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Romy and Michele's High School
Reunion (1997)
In director David Mirkin's buddy comedy and social
satire about two lightweight, superficial vapid LA blondes (played
as caricatures) who had very little to brag about, but reinvented
themselves to prepare for their 10th year HS reunion as they searched
for love and success - a female version of Dumb & Dumber (1994) with
a classic 1980s pop soundtrack:
- the film's opening - a long tracking shot from the
Pacific Ocean over the beach and into a
cramped, fourth-floor walk-up apartment in oceanside Venice, CA
- set to the tune of No Doubt's
"I'm Just a Girl"
- two long-time
friends - both carefree, ditzy LA airheads (Valley girls) lived
together: vapid blonde S. Californian Romy White (Mira Sorvino),
an LA car dealership cashier, and empty-headed Michele Weinberger
(Lisa Kudrow), an unemployed clothing designer
- after the opening credits, the two dim-wits were
seen in bed, watching Pretty Woman: "Even though we've
watched Pretty Woman like 36 times, I never get tired of
making fun of it";
during the shopping sequence, Romy mocked the film and made fun
of the snobby Beverly Hills saleslady: "Aw,
look, poor thing - they won't let her shop. Yeah - like those salesgirls
in Beverly Hills aren't bigger whores than she is"; Michele
gasped: "I just get really happy when they finally let her
shop"
- as they prepared to go out, Romy
described her current diet to lose weight:
"I have been trying this new fat-free diet I invented. All I've
had to eat for the past six days are Gummi bears, jelly beans, and
candy corns" - Michele responded: "God, I wish I had your discipline";
they complimented each other on looking cute: "This is like the cutest
we've ever looked" - without feeling conceited ("We're just being honest")
- the scene of the two at a dance night club - both
were dressed up inappropriately - Michele (in a turquoise mini-skirt
with a fur trimmed wrap) and Romy (in a leopard-patterned
mini-dress with a slick red coat); both without boyfriends, they
decided to dance together (as usual) (Saturday Night Fever-style)
to the beat of La Bouche's "Be My Lover," and "Staying
Alive";
Michele suggested that they have sex together to see if they were
lesbian, Romy responded: "Just the thought of having sex with
another woman creeps me out. But if we're not married by the time
we're 30, ask me again"
- at Romy's place of work, a Jaguar
dealership where she worked as a cashier, at the payment desk,
she met up with a former HS classmate - brash, vulgar and loud-mouthed
Heather Mooney (Janeane Garofalo) with black eye-shadow and black
clothing, now a successful business-woman (the inventor of Lady
Fair quick-burning cigarette paper), who informed Romy of their
impending ten-year HS reunion in Arizona, but was personally declining
to go: "I'd rather put this out in my ass"; after Romy mentioned
she lived with Michele, Heather remembered how Michele was
admired by geeky-dorky Sandy Frink (Alan Cumming), who had an unrequited
crush on her and always had to cover his embarrassing and obvious erection with
his notebook binder; Heather vehemently denied having a "thing"
with Sandy: "I did not have a 'thing.' I was very much in love
with him. Very much in love, and there's a difference"; she was
embittered by her nerdy high school years because of her cruel
classmates: "Why don't you tell everyone I said to go f--k themselves
for making my teen years a living hell?"
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Romy - Cashier at Jaguar Dealership
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Heather Mooney
(Janeane Garofalo)
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- that evening, Romy and Michele reminisced about
their uncomfortable high school years while looking through their
Roundup yearbook; there was a brief flashback of Heather sneaking
around a HS wall to have a cigarette, where she was teased and tormented
by a cowboy (Justin Theroux), who flicked his lit cigarette butts at
her; the two spoke of the controversy over having their yearbook picture
taken together; they also recalled how they weren't in any clique (the elite A group, the
B, or C group of nerdy science geeks) but were basically losers and had
nothing to brag about, even after a decade: (Romy: "Well,
you know, I'm not sure that we were really in a group. I think maybe
we were more like loners");
however, they considered themselves better than other losers; Michele
spoke about herself during their teen years: "You know,
even though I had to wear that stupid back brace and you were kind
of fat, we were still totally cutting edge"
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Yearbook Photo: Weinberger and White
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Together 10 Years Later - Still Considering Themselves
Losers
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10 Years Earlier - Weirdos Envious of the A Group
Members
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- during a series of short
flashbacks, Romy and Michele remembered how they
were ostracized most of the time by the A group of students; they were
mistreated by popular head cheerleader
and stuck-up Christie Masters (Julia Campbell), her jock
athletic boyfriend Billy Christianson (Vincent Ventresca), and her
friends Kelly (Kristin Bauer) and Lisa (Elaine Hendrix); even so, Romy
recalled how she was infatuated with Christie’s boyfriend
Billy, but was always rejected; their clothes were judged as hideous:
("They made them in Home Ec from their own patterns"), they recalled
that once during lunch break, Christie attached refrigerator magnets
to Michele's squeaky back brace (for scoliosis) and took a bite
out of the burger Romy was eating
- Romy remembered fondly how she lost weight for the
senior prom dance: "I was so lucky getting mono. That was like
the best diet ever"; the two attended together, dressed up like
Madonna; other outcast classmate attendees included overweight, braces-wearing,
over-eager and annoying Toby Walters (Camryn Manheim) and dweeby
Sandy Frink; during the dance after being rejected by Sandy, Heather
verbally assaulted the Cowboy: "Why
are you tormenting me? Why don't you go f--k a sheep, or your sister,
or YOURSELF? Braindead redneck asshole!"
