The Greatest Guy Movies
of All-Time



Part 7


The Greatest Guy Movies of All-Time
Movie Title/Year and Brief Description, Including Great Quotes and Scenes
Screenshots

48 Hrs. (1982) (aka 48 Hours)

And Another 48 Hrs. (1990)

Director Walter Hill's profanity-filled action-comedy was one of the first buddy-cop films, years before Lethal Weapon (1987) and Rush Hour (2000). In this male-bonding film, Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy (21 years old and in his feature film screen debut while still a cast member of TV's Saturday Night Live) were paired as two bickering, 'odd-couple' buddy-cops: temperamental, hard-nosed, hard-drinking detective Jack Cates in his '64 Cadillac convertible and smooth-talking con Reggie Hammond. Both disliked each other immensely, with racial overtones, and ended up in a fistfight with each other in an alleyway.

Their insults were hostile: ("Now get this. We ain't partners, we ain't brothers, and we ain't friends" and "You're just a crook on a weekend pass! You're not even a goddamn name anymore! You're just a spearchucker with a number stenciled on the back of his prison fatigues! And I'm through f--kin' around. You tell me the truth or you're gonna get the living s--t beat outta you").

The film's title referred to the amount of time that Reggie had been released from prison in Jack's custody to track down cop killers named Albert Ganz and Billy Bear (James Remar and Sonny Landham), Reggie's former gang members - leading to a bloody finale.

"I'm your worst f--kin' nightmare, man: I'm a nigger with a badge - which means I got permission to kick your f--kin' ass whenever I feel like it!"

"...instead of bein' where I oughta be, home in bed with my gal givin' her the high hard one, I'm out here doin' this s--t: roamin' around the streets with an overdressed, charcoal-colored loser like you."

"I've been in prison for three years. My dick gets hard if the wind blows."

"I was great. Should have my dick bronzed."

The scenes of continual bickering between the couple, and the scene of Reggie entering a redneck bar and interrogating patrons with blustering attitude by pretending to be a cop: "I don't like white people... I hate rednecks. You people are rednecks, which means I’m enjoying this s--t!"



Porky's (1982)

Also Porky's II: The Next Day (1983), and Porky's Revenge (1985) (aka Porky's 3)

This crude, slapstick comedy and sexploitation film helped to launch the teen sex film, with scatological scenes and lots of gross-out, body-oriented jokes. The vulgar and distasteful coming-of-age sex comedy, attracting mostly male audiences worried about their virility or the size of their manhood, by writer/director Bob Clark told about several Florida high school (Angel Beach) boys in the 1950s, especially aptly-named Pee Wee Morris (Dan Monahan), who all sought to lose their virginity.

All of the females in this infantile film were objectified as sex objects or props for this comedy, to be spied upon or fantasized about from afar. In one of the scenes, horny gym teacher Ms. Honeywell (Kim Cattrall in an early role) was nicknamed "Lassie" because of her orgasmic howling during intercourse. Porky Wallace (Chuck Mitchell) was the name of the mean-spirited, redneck, good ol' boy corpulent owner of a popular biker/bar-brothel just across the county line, who tempted the underage boys and then scammed them. The film was the ultimate precursor to American Pie (1999) almost two decades later.

- "Jesus Christ. It's the Mother Lode!"
- "I've never seen so much wool. You could knit a sweater."
- "This has gotta be the biggest beaver shoot in the history of Florida."

"Is Mike Hunt here? Has anybody seen Mike Hunt?"

"What do you use for a jock strap, kid? A peanut shell and a rubber band?"

The "Peeping Tom" scene in the girl's shower-locker room, during which time Tommy (Wyatt Knight) placed his member through the spyhole, and gym coach Ms. Beulah Balbricker (Nancy Parsons) charged forward to make a painful two-handed grab. Also, the scene of sex-starved Pee Wee being stranded outdoors naked, and being confronted by the cops.





