Best Film Speeches and Monologues
||Film Title/Year and Description of Film Speech/Monologue
The Alamo (2004)
Screenwriter(s): Leslie Bohem, Stephen Gaghan, John Lee Hancock
the Taters Right Back"
Play clip (excerpt):
David (Davy) Crockett (Billy Bob Thornton) presented
a demythologizing description of his 1813 participation in
the Creek Indian War (the Battle of Tallushatchee, or the
Red Stick War) with Tennessee militia in Alabama, when burned
Indian flesh was combined with potatoes. He reasoned why he
was passing on the taters:
I was never in but one real scrape in my
life, feller. (Yeah, but you was in the Red Stick War.)
Yeah, it's true. I was in that. I sure was. I was just
about your age when it broke out. The Creeks, uh, boxed
up about 400 or 500 people at Fort Mims and, uh, massacred
every one of 'em. 'Course this was big news around those
parts, so I up and joined the volunteers. I did a little
scoutin', but mostly I, I just fetched in venison for the
cook fire, things of that nature.
Well, we caught up with
those redskins at Tallushatchee, surrounded the village,
come in from all directions. Wasn't much of a fight, really.
We just shot 'em down like dogs. Finally, what Injuns
was left, they crowded into this little cabin. They wanted
to surrender, but this squaw, she loosed an arrow and killed
one of the fellers, and then we shot her. And then we set
the cabin on fire.
We could hear 'em screamin' for their gods
in there. We smelled 'em burnin'. We'd had nary to eat but
parched corn since October. And the next day, when we dug
through the ashes, we found some potaters from the cellar.
They'd been cooked by that grease that run off them Indians.
And we ate till we nearly burst. Since then, you pass the
taters and I pass 'em right back.
Anchorman: The Legend
of Ron Burgundy (2004)
Screenwriter(s): Will Ferrell, Adam McKay
Ladies Play Your Cards