||Movie Title/Year and Scene
- the film debut of comedy rock satirist Weird Al Yankovic
- the character of Gandhi (Jay Levey) on Channel
62 (a failing local TV station), now portrayed as an action-hero,
II - seen in a commercial for the new TV show. (Announcer):
"Next week on U-62. He's back and this time he's mad. Gandhi
No more mister passive resistance. He's out to kick some butt.
This is one bad mother you don't wanna mess with...He's a one man
wrecking crew but he also knows how to party...There is only one
law, his law.
- the three elaborate and surreal fantasies of killing
suspected young, pretty and unfaithful wife Daphne (Linda Darnell)
who was thought to be cheating on him with his private secretary
Tony (Kurt Kreuger): murder, a noble sacrifice and Russian roulette
- dreamt up by jealous husband Sir Alfred De Carter (Rex Harrison)
while he conducted a classical concert symphony (to the music
of Rossini, Wagner, and Tchaikovsky)
- while his plans worked
perfectly in his mind, he stumbled and bumbled his way through
the preparations in real life to murder Daphne (the first fantasy
scenario) with a complicated home recording device in a slapstick
scene of the disastrous, real murder preparations
(Cheech & Chong's) Up
in Smoke (1978)
- the classic 'drug humor
flick' with funny dialogue between potheads Pedro De Pacas (Cheech
Marin) and Man Stoner (Tommy Chong): (Cheech: "Hey, how
am I driving, man?"
- Chong: "I think we're parked")
- their marijuana
smoke-filled, chick-mobile 'Love-Machine' van and gigantic-sized
joints, although earlier Stoner complained that the joints were
the size of toothpicks
- the "hitchhiking" scene,
when Man Stoner pretended to be a stacked female, and was picked
up by Pedro, who called him "double-bubble" but then realized
he had been tricked: "Hey, you ain't a chick!...Hey, that's false
- Pedro's screaming out: "I'm blind" - not realizing
that his cap was pulled over his eyes
- their search for ultimate highs, and frequent
toking in Pedro's car, filling it completely with smoke:
- Pedro: "What is in this s--t, man?"
- Man Stoner: "It's mostly Maui Wowie, man...but it's got some
Labrador in it."
- Pedro: "What's Labrador?"
- Man Stoner: "It's dog s--t...Yeah, my dog ate my stash, man.
I had it on the table and the little motherf--ker ate it, man....So
I had to follow him around with a little baggie for three days before I got it back. Really blew the dog's mind?"
mean we're smokin' dog s--t, man?"
- Man Stoner: "Gets ya high, don't it? I think it's even better than
before, you know?"
- Pedro: "Uhhh, I wonder what Great Dane
tastes like, man"
- the scene of the two stopped by an arresting officer,
and as the cop asked Man Stoner his name, he vomited into Pedro's
lap - who then answered: "Uuhhh - His name is RAALLLPH, man!"
- the van orgasm scene - Pedro listened as he heard
simulated orgasmic sounds coming from inside the rocking van;
when Man Stoner exited the van, he received a round of applause;
Pedro led him: "Make way for the new king. God-damn, you're a
star, man. Go ahead. After you, King Salami"
- the scene at the Mexican-US border, where Man
Stoner threw a giant joint into a nearby car filled with nuns,
who were apprehended, lined up and searched (evoking smiles),
while Sergeant Stedenko (Stacey Keach) was interviewed about
his objective: "Dope, drugs, weed, grass, toot, smack, quackers,
uppers, downers, all-arounders. You name it, we want it"
- the police dog's reaction after sniffing in their
green van ("Must be some heavy s--t")
- the "whatcha lookin' at man?" scene when Man Stoner
was questioned by Strawberry (Tom Skerritt) (who had a big red
patch on his right cheek and neck), and he responded:
"Oh, nothin'. I wasn't lookin'. I was just - I wasn't lookin'
at his neck"
- the scene of the duo at a police station speaking
over the radio dispatch to Sgt. Stedenko, and misinterpreting
his code-name "Hard-Hat" as "Lard Ass"
- the character of the Ajax Lady (June Fairchild),
who thought that Ajax Cleaner was a powdered drug and she snorted
a few lines
- their 'battle of the bands' rock concert performance
at LA's Roxy Theatre with Cheech dressed in drag in a pink tutu
and Chong as a red Quaalude
Vampire's Kiss (1989)
- the psychiatric counseling scene of hotshot Manhattan
yuppie literary agent Peter Loew (Nicolas Cage) speaking to his
therapist Dr. Glaser (Elizabeth Ashley) about being aroused more
by a bat than his date: "I brought this girl up to my place the
other night. Really hot, you know. And we're on the bed. And
suddenly, this bat comes swooping down out of nowhere...I'm fighting
this bat off all alone and I'll be damned if I didn't get really
- his fanatical and freaked-out outburst to Dr.
Glaser about the stupidity of misfiling by his new office secretary
Alva Restrepo (Maria Conchita Alonso): "How could somebody MISFILE
something? What could be easier? It's all alphabetical. You just
PUT it IN the right file according to ALPHABETICAL ORDER! You
know - A, B, C, D, E, F, G...H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P...Q, R,
S, T, U, V...W, X, Y, Z! Huh? That's ALL you have to DO!...I
never misfiled ANYTHING! Not ONCE, not ONE TIME!...I wanna know
really, WHO DID!"
- the scene of a one-night stand, when Peter was
bitten in the neck during love-making by vampirish Rachel (Jennifer
Beals) - turning him into an over-the-top creature
of the night and assuring him: "It's alright, it's alright.