- during the long prom flashback, Romy
had a dirty trick played upon her (she was led to believe by newly-crowned
prom queen Christie that prom king Billy had dumped her, and was
interested in her); however, Romy was deceived (Christie and Billy
rode off on his motorcycle) and she was left forlornly waiting on
the dance-floor - she collapsed to dance in Michele's arms to the
tune of Cyndi Lauper's "Time
After Time"
- the two decided to "blow them away" by attending their
10th reunion, although they had to cross one hurdle - filling out
a reunion questionnaire about their lives (as they sat in a laundromat);
Romy began to wonder if they really were unimpressive losers: "Now
that I'm looking at this, our lives don't seem as impressive as I
thought....Well, do you think it's impressive
that we're still single, and we've been living together for ten years,
and I'm a cashier and you're unemployed?...Well, then, what's the
point of going if we're not going to impress people?"; they realized
they were lacking "better jobs and boyfriends," and also needed to
lose weight with increased exercise in just two weeks
- the sequence of Romy's sexy manipulation of dealership
co-worker Ramon (Jacob Vargas), the randy service manager, in order
to borrow his expensive XTS Jaguar convertible to arrive in style at
the reunion; at first she told him: "I'm
not gonna have sex with you just to borrow your stupid car" -
but then suggested: "Close the blinds and
we'll work something out..."; she
pretended that she was having an orgasm and that
she admired his penis, while making sexy sounds: "Ohh, Ramon! Ohh,
Ramon! Ohh! Oh, yes. Mi Capitan, Mi Amor. You are Columbus, and I
am America. Discover me, Ramon! Just discover me.... Explosions!
The earth is moving!...Is that an earthquake? No, it's Ramon! Ahh!
It's Ramon!"; when he suggested: "Man stallion, fill me with your giant love
wand!", Romy responded: "What? No, I'm sorry. I don't think so." Ramon:
"Well, say something nice about my penis!" Romy: "Oh,
Ramon, your penis is so powerful. I'm coming! Okay, thanks. Get off
me now"
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Romy at the Car Dealership
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Co-Worker Ramon (Jacob Vargas)
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Faking Sex
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- upon returning home with the fancy car,
Romy fibbed to Michele: "I had to give everyone in the service department
hand jobs" - and when Michele didn't even question it; Romy asked:
"Do you actually think I would do something like that? For a car?
OK, just get in" - they took off for Tucson to the tune of "Footloose,"
although the car continued to backfire
- the sequence of Romy and Michele's road trip to attend
their Sagebrush High School's 1987 ten-year reunion in Tucson, Arizona,
pretending to have sophisticated, educated, entrepreneurial careers;
at Crazy Billy's truck-stop enroute, Romy and Michele were dressed
in business attire and made a ludicrous request for a to-go
lunch special order: "Some sort of businesswoman's special"
- the perplexed waitress (Pat Crawford Brown) responded: "We
don't have anything like that"; Romy changed the order:
"Well, then, why don't you just give us,
uhm, two burgers and fries and Diet Cokes 'cause we're in a hurry"; they
couldn't answer her question: "What kind of business you in?"
- during the trip, they decided to claim that
they invented Post-it Notes together - but then began to argue over
the details; Romy wanted to boast that the invention was totally
her idea, while Michele had only decided, as a designer, upon the
yellow color; the two had a major falling out and disagreement as
they stopped the car and confronted each other about their "cuteness-wise":
(Michele: "It's, like, common knowledge, Romy. Everybody thinks
so. I'm the Mary, and you're the Rhoda" - and Romy's retort: "That's
ridiculous. YOU'RE the Rhoda. You're the Jewish one!");
they decided to call off their friendship: Romy: "When we get to
Tucson, we're going our own separate ways"
- at the Tucson hotel where the reunion was held, Romy
entered in a dark suit to impersonate a successful
business-woman [Note: It was later revealed that Romy had entered by
herself, and had left a sleeping Michele in the car
parked outside.]
