveal the
location of the emerald stone; Jack interjected that he had the
stone in a "safe place" (in the groin area of his pants);
he shook the stone from his pant
leg onto his boot, and kicked it in the air over to Zolo
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Zolo Threatening to Throw Joan into Crocodile Pit
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The Stone on Jack's Boot
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Zolo's Hand with Stone Chomped Off
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- in a startling scene, as
the Colonel reached out to clutch onto the much-sought-after
gigantic emerald in mid-air, the jaws of a man-eating crocodile
burst out of the water and chomped off his left hand; Jack
took the opportunity to grab a machine gun to initiate a gunfight
between Zolo's men, Ira's gang, and himself; Elaine fainted; ultimately
during the subsequent struggles, Ira escaped on his boat (leaving
Ralph stranded), and Jack (who had pursued the crocodile with the
emerald in its belly and had ahold of its tail), was forced to
let go of the creature and grab his gun in order to save Joan from
Zolo who approached her, and threatened with a knife: ("How
will you die? Slow like a snail? Or fast like a shooting star?")
- Joan was able to save herself
- she burned Zolo with his cigar, hit him with a piece of wood,
and pushed him backwards onto a gas lamp; as he charged toward
Joan with his back aflame, he crashed through a wooden grating
into the crocodile pit and was eaten alive (off-screen);
Jack embraced Joan, but when
he heard police-boat sirens, he kissed Joan goodbye as he assured
her: "You're gonna be alright, Joan Wilder - you always were,"
dove into the water, and again went after
the crocodile to fetch the stone; after they last parted, Jack
was presumed dead
- in the film's conclusion set back in New York sometime
later, newly-confident novelist Joan turned in her latest
"inspired" work to her editor-publisher; it was the story
of her adventures with Jack; Gloria looked upon it with very high
regard: (Gloria: "You are now a WORLD-CLASS hopeless romantic" Joan:
(correcting her) "No, hopeful. Hopeful romantic")
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Joan to Her Publisher:
"No, hopeful. Hopeful romantic"
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Returning to Apt. to See Sailboat Parked On Street
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- later as she was returning to her Manhattan
apartment building, Jack completely
surprised her when he reappeared with his new large
sailboat on a trailer parked on the street; they were reunited
when he lowered a ladder down the side and she climbed onboard
- she admired his crocodile boots that were shown in close-up; the
two exchanged lines about how the
crocodile that had swallowed the emerald died of "indigestion"
- Jack cut out the gem, then sold it and purchased a sailboat to voyage
around the world; he was wearing crocodile shoes, made from the dead
reptile -
Joan: "I like your boots."
Jack: "Yup, that poor old yellow-tailed guy. Developed a fatal
case of indigestion. He died right in my arms."
Joan: (dreamily, and in his arms) "I can't blame
him. If I were to die, there's nowhere else on Earth
I'd rather be."
Jack: "I couldn't stop thinking about you. I even
read one of your books."
Joan: (smiling) "Then you know how they all end."
Jack: "Yeah. Hi."
Joan: "Hi."
Joan and Jack Reunited Back in NYC
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- they romantically embraced
and hugged and shared a passionate closing kiss
on the boat as it was towed down the city boulevard --
she had found her "Jesse"
(the hero of her romance novels); the final revelation was that the
name on the stern of his boat was 'Angelina'
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Joan Wilder (Kathleen Turner) at Her Typewriter in Manhattan
The Treasure Map Package from Eduardo
Stranger (Colonel Zolo) in Joan's Apartment Hallway
Joan with Her Editor Gloria
Ralph (Danny DeVito)
Crocodile-Enthusiast Ira (Zack Norman)
Joan on the Wrong Bus in Colombia
Bus Crash into Land Rover
The Entrance of Jack T. Colton (Michael Douglas)
Mudslide: "This is turnin' out to be
one hell of a morning!!"
Jack and Joan Shot At and Pursued by Colonel Zolo's Police Forces
Shocking Discovery of Crashed Plane in Jungle
Distracting Bushmaster Snake Incident
Jack's Dream: To Sail Around the World Solo
Drug Lord Juan - Happy to Meet Author Joan Wilder
The Meadow with a Pitch-Forked Tree
Stealing Ralph's Car
In the Cave, Ralph Held Them at Gunpoint: "Now move it, before Batman
comes home!"
Ralph to Jack: "I'm not tryin' to romance it out from under her"
Over the Waterfall in the Renault
Joan Reunited with Sister Elaine in Exchange for Worthless Map
Jack Holding onto Crocodile's Tail
Zolo's 2nd Attack on Joan
Jack's Reassuring Kiss to Joan: "You're gonna be
alright, Joan Wilder"
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