National Lampoon's Vacation (1983)

And other films in the series: European Vacation (1985), Christmas Vacation (1989), and Vegas Vacation (1997)

In this comedic road film, the always-clumsy and dim-brained husband Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) took his family cross-country in a gigantic pea-green "Wagon Queen Family Truckster" station-wagon with a broken-down engine, bound for California's theme park Wally World (unbeknownst to them, closed for repairs) - with all of their arduous misadventures:

  • becoming lost in East St. Louis where their hubcaps were stolen
  • sing-alongs in the car
  • visiting long-suffering wife Ellen's (Beverly D'Angelo) beer-swilling, hayseed cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid) in Kansas who ate Hamburger Helper without the meat
  • Eddie's young daughter Vicki (Jane Krakowski) bragging about French kissing: "Daddy says I'm the best at it " and also showing off a shoebox full of weed, while Eddie's son Dale (John Nevin) bragged: "I've got a stack of nudie books this high"
  • the parody of the Psycho (1960) shower scene
  • the death of Aunt Edna (Imogene Coca) enroute to Phoenix who was tied to the top of the station wagon
  • Clark's man-to-man talks with his son Rusty (Anthony Michael Hall)
  • Clark's encounters with a flirtatious and tempting vixen (blonde supermodel Christie Brinkley) in a passing red Ferrari and in a pool

After arriving in California, they raced to the entrance of Wally World (to the tune of "Chariots of Fire") only to be told by a Moose character that the park was closed, although they took security guard Lasky (John Candy) as hostage.

- "How do you like yours, Clark?"
- "Oh, medium rare, a little pink inside."
- "No, I mean your bun."

"I think you're all f--ked in the head. We're ten hours from the f--kin' fun park and you want to bail out! Well, I'll tell you somethin'. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much f--kin' fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our god-damn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of your assholes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy S--t!"

"You want me to strap her to the hood?...She'll be fine. It's not as if it's going to rain or something."

The vibrating bed scene.






Scarface (1983)

Director Brian De Palma's X-rated (then revised to R) crime film (with a script by Oliver Stone) starred "Godfather" actor Al Pacino as Tony Montana. It was a violent update of Howard Hawks' gangster classic Scarface: The Shame of a Nation (1932), soaked with blood and cocaine powder in a story of "Scarface's" rise from Cuban emigre-dishwasher to early 80s Miami drug lord - and his subsequent fall. Along the way, he acquired icy and slinky blonde cokehead trophy wife Elvira Hancock (Michelle Pfeiffer), who first appeared in a tight backless dress as she descended in a glass elevator.

The film's tagline was: "He loved the American Dream. With a Vengeance," and much of the film's imagery and language has been co-opted by gangster rap. Pacino's over-the-top, unrestrained and operatic portrayal of the monstrous crime lord in this morality tale included profanity-strewn dialogue, an incestuous liking for his sister Gina (Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio), and an excessive addiction to snorting mounds of white powdery cocaine. The film concluded with the bullet-ridden and coke-convulsed body of one-man army Tony Montana in a bloody standoff at his mansion with an M16, and his death by a point-blank shotgun blast in the back, sending him crashing down thirty feet to his indoor fountain below.

"In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the woman."

"I never f--ked anybody over in my life didn't have it comin' to 'em. You got that? All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don't break 'em for no one. Do you understand?"

- "Anything beats lying around all day waiting for me to f--k you, I'll tell ya that."
- "Don't toot your horn, honey. You're not that good."

"F--k 'em all! I bury those cock-a-roaches!"

"Can't you stop saying f--k all the time?"

"Say hello to my little friend."

The intense and controversial dismemberment scene during a bad drug deal in which Tony's friend Angel Fernandez (Pepe Serna) was chain-sawed to death (off-screen with bloody splattering and spray) while hanging by his wrists in a motel bathroom shower.






The Terminator (1984)

Also Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

This James Cameron-directed science-fiction action film was the first of three such films. It was set in post-apocalyptic 2029 Los Angeles and starred Arnold Schwarzenegger as an indestructible cyborg Terminator sent back from the future to 1984. The Terminator was an unstoppable, villainous Cyberdyne Systems model T-800 cyborg (with a humanoid, human tissue exterior and cold chromium/metallic, skeletal interior - and a death's head skull). His mission was to eliminate the future unborn son (an off-screen John Connor) of Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton). Kyle Reese (Michael Biehn), a member of the human resistance movement of the future, was also teleported back (by the future John Connor) to rescue and protect his mother - and father the child.

It was an exciting, well-paced action thriller with apocalyptic, monster, and adventure story elements. Schwarzenegger performed in a career-shaping role that would soon lead to many more formidable, box-office appealing characterizations in other 'guy' films in the mid to late 80s and into the 90s, such as: Commando (1985), Raw Deal (1986), Predator (1987), The Running Man (1987), Red Heat (1988), Total Recall (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), True Lies (1994) and Eraser (1996) (see some of these titles below).