- DREAM SEQUENCES (start): in front of Billy Christenson, Romy bragged about
her singular invention of Post-Its; at the same time, Michele confronted
and criticized a group of four former A-list teen queens, particularly
Christie for becoming a 5:00 o'clock TV weather girl; then, Michele
qualified her initial statement that she had invented Post-Its by
claiming that she had discovered the complicated formula for the "miracle" glue
for the Notes: ("Um, I invented Post-Its. Actually, I invented a special kind of glue....
Uhm, well, ordinarily when you make glue, first you need to thermoset
your resin and then after it cools, you mix in epoxide, which is
really just a fancy-schmancy name for any simple oxygenated adhesive,
right? Then I thought maybe, just maybe, you could raise the viscosity
by adding a complex glucose derivative during the emulsification
process - and it turns out I was right")
DREAM: Arrival at the Reunion
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Romy to Billy: "I invented Post-Its"
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At the Reunion - The Group of Former A-Listers
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Michele: "I invented a special kind of glue"
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- DREAM SEQUENCE: meanwhile, Romy flirted with Billy
out in the parked Jaguar, while Michele was accidentally struck by
a white Mercedes-Benz stretch limousine, and became reacquainted
with Sandy Frink - now "dreamy" (with a new face), attractive and
wealthy; she lost her top while kissing him, at the same time that Romy succeeded
in catching Billy's romantic attention away from Christie; the newly-competitive
Romy and Michele both won the recognition of the "Most Changed for
the Better Since High School" - and were congratulated by their new
paramours and driven away - separately
- DREAM SEQUENCE: Michele experienced a flash-forward
fantasy dream sequence to 70 years later - she was with her very
elderly husband Sandy; during a phone-call with Romy on her deathbed
(while living with Billy Jr.), the two began
to argue in the same fashion as in their younger days (their Mary
and Rhoda conversation); Romy's extreme upset induced a fatal heart-attack,
and as she died, she flipped Michele the middle finger
DREAM: Flash-Forward 70 Years Later
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Michele with Sandy
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Romy on Deathbed
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Romy Flipping Off Michele
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- DREAM SEQUENCES (end): [Note: Michele awoke in the
parked Jaguar and began swearing at the missing Romy: "Oh, we're
really here...Thanks for not waking me up, Romy. God, what a bitch"]
- over-dressed, Romy came up to three A-listers
led by Christie, and ineptly bragged about her Post-Its invention,
followed by snickering from the group; it was mentioned that Sandy
Frink was a billionaire who had made a real fortune for inventing
a special tennis shoe rubber; when the know-it-all Heather Mooney
unexpectedly arrived, she revealed that Romy had told a lie about
inventing Post-Its; Michele came to Romy's defense, and was greeted
as "back-brace girl"
- Michele criticized the three
A- listers for getting fat: ("What are you picking on us for
anyway? We are NOT the ones who got fat"), including Christie,
who then stated that they were pregnant: ("We're pregnant, you
half-wit")
- Michele and Romy made up with each other and decided
to be friends, but then, they were humiliated in front of the entire
audience for their false claim; Romy retreated to the rest room with
Michele and confessed: "All I ever wanted
was for people to think that we were better than we were in high school.
And now we're just a stupid joke, just like we always were"
- Michele
suggested they just be themselves and have a good time without worrying
about others; they quickly changed
into their bright-colored, home-made mini-dresses, and strutted back
into the reunion between a gauntlet of onlookers - to the tune of Bananarama's
"Venus" - the two approached the A-listers and Romy told Christie off: "What
the hell is your problem, Christie? Why are you always such
a nasty bitch? Do you get some kind of sick pleasure |from torturing
other people? I mean, yeah, okay, so Michele and I did make up some
lame story! We only did it because we wanted you to treat us like human
beings. But you know what I finally realized? I don't care if you like
us 'cause we don't like you. You're a bad person with an ugly heart
- and we don't give a flying f--k what you think!"
- when Christie criticized their outfits as "hideous," ex-A-Group
member Lisa Luder (Elaine Hendrix) - a successful VOGUE fashion editor,
declared that she actually really liked their outfits: ("They've
got nice lines. A fun, frisky use of color. All and all, I'd have
to say they're really - NOT BAD!")