You chose me"
- his abusive behavior towards Alva when he shouted
and berated her for not doing her job productively: "Am
I getting through to you, Alva?" - and then later, he again shouted
at her when she suggested getting someone else to do her job
and make it easier: "Alva, there is no one else in this entire
office that I could possibly ask to share such a horrible job.
You're the lowest on the totem pole here, Alva. The lowest. Do
you realize that? Every other secretary who's been here has been
here longer than you, Alva. Every one. And even if there was
someone here who was here just one day longer than you, I still
wouldn't ask that person to partake in such a miserable job as
long as you were around. That's right, Alva. It's a horrible,
horrible job. Sifting through old contract after old contract.
I couldn't think of a more horrible job if I wanted to. And you
have to do it. You have to. Or I'll fire you. Do you understand?
- the scene of Rachel's sexual domination of Peter
when she forced him to profess his love for her: "I hate interrupted
love affairs, don't you? How much nicer when the outside world
doesn't interfere with the pleasure. You were so right to put
yourself into my hands, Peter. The only one who can put you out
of your misery. Tell me how much you love me, my angel. Whisper
it to me. Just once. Please, just once. Oh, just once. I know
you do. I can read your mind, my love. I can see it in your actions.
You can't get through the day without thinking about me, can
you? Tell me you love me. Tell me" - and then he uncovered his
neck wound and permitted her to suck his blood
- the scene of the crazed Peter grabbing and eating
a live, squirming cockroach for breakfast
- his continual harrassment of Alva, now in the
backseat of a taxi-cab - when he told her: "It's horrible when
there are tensions between employer and employee. Sometimes the
pressures, you know, they just build up. Wait till you get into
a position of authority....You will, Alva. You're a very bright
girl. That's how I know that today, by God, is the day you're
gonna find that damned Heatherton contract....The
work's not just gonna go away, Alva. It never just 'goes away'.
THE GODDAMN CONTRACT IS SOMEWHERE IN THOSE GODDAMN F--KING FILES!"
- the scene of Peter - wearing fake teeth - phoning
his therapist Dr. Glaser to make an appointment to see her - and
then his catching and consumption of a live pigeon
- the blind date scene, arranged by Dr. Glaser,
between another patient named Sharon (Jessica Lundy) and Peter: "She
complains of exactly the same thing you do and personality-wise,
I think you two are made for each other. I should have matched
you two up long ago" - Sharon described her interests to
"I like poetry, horseback-riding, Vivaldi and long weekends
in the country"
- but then, Peter confessed
to a few of his major issues, in his delusionary mind: "I did rape
someone a couple of nights ago. A girl at the office. I just
lost control....Well, the fact is I did murder someone last night.
I turned into a vampire. It's a long story"; Dr. Glaser assured
him: "Would you stop worrying and just get on with your big romance....Get
out of here, the both of you. Have a wonderful life together
and I will take care of the cops"
- the conclusion in Peter's destroyed apartment
(where he had converted his
overturned sofa into a coffin-bed), when the hallucinatory Peter
became extremely annoyed and mad at an imaginary Sharon for continually
asking about his vampire transformation: "You don't let
up, do you, c--t? You just keep harping and harping over the
same goddam thing. 'Why did you become a vampire?' 'Why couldn't
you be normal?' 'Peter, does this mean we can never have children?'
...'cause there's no way in hell that I would ever, ever marry
a loud-mouth pig like you. In the ten minutes I'm with you and
the s--t just starts right up. What? What? You hate my guts?
You wanna go home? You wanna leave? Good. Fine. Get the hell
out of here, you f--king pig! Leave me the f--k alone! I really
can't handle these relationships. Maybe I should see a shrink" -
he attempted to put a wooden stake through his own heart, and
was assisted by Alva's enraged brother, who pushed the stake
in further and brought on Peter's death
- in 1930s Paris, the audition scene of frail,
impoverished soprano, Victoria Grant (Julie Andrews) whose high-pitched,
sustained note shattered a wine glass
- the restaurant scene when Victoria dined with
flamboyant, gay, middle-aged cabaret singer Carroll "Toddy" Todd
(Robert Preston), and to avoid paying for the meal, released a cockroach
and then told the waiter ("I'm sure it wasn't your fauIt
that your saIad had a cockroach in it") - and caused complete
- the plan of opera singer Victoria Grant and "Toddy" to
pass Victoria off as "Count Victor Grezhinski" -
a Polish drag queen and Toddy's new boyfriend: (Victoria: "A
woman pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman?")
- the over-the-top character
of ditzy, wild, uncontrollable, coarse, sex-starved blonde moll
Norma Cassady (Lesley Ann Warren) with her irksome voice ("Kiiiiiiiiing!
Pooooooooookie!") - and with her Chicago mob associate boyfriend
and nightclub owner King Marchand (James Garner); in
bed, she tried to warm up to King, but he was unable to have
sex with her anymore - she tried to assuage his feelings of inadequacy,
with a long malaprop about his impotence: ("Pookie.
It's no big deaI. It happens to everyone. Men, I mean. We're
Iucky. Women, I mean. We can fake it if we have to. Oh, oh, don't
get me wrong. I never have with you. Faked it, I mean. With you,
it's like - pow, pow, pow, Iike the Fourth of July! Every time.
Just tonight, because you couIdn't get it. Up till now it's been
grand, Pookie, really, really grand. And if there's one thing
I know for sure, you can't Iet it get you, you shouId excuse
the expression, down. You can't think about it. You just gotta
put it out of your mind. I mean, the more you think about it,
the more you worry. The more you worry, the more you think. Think,
worry. Good stuff. Worry, think. It just gets Iike a vicious
circIe. And then, before you know it, you are impudent");
and then she asked as he returned to the bedroom from the bathroom
- completely vexed by her and ready to wash her mouth out: "What's
with the soap?"
- Victoria's show-stopping production number "Le
Jazz Hot" in a black gown with stringy bat-wing sleeves
and a rhinestone headdress when she revealed herself as alter-ego
male Victor by ripping off her headdress
- Norma's defiant reaction
when cut loose by King and sent back to America - forced
onto a train by King's bodyguard Mr. Bernstein (Alex Karras)
aka Squash, when she opened her robe to reveal her skimpy bra,
underpants, and stockings, and was yelling: "Thinks he can
just push me around! Thinks I'm just gonna hop on the next boat
for the States and that'll be that! Well, you've got another
thing coming Mr. Big-shot Fairy Marchand! 'Cause Mrs. Cassidy's
little goil Norma ain't gonna take this one lyin' down! And don't
kid yourself! You ain't seen the last of me yet!"
- causing a distracted boarding passenger to stumble off the platform
- also Norma's saucy, sexy song-and-dance Chicago,
Illinois number with other showgirls in baby-doll underwear
- and Norma's hilarious one-liner
when she thought she was to be assaulted by clothes-stripping
Victor/Victoria Grant: "Wait a minute...lock
the door first" - and her reaction to Victoria's true sex
that she screeched at King: "You two-timing son-of-a-bitch!
HE'S A WOMAN!"
- the scene of hilariously
miscast and in drag Toddy performing Shady
Dame From Seville in place of Victoria, and his jokingly
bitter riposte to his chorus line when finished and claiming
it was his last performance: "You
were marvelous - and I never want to see any of you again!"
- the scene of Stan (Stan
Laurel) and Oliver's (Oliver Hardy) discussion about the deed
to the gold mine - delivered to the wrong woman: ("That's
the first mistake we've made since that guy sold us the Brooklyn
- their soft-shoe dance and song routine of
"At the Ball, That's All" while outside the Mickey Finn
- also the hilarious scene of Stan being cornered,
wrestled, and tickled to death in Lola's (Sharon Lynne) bedroom
when she recovered the stolen deed in his vest
- and Stanley's biting, chewing, and gulping pieces
of his hat after losing a bet - as Ollie helpfully reminded him: "You
said that if we didn't get the deed that you'd eat my hat",
and Stan's muttering: "Now you're taking me illiterally"
- and the rope-pulley scene using their mule Dinah
to get the rotund Oliver hoisted to the second floor of the saloon
to retrieve the deed
Wayne's World (1992)
- the original characters (spun-off and extended
from sketches on TV's Saturday Night Live): Wayne Campbell
(Mike Myers) and Garth Algar (Dana Carvey) - two metal-head friends
with their own local public-access TV show (broadcast from their
wood-paneled basement) in Aurora, Illinois ("a suburb of
Chicago - excellent")
- the scene of Wayne's introduction of himself (while
breaking the 'fourth wall'), when he described how he didn't
have a real career: "I
have an extensive collection of name tags and hair-nets. Ok, I
still live with my parents, which I admit is both bogus and sad.
But at least I've got an amazing cable access show, and I still know
how to party. But what I'd really love is to do Wayne's World for
a living. It might happen. Sh-yeah, and monkeys might fly outta my
- Wayne's discussion with his rock-singer Chinese
girlfriend Cassandra Wong (Tia Carrere), bassist vocal singer
for Crucial Taunt, who was upset about not getting a break:
(Wayne: "If you guys got a break, you could really make it" Cassandra:
"Yeah, and if a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass when
he hops" Wayne: "Interesting. Where did you learn English?" Cassandra:
"College. And the Police
Academy movies"); he then impressed her with his command
of Cantonese: "Campbell, it's amazing!
You learned how to say I look pretty in Cantonese" - and they
began speaking Chinese, with subtitles not matching their words
- Wayne and Garth's amusing chat while lying on
their backs on their car (at the beginning of an airport runway)
- about Cassandra and Bugs Bunny's sex appeal: Wayne: "Cassandra.
She's a fox. In French, she would be called 'la renarde' and
she would be hunted with only her cunning to protect her...She's
a robo-babe. In Latin, she would be called 'babia majora'" Garth:
"If she were a president, she'd be Babraham Lincoln. Did you
ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played
a girl bunny?...Neither did I. I was just asking"
- the scene of their use of a chroma-key blue-screen,
and their ability to immediately travel to other places with
different backdrops: "OK, we've got a new feature on Wayne's
World this week. It allows us to travel through time and space.
It's called chroma-key, and it's really handy if you want to
go to New York....Or maybe you prefer Hawaii. Mookalakaheeki.
Come on, you wanna lei me. Pass the poi, Mahalo....Or say you
want to go to Texas. Howdy, partners. Let's raise and rope broncos....Or
imagine being able to be magically whisked away to - Delaware";
Garth also described what it was like to be in their new studio:
"It's like a new pair of underwear, you know. At first, it's
constrictive, but after a while, it becomes a part of you"
- the "Game On" scene of the two playing
a game of one-on-one street hockey in the middle of the street,
and watching as distracted, neck-brace wearing Stacy (Lara Flynn
Boyle) waving as she rode by on a bicycle ("Hi Wayne!"),
wasn't watching where she was going, and slammed her bike into
the side of a parked car and went toppling; after she survived
the crash, the unfazed boys continued on ("And she's OK,
- the music store scene of Garth's amazing riff
on a drum set, performed after Cassandra and Wayne were enamored
by an expensive guitar: "There it is...Excalibur. Wow, '64
Fender Stratocaster in classic white, with triple single coil
pickups and a whammy bar. Pre-CBS Fender corporate buy-out. I'd
raise the bridge, file down the nut, and take the buzz out of
the low E" - and then Wayne's impulsive offer: "I'm feeling saucy.
I think I'm gonna buy it - do you accept cash? Cha-ching"
- Wayne's vow to sleazy network executive Benjamin
Oliver (Rob Lowe): "Contract or no, I will not bow to any
- while holding up a slice of Pizza Hut pizza, and then with
a bag of Doritos Tortilla Chips: "Maybe I'm wrong on this
one, but for me, the beast doesn't include selling out. Garth,
you know what I'm talking about, right?"; Garth added
(while completely garbed in Reebok clothing): "It's like
people only do things because they get paid. And that's just
- Wayne's scene with Cassandra, when he asked about
her responses to various phases of his future fame: "Tell me,
when that first show is over, will you still love me when I'm
an incredibly humongoid giant star?...Will you still love me
when I'm in my hanging-out-with-Ravi-Shankar phase?...Will you
still love me when I'm in my carbohydrates-sequined-jumpsuit,
bloated-purple-dead-on-a-toilet phase?" - when she responded
positively, he replied: "OK. Party. Bonus"
- the scene of rocker Alice Cooper's history lesson
in his dressing room after a show in Milwaukee: "Well, I'm a
regular visitor here, but Milwaukee has certainly had its
share of visitors. The French missionaries and explorers were
coming here as early as the late 1600s to trade with the Native
Americans...Actually, it's pronounced mee-lee-wah-kay, which
is Algonquin for 'the good land'...I think one of the most interesting
aspects of Milwaukee is the fact that it's the only major American
city to have ever elected three socialist mayors" - Wayne responded:
"Does this guy know how to party or what?" - when asked to stick
around and party, the two bowed down and praised him: "We're
- the scene of Wayne's use of insulting cue cards
(notes written on the back of his question cards, such as "SPHINCTER
BOY -->" and "HE BLOWS GOATS. I HAVE PROOF" and "THIS MAN HAS
NO PENIS") during a TV show interview to embarrass their sponsor
Mr. Vanderhoff (Brian Doyle-Murray)
- noted mostly for their dialogue,
sight gags, and catchphrases: "Excellent!", "Party
On!", "She's magically babelicious", "Schwing!", "If
you're gonna spew, spew into this", "Hurl", "We're
not worthy!," and "Pardon
me, do you have any Grey Poupon?", among others
- also, the famous sing-a-long performance by Wayne,
Garth and friends of Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody"
in their Mirth-mobile: ("Thunderbolts and Lightning, Very
Wedding Crashers (2005)
- a bawdy R-rated film about two intrepid Washington
DC bachelors and lifelong friends John Beckwith (Owen Wilson)
and Jeremy Grey (Vince Vaughn) who invited themselves to nuptial
receptions to pick up on women and bridesmaids
- Jeremy's fears of the 'perils of dating', after
Janice (Stephanie Nevin) offered to set him up on a date: "I've
got the perfect girl for you" - he responded: "Janice,
I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a
forced, awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating.
I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering,
'Do I have food on my face? Am I eating? Am I talking too much?
Are they talking enough? Am I interested? I'm not really interested.
Should I play like I'm interested? But I'm not that interested,
but I think she might be interested. But do I want to be interested?
But now she's not interested.' So now, all of sudden I'm, I'm
starting to get interested. And when am I supposed to kiss her?
Do I have to wait for the door? 'Cause then it's awkward, it's
like 'Well, good night.' Do you do like the ass-out hug? Where
you like, you hug each other like this, and the ass sticks out
because you're trying not to get too close. Or do you go right
in and just kiss 'em on the lips or don't kiss 'em at all? It's
very difficult trying to read the situation and all the while,
you're just really wondering, 'Are we gonna get hopped enough
to make some bad decisions?' Perhaps play a little game called
'Just the Tip.' Just for a second, just to see how it feels,
or 'Ouch Ouch, You're on My Hair.'... And thank you. Hey, Janice.
- the sped-up, raucous montage sequence of the
two scammers seeking free love at various wedding receptions,
and flopping around in bed with partly-clothed and naked women
from the weddings - including Brunette (Rachel Sterling), Ivana
(Ivana Bozilovic), Hindu woman (Naureen Zaim) and Vivian (Diora
Baird), to the tune of the Isley Brothers' "Shout"
- the objectives of their 'wedding crashing' -
two sisters: Claire Cleary (Rachel McAdams) (with a hotheaded,
unfaithful boyfriend named Sack Lodge (Bradley Cooper)), and
Claire's "stage-five virgin clinger" sister Gloria
- Jeremy's insistence to John, at the Cleary's wedding
reception, that there were specific rules for 'crashing weddings'
- there's no overtime and they had to leave right away: "John,
this is completely against the rules. You have a wedding and
a reception to seal the deal. Period. There's no overtime" -
they both argued: "You lock it up!"
- the Cleary dinner table scene when Jeremy was
touched in his crotch area (to bring him to orgasm) under the
table by nymphomaniacal Gloria, as a serious discussion about
venture capitalism was being conducted: "Well, there's the company
that we have where we're taking the, the fur or the wool from
sheep and we turn it into thread for homeless people to sew.
And then they make it into cloth, which they in turn sew then,
um, make some shirts and pants for other homeless people to sell.
It's a pretty good deal"; Jeremy struggled to add that he was
relieved: "People, people helping people... Terrific, it was
- the protective warning of presidential wannabe,
William Cleary (Christopher Walken), the US Secretary of the
Treasury, to Jeremy about his daughter: "You know, she's not
just another notch on the old belt...I'm a very powerful man"
- the racy scene of Jeremy being seduced by sexually-insatiable,
and "social alcoholic" Kathleen
"Kittycat" Cleary (Jane Seymour) - the socialite wife
of William Clearly who requested that he personally rate her recent
- the 'motorboating' scene, when John admitted:
"Claire's mom just made me grab her hooters"; Jeremy
tried to calm him: "Well, snap out of it! What? A hot, older
woman made you feel her cans? Stop crying like a little girl...Why
don't you try getting jacked off under the table in front of
the whole damn family and have some real problems? Jackass. What
were they like, anyway? They look pretty good. Are they real?
Are they built for speed or for comfort? What did you do with
'em? Motorboat? You play the motorboat? Ppppt! You motorboatin'
son of a bitch. You old sailor, you! Where is she? Is she still
in the house?"
- words of wisdom by Chazz Reinhold (Will Ferrell),
Jeremy's former wedding crashing mentor (but who was still living
with his mother), about how to pick up women - at funerals, where
he met his latest female conquest: "I got her yesterday....I
rode my bike over to a cemetery nearby. Her boyfriend just died...The
dude died in a hang-gliding accident. What an idiot! Ha, ha,
ha. 'Oh, I'm hang gliding! Honey, take a good picture... I'm
dead!' Ha, ha. What a freak!...Yeah, I'll throw in a wedding
every now and then, but funerals are insane! The chicks are so
horny, it's not even fair. It's like fishing with dynamite....Yeah,
crazy horny...Grief is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac. Look
Met Sally... (1989)
- the various pseudo-documentary mini-interview segments
interspersed throughout the film -- each one with an elderly couple
describing their relationship (with one-liners such as: "...you
know a great melon")
- the early scene of fussy and proper Sally
Albright (Meg Ryan) ordering at a roadside cafe during an 18-hour
road trip with slobbish student Harry (Billy Crystal): "I'd
like the chef salad, please, with the oil and vinegar on the side.
And the apple pie a la mode....But I'd like the pie heated, and
I don't want the ice cream on top. I want it on the side. And
I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it. If not,
then no ice cream, just whipped cream, but only if it's real.
If it's out of a can, then nothing" while
Harry just ordered: "the Number Three"
- the scene of Harry describing his recurring sex
fantasy dream to Sally: "I had my dream again - where I'm making
love and the Olympic judges are watching? I've nailed the compulsories,
so this is it: the finals. I got a 9.8 from the Canadian, a perfect
10 from the American. And my mother, disguised as an East German
judge, gave me a 5.6. Must've been the dismount"; then it was Sally's
turn to describe her 'embarrassing' sex dream: "Basically it's
the same one I've been having since I was 12...OK, there's this
guy...He's just kinda faceless...He rips off my clothes...That's
it...Sometimes I vary it a little...What I'm wearing"
- the "high-maintenance/low-maintenance" phone discussion
between Harry and Sally, while they were both watching the conclusion
of Casablanca from their respective beds: Harry: "There are two
kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance...You're the
worst kind; you're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance....You
don't see that? Waiter, I'll begin with a house salad, but I don't
want the regular dressing. I'll have the balsamic vinegar and oil,
but on the side. And then the salmon with the mustard sauce, but
I want the mustard sauce on the side. 'On
the side' is
a very big thing for you..."
- and the notorious
crowded, New York deli-restaurant scene of Sally's simulated orgasm
to prove to Harry how most women occasionally fake orgasms: ("Ooooh.
Oh, God. Oooooh. Oh God!..."), foot-noted by an elderly patron
(director Rob Reiner's mother Estelle) exclaiming to the waiter
at a nearby table:
"I'll have what she's having!"
- the scene of the simultaneous, split-screen four-way
phone call, when Harry called his friend Jess (Bruno Kirby) and
Sally called her friend Marie (Carrie Fisher) to tell them that
they had just had sex - and when the call was finished, Marie asked
me I never have to be out there again"
Roger Rabbit (1988)
- the many inside jokes and visual
- the riotous opening Maroon cartoon
Cookin' featuring Baby Herman and Toon-star Roger Rabbit (voice
of Charles Fleischer)
- the manic, hostile piano duel between Donald
Duck and Daffy Duck: (Daffy: "This is the last time I work with someone
with a speech impediment!") playing Franz Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody
- the busty and sensual appearance of Roger's
sexy wife Jessica (voice of Kathleen Turner) in a shimmering pink
dress from behind a curtain at the Ink and Paint Club
character of down-and-out, hard-boiled private detective Eddie
Valiant (Bob Hoskins) and his mis-adventures inside the off-the-wall,
lunatic Toontown - interacting with such cartoon legends as Mickey
Mouse, Bugs Bunny, Droopy Dog and Tweety Bird - and of course,
- Eddie's slapstick dance to make Doom's sidekick
Weasels die - literally - of laughter at him
- the joyous conclusion with Porky Pig delivering
"That's all folks!"
The Wicker Man (2006)
- in this Hollywood remake, the many unintentionally
funny scenes of California law officer Edward Malus (Nicolas Cage)
investigating the disappearance of young girl Rowan Woodward (Erika
Shaye Gair) (the plot twist was that the girl was his own daughter!)
on a pagan-worshipping island off the coast of Washington State;
there were frequent over-reactions, bad acting, over-the-top
rantings and ravings
- Malus arrived at a classroom full of girls who
were chanting: "Phallic symbol, phallic symbol!" in response to
teacher Sister Rose's (Molly Parker) question: "Will you tell us
what man represents in his purest form?"; Malus flashed his badge
as he introduced himself at the door while laughing: "I'm a policeman.
See my badge?"
- Malus' crazed, repeated question to his ex-fiancee,
Sister Willow (Kate Beahan), while holding Rowan's doll: "Is this
hers? How'd it get burned? How'd it get burned? HOW'D IT GET BURNED,
HOW'D IT GET BURNED?"
- Malus' threatening stance while pointing a gun at
Rose before stealing her bike: "Step away from the bike!"
- his donning of a ridiculous bear costume to join
in a parade, in disguise
- Malus' response to torture before his legs were
broken with a mallet, to prevent him from escaping: "YOU BITCHES!
YOU BITCHES! THIS IS MURDER! MURDER! YOU'LL ALL BE GUILTY! AND
YOU'RE DOING IT FOR NOTHING! KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GODDAMN
- Malus' reaction to having a bee helmet placed on
his head, into which live bees were poured: "OH, NO! NOT THE BEES!
NOT THE BEES! AAAAAHHHHH! OH, THEY'RE IN MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAAHHHHH!
- and as Malus was burned in the large wooden Wicker
Man statue, the crowd chanted "The Drone Must Die!" while
he screamed out
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate
- the zany Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder)
and his off-the-cuff, literary referential non-sequiturs and non-answers:
("The suspense is terrible... I hope it'll last" - from Oscar Wilde's "The Importance of Being Earnest" - "If the
good Lord had intended us to walk, he wouldn't have invented roller-skates"
- and "So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that.
Withnail & I (1987, UK)
- the film's highly memorable
script ("Scrubbers!") about two would-be, down-and-out
actors (Withnail & I, Marwood), who escaped to the countryside
the tea-room scene in which arrogant drunkard/homosexual Withnail
(Richard E. Grant) demanded from the proprietor in the already-closed
establishment: "We want
the finest wines available to humanity, and we want them here, and
we want them now!"
- also Withnail's description of how to
spend the weekend as they approached the pub: "Alright, this
is the plan. We get in there and get wrecked. Then we'll eat a
pork pie, then we'll drop a couple of Surmontil-50s each. It means
we'll miss out Monday and come up smiling Tuesday morning"
- the chicken-killing scene ("I think you
should strangle it instantly in case it starts trying to make friends
- the fish-shooting sequence (a new way to fish)
- the characters of Danny
(Ralph Brown) ("All hairdressers
are in the employment of the government") who knew how
to roll a "Camberwell Carrot",
and Withnail's eccentric, wealthy and lonely Uncle Monty (Richard
- also the scene in which Marwood/I (Paul McGann)
was in the Mother Black Cap pub with Withnail, and while on his
way into the men's room, he heard a homophobic, fat Irishman (Daragh
O'Malley) bar patron deliver a slur toward him: "Ponce!";
while he was at a urinal, in voice-over, Withnail worried: "I
could hardly piss straight with fear. Here was a man with three-quarters
of an inch of brain had taken a dislike to me. What have I done
to offend him? I don't consciously offend big men like this. And
this one has a definite imbalance of hormone in him. Get any more
masculine than him, you'd have to live up a tree. (Reading graffiti
carved into the wall in front of him) 'I f--k arses.' Who f--ks
arses? Maybe he f--ks arses. Maybe he's written this in some moment
of drunken sincerity? I'm in considerable danger in here. I must
get out of here at once"
- in the next sequence as he left the loo, Marwood
heard another greater insult: "Performed
Ponce"; when directly confronted, Withnail
delivered a witty retort for his friend: "I have a heart
condition. If you hit me, it's murder"; the Irishman continued:
"I'll murder the pair of yers!"; then Withnail added tearfully:
"My wife is having a baby! Listen, I don't know what my acquaintance
did to upset you, but it's nothing to do with me. I suggest you
both go outside and discuss it sensibly, in the street" - and
the two then fled the pub screaming
- and the film's conclusion with Withnail's wine-soaked
quoting from Shakespeare's Hamlet during a drenching rain:
("What a piece of work is a man! How noble
in reason! How infinite in faculties! How like an angel in apprehension,
how like a God! The beauty of the world, paragon of animals!
And yet to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights
not me: no, nor women neither. Nor women neither")
of Oz (1939)
- the scene of the squirming Scarecrow
(Ray Bolger) - and then the shaking Cowardly Lion (Bert Lahr) timidly
asking the Wizard after being challenged to bring back the broomstick
of the Wicked Witch of the West: "But what if she kills us first?"- then
panicking, running down the hallway and leaping through a window
The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)
- the iconic, scene-stealing chest-beating or thumping
scene, set during lunch (and lots of martini orders) in a high-rise
skyscraper's restaurant between Jordan Belfort (Leonardo Di Caprio)
and sleazy, smooth-talking high-roller boss Mark Hanna (Matthew
McConaughey); Belfort was literally introduced to the calming effect
of chest-thumping and money-chanting by Hanna, who coaxed him into
joining in: "Come on. We're the common denominator. Keep it
up for me. You've seen the echo. And the money comes in. The parade
comes to town. Goin' down Broadway. It's a one-way street. Whichever
way I go"
- later, Belfort led his entire staff in a
session of chest-beating
Woman of the Year (1942)
- the scene in which down-to-earth New York sportswriter
Sam Craig (Spencer Tracy) took brilliant, high-brow political correspondent
Tess Harding (Katharine Hepburn) to her first baseball game during
which he had to explain the game and its rules
- and her disastrous failed attempt to cook a decent
breakfast and be a traditionally-domesticated housewife for him
- she fought with the kitchen appliances, watched toast pop out
of the toaster onto the floor, boiled coffee over, and overfilled
the waffle griddle with batter as he watched in amazement
The Women (1939)
- all of the scenes of poisonous
and jaundiced views of the women - at beauty parlors, a divorce dude
ranch in Reno (with a tremendous cat-fight), in dressing rooms,
exercise rooms and powder rooms
- and the cold-hearted perfume salesgirl
Crystal Allen's (Joan Crawford) final vitriolic parting words -
hissed at the other women: "...there's
a name for you ladies, but it isn't used in high society, outside
of a kennel!" - typical
of the film's entire dialogue
- the funny horror film spoof
from director Mel Brooks, with its early scene in the medical
classroom when grandson of the original baron named Dr. Frederick
Frankenstein (Gene Wilder): ("It's pronounced Frohn-ken-Shteeeen")
must answer touchy questions from an inquisitive student about
his legendary grandfather Dr. Victor Frankenstein - and he jabbed
a scalpel into his leg
- the creation scene in which Dr. Frankenstein yelled
madly: "Give my creation...life!"
- the character of bug-eyed, ignorant, leering Igor
(Marty Feldman) with a shifting humpback ("Didn't you used to
have that on the other side?...Your, uh...")
- Igor's questioning
by slow-to-anger Dr. Frankenstein about whose brain Igor had stolen:
"Would you mind telling me whose brain I did put in?";
Igor responded hesitantly and acquired a promise that the doctor
wouldn't become angry: "Abby someone...Abby Normal...I'm almost
sure that was the name"; Frankenstein pressed further: "Are
you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven-and-a-half-foot
long, fifty-four inch wide gorilla? Is that what you're telling me?" and
then began strangling his servant
- Igor's transport of Dr. Frankenstein and his assistant
Inga (Teri Garr) to the Transylvania castle in a wagon, and her
exclamation of: "Werewolf!"; Igor misinterpreted what she said
and answered by pointing out: "There...There, wolf. There, castle"
- the scene of Frankenstein
marveling at large iron door knockers on the Transylvania castle
"What knockers!", with Inga's quick
response as he lifted her out of the carriage: "Oh, Thank you,
- the scenes of horses neighing (and lightning strikes)
whenever housekeeper Frau Blucher's (Cloris Leachman) name was
- the classic scene of the Monster with the blind
hermit (Gene Hackman) in his shack - a tribute to a similar scene
Bride of Frankenstein
in which he called the Monster "an incredibly big mute",
poured boiling soup on the Monster's lap, broke the Monster's wine
mug when toasting their friendship, and lit the Monster's thumb,
thinking it was a cigar - and then called after him as he left in
Where are you going? I was gonna make espresso"
- also the revolving bookcase-fireplace
sequence with a secret passageway, and Dr. Frankenstein's continual
the candle back" - and his failed attempt to block the turning
bookcase with his body: ("Now listen to me very carefully, don't
put the candle back. With all of your might, shove against the other
side of the bookcase. Is that perfectly clear?"); and then Inga was
trapped behind the bookcase
- and the charades sequence of Dr. Frankenstein acting
out the word 'Sed-a-give' ("Give him the sedative" with
an injection), using the game of charades, to control the violent
Monster (Peter Boyle) that was strangling him
- Dr. Frankenstein's introduction of the Monster
to an audience as a "man about town" and their top-hat
and cane, tap-dancing duet of Irving Berlin's "Puttin' on
the Ritz" - with
the Monster's slurred, squeaky, and high-pitched singing
- Dr. Frankenstein's request of Igor: "Igor, will
you give me a hand with the bags?" - and his reply - with growling:
"Certainly, you take the blonde and I'll take the one with the
- and the scene of nymphomaniacal fiancee Elizabeth's
(Madeline Kahn) infatuation with
the Monster - "You're incorrigible, aren't you, you little
and then after viewing his "enormous
she first breathed an aroused, wide-eyed "Woof!", and
then warbled the tune 'O Sweet Mystery of Life' as he made love
to her (offscreen), and her hair turned white, a la The
Bride of Frankenstein; after sex, they shared a cigarette
(similar to Now, Voyager (1942))
Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)
- an R-rated comedy/drama about two cash-strapped,
platonic, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania friends: Zack Brown (Seth Rogen)
and roommate Miriam "Miri" Linky (Elizabeth Banks), who
decided to earn quick money for their rent by making an amateur
adult porno flick
- the argument scene between Delaney (Craig
Robinson) and his assertive, volatile wife (Tisha Campbell-Martin)
who swore at each other like a real husband-and-wife; when he returned
home late with Zack, she wanted answers: "Where the f--k you
been? And who in the f--k is this now?...You already left one white
boy down in my basement while you off gallivanting and s--t. What
if this motherf--ker was all grabby on me?"; when Delaney
reassured her with "Ain't nobody wanna grab on you",
his response backfired and she ignited in anger: "Oh,
what in the f--k is that supposed to mean?"; Zack was pulled
into the argument when she demanded an answer from
him: "White boys love me. White boy. I said white boy!...You'd
f--k me, wouldn't you?"; Zack was coached to answer: "Yeah!";
in response, she seductively pinched her breast at him; in a few
moments, the couple both accused each other of having physical
deficiencies - "saggy-ass balls" and "sagging-ass
titties" - she
retorted back: "Then motherf--ker, we match!"
- the comedy's most controversial scene - a gross-out
scatological 's--t shot' (something that caused the MPAA ratings
board concern), when Deacon (Jeff Anderson) was complaining to
Delaney (who was exclaiming "Can you believe this s--t?") after
Stacey (real-life adult film star Katie Morgan) accidentally pooped
all over his face: "Do you believe THIS s--t?...I'll tell you what
just happened in there. That chick frosted me like I was a f--king
- a Ben Stiller-directed comedy
- a satire on the fashion industry about clueless, dumb
but handsome, narcissistic male supermodel Derek Zoolander (Ben
Stiller) who was brainwashed by corrupt fashion executive Jacobim
Mugatu (Will Ferrell) in a plot to assassinate the anti-sweat-shop,
politically-progressive Malaysian prime minister during a visit
to New York - cued to the song "Relax" by Frankie Goes
- Derek's explanation to journalist Matilda Jeffries
(Christine Taylor) about why he so often used the term: "Earth
To...": "Listen. It's not like we think we're actually
in a control tower trying to reach outer space aliens or something,
- and Derek's words about doing more in life than
being good-looking, by helping people: "Maybe we should be
doing something more meaningful with our lives. Like helping people....People
who need help"; his roommate friends suggested instead: "Orange
- after watching one of Derek's mer-man ads on TV,
his apology to his coal-mining father Larry (Jon Voight) who
was embarrassed for having such a delicate son coming back to his
hometown roots: "I'm sorry I was born with this perfect bone structure.
That my hair looks better done up with gel and mousse than hidden
under a stupid hat with a light on it!"; his enraged father disowned
and mocked him: "Your male modeling? Prancing around in your underwear
with your wiener hanging out for everyone to see? You're dead to
me, boy. You're more dead to me than your dead mother. I just thank
the Lord she didn't live to see her son as a mermaid"
- Mugatu's throw-up after tasting a latte drink prepared
by Graham Todd (Nathan Lee): "Are you not aware that I get farty
and bloated with a foamy latte?"
- and Derek's upset about the presentation
of Mugatu's miniature model for the Derek Zoolander Center For
Kids Who Can't Read Good, when he smashed it on the floor: "What
is this? A center for ants?...How can we be expected to teach children
to learn how to read if they can't even fit inside the building?...I
don't want to hear your excuses! The center has to be at least
three times bigger than this"
- the scene of Zoolander's vigorous and stimulating
massage given to him by Olga (Andy Dick) at the Pier 12 Day Spa:
"I want you to relax and breathe deeply. Breathe deeply...Welcome
to your relaxation time. Let this wonderful s classic soothe you.
Just a nice, warm, happy time. Happy, happy. Nothing to worry about
at all. Just relax"
- the underground, Fight Club-like fashion
runway 'walk-off' between Zoolander and up-and-coming, winning Male
Model of the Year - blonde "it-boy" model Hansel
(Owen Wilson) after the latter asserted: "Age before beauty,
Cochise"; the fashion competition was
refereed by David Bowie (as Himself), to the music of Michael
Jackson's Beat It - and also viewed in split-screen; during
the walk-off, Derek attempted to duplicate Hansel's complex underwear-removal
move, but failed (he was ruled "Disqualified")
- the scene of famous former male hand model J.P.
Prewitt's (David Duchovny) crack-pot description, delivered in
a cemetery, of a fashion industry conspiracy behind political assassinations:
"What you've stumbled upon goes way deeper than you could ever
fathom. The fashion industry has been behind every major political
assassination over the last 200 years. And behind every hit, a
card-carrying male model...Listen and learn, sweetness. Abe Lincoln
wanted to abolish slavery, right? But who do you think made the
powdered wigs and colored leg stockings worn by our country's early
leaders?...Slaves, Derek. Without their free labor, prices on such
items would have gone up tenfold. So the powers that be hired John
Wilkes Booth - the original model/actor, to do Mr. Lincoln in.
I'll go on. Dallas, Texas, 1963. Kennedy had just put a trade embargo
on Cuba, ostensibly halting the shipment of Cuban-manufactured
sans-a-belt slacks. Incredibly popular item at the time....those
two lookers who capped Kennedy from the grassy knoll sure as s--t
were...Think about it, Derek. Male models are genetically constructed
to become assassins. They're in peak physical condition. They can
gain entry to the most secure places in the world. And most important
of all, models don't think for themselves. They do as they're told"
- a scene paying homage to 'The Dawn of the Apes'
in 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968): Derek's and Hansel's confusion
about figuring out how to start up an orange-colored, Apple-brand
Macintosh computer in the office of Derek's agent Maury Ballstein
(Jerry Stiller): "There must be an on button somewhere. Did you
press that apple thing? Wait! Hansel! Let's not lose our cool.
Then we're no better than the machine"
- the concluding scene, when the crazed Mugatu was
circumvented from his plot to have Derek kill the Malaysian Prime
Minister: "I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! I invented
the piano key necktie! I invented it! What have you done, Derek?
Nothing! You've done nothing! Nothing! And I will be a monkey's
uncle if I have you ruin this for me! Because if you can't get
the job done, then I will! Die, you wage-hiking scum!" -
Mugatu decided to do the job himself by throwing a concealed Japanese
weapon (shuriken) at the PI, but Derek came to the rescue and halted
the weapon by posing as the ultimate male model known as "Magnum"