"I'll be back."

"Listen, and understand! That Terminator is out there! It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead."

The scene in which the Terminator was transformed into a mechanical skeleton when his flesh and blood were stripped away in the course of his unstoppable pursuit - and the final demise of the Terminator when crushed in a hydraulic press.





Commando (1985)

This Mark Lester non-stop action film, the quintessential 80s action flick, was filled with explosions, views of muscle-bound abs and biceps, and fight scenes resulting in dozens of deaths. Arnold Schwarzenegger starred as retired US Special Forces elite commando John Matrix, engaged in a one-man mission to find and rescue his kidnapped pre-teen daughter Jenny (a young Alyssa Milano) from exiled and deposed Latin American dictator Arius (Dan Hedaya) and his henchman Bennett (Vernon Wells) (Matrix's former psychopatic subordinate), who threatened to kill the young girl by blackmailing Matrix into killing the present President of the country in exchange. In a race against time, Matrix, while spouting quips and deadpanned one-liners that were cruelly humorous, was aided by inept tough chick/stewardess Cindy (Rae Dawn Chong).

"I eat Green Berets for breakfast. And right now, I'm very hungry!"

"Don't disturb my friend. He's dead tired."

- "F--k you, asshole!"
(The gun clicked empty when the trigger was squeezed)
- "F--k you, asshole."

The climactic slaughter-assault and shoot-out on Arius' island hideout.



To Live and Die in L.A. (1985)

This unorthodox, violent crime thriller from writer/director William Friedkin, after his genre-defining The French Connection (1971), was about the pursuit of a counterfeiter - a sexually-ambiguous ex-convict named Eric "Rick" Masters (Willem Dafoe) by two US Secret Service agents:

  • Jim Hart (Michael Greene)
  • risk-taking Richard Chance (William Petersen)

After Chance's partner Hart, during a solo stakeout at Masters' desert warehouse, was murdered in cold-blood (a shotgun blast to the head) three days before his retirement (Hart had just said: "I'm getting too old for this shit" - a phrase co-opted later by Danny Glover in the Lethal Weapon films), he acquired a new, strait-laced partner John Vukovich (John Pankow). Chance obsessively vowed to get Masters by whatever means possible, including going rogue and breaking the law ("I'm gonna bag Masters, and I don't give a s--t how I do it!").

In order to get close to Masters, Chance impersonated a wealthy businessman, and convinced Masters' crooked, sleazy double-dealing lawyer Bob Grimes (Dean Stockwell) to work with him and other FBI agents to purchase some of the counterfeit money from Masters. The counterfeiter demanded a downpayment of $30,000 upfront to illustrate his legitimacy - $20K more than the agency allowed. Chance exploitatively obtained information from his sex-slave - a submissive parolee who worked as a check-in lady and cashier at a strip club, Ruth Lanier (Darlanne Fluegel) (with whom he had semi-regular sex and exhibited a full-frontal glimpse). She said that they could target an underworld courier Thomas Ling (Michael Chong) carrying $50K in cash (to trade for stolen diamonds) to obtain the funds. The problem was that the 'mule' was an undercover FBI agent who was killed during the daring robbery.

Thus followed a long car chase pursuit, between the armed FBI backup team and Chance (one of the robbers). In the final confrontation between Chance and Masters in a locker-room, the FBI agent (in an unlikely and unexpected plot surprise) was shot in the face and killed instantly by Masters' bodyguard Jack (Jack Hoar) (who also died from a chest wound). Vukovich pursued Masters to his printing warehouse, where the counterfeiter accidentally set himself ablaze, while Vukovich shot at his burning corpse. In the conclusion, Vukovich (who had symbolically become Chance) cynically told Ruth: "You're working for me now."

"Uncle Sam don't give a s--t about your expenses. You want bread? F--k a baker."

"Do you know you're livin' like a f--king animal in the zoo?"

The detailed and lengthy money counterfeiting sequence showing the methodical and authentic production of forged cash.

The well-choreographed chase on a crowded, rush-hour freeway, against the traffic down wrong-way lanes!




Ruth (Darlanne Fluegel)

Richard Chance
(William Petersen)



Greatest 'Guy' Movies Of All Time
(chronological, by film title)
Intro | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10
Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15


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