- with great fanfare - to the tune of Robert Palmer's
"Bad Case of Loving You," Sandy Frink arrived at the reunion in his
own private helicopter (not in a limousine as in Michele's dream);
he immediately pursued Michele (telling her: "You still take my
breath away"); he non-chalantly mentioned all the benefits of being
successful and rich: "If, to you, success means having a house in
Aspen, one in Acapulco, a penthouse in New York, a mansion in Malibu,
a 60-foot yacht, an eight-seat Windstar, a Bell Jet Ranger, a Bentley,
a personal trainer, a full-time chef, a live-in masseuse and a staff
of 24, then, yeah, I guess I am successful"; and then he dropped
a bombshell: "But no matter how much I accumulate, there's still
one thing I just don't have.... I don't have you, Michele. Will you
dance with me?"
- during Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time," Sandy,
Michele (with Romy) took to the dance floor for a very creative,
well-choreographed number while all the other attendees watched the
performance
- in the hallway, the Cowboy (his real name was Clarence)
held out a cigarette lighter for Heather and apologized for all of
his past behavior: "You
were right, I was a brain dead, redneck asshole. Though I never screwed
a sheep or my sister"; Heather quipped back: "Why not,
couldn't catch 'em?"; he admitted he was a jerk in high school
- and that he had a speech impediment problem (stuttering) and spoke
to very few people
- meanwhile, Romy sought revenge against
Billy (who revealed himself as an overweight, promiscuous father
and alcoholic, who was unhappily married to Christie, and in a dead-end
job as a drywall installer); when he suggested they get a hotel room
for sex, she promised to meet him there - but
then planned to leave him stranded and waiting; she gleefully told
Michele that she had finally settled the score: ("Now he's gonna
see what it feels like to wait")
- as Michele kissed Sandy, she quipped: "I'm so glad
you didn't bring your big notebook with you"; she and
Romy lifted off in Sandy's helicopter to return to Los Angeles in
style, while they were observed by the entire high-school reunion
class - to the tune of Belinda Carlisle's "Heaven is a Place on Earth";
the wind from the chopper lifted Christie's dress (to reveal her
pregnant belly) as she piteously called out for her husband Billy;
from above, Romy and Michele noticed Heather and the Cowboy making
out in the darkness of the perimeter of the hotel
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Michele's Kiss for Sandy
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In the Chopper
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Christie Calling Out for Billy - The Wind Caught Her
Dress
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- in the film's epilogue six months later, Romy and
Michele used money loaned to them by Sandy and had opened their own
fashion boutique (in their names) in LA, where their friend Heather
was shopping and trying on a white floral dress different from her
all-black outfits, although she thought: "This
dress exacerbates the genetic betrayal that is my legacy"; while
talking about helping Heather to explore other fashion options, Michele
mused: "For
me, though, it's like I've given birth to my own baby girl,
you know, only she's like a big giant girl who smokes and says 's--t'
a lot. You know?"
- the last exchange between Romy and Michele was typical
of their empty-headedness:
- "You know what, Michele?"
- "Huh?"
- "I think you are, like, the funnest person I know."
- "Me too. With you."
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Watching "Pretty Woman"
Michele Weinberger
(Lisa Kudrow)
Romy White
(Mira Sorvino)
Dressed Up to Go Dancing
At the Nightclub
Reminiscing About HS - Yearbook
Flashback: Heather and the Cowboy
Flashback: Their Main HS Rivals - Christie and Her Boyfriend Billy
Flashback: R&M at Senior Prom Dressed as Madonna
Flashback: Prom Attendees Toby and Sandy
Flashback: The Dirty Trick at Prom Played on Romy by Christie
The Reunion Questionnaire
The Jaguar Convertible
Ordering the "Businesswoman's Special" at a Truck Stop
Major Disagreement by the Side of the Road
DREAM: At the Reunion: Michele with Billionaire Sandy Frink
DREAM: Romy Congratulated by Billy For Winning "Most Changed" Award with
Michele
DREAM: Michele Congratulated by Sandy
Heather Deflating Romy's Lie About Post-Its
Michele's Critique of Pregnant A-Listers
Romy's Ultimate Telling-Off of Christie
Lisa Luder's Praise of R & M's Colorful Outfits: "They're really not
bad"
Sandy Frink's Triumphant Entrance into the Reunion (via Helicopter)
Sandy: "I don't have you, Michele. Will you dance with me?"
The Threesome's Dance
The Cowboy's Apologies to Heather
Romy's Revenge on Christie's Husband Billy
R&M in Their Own Boutique Store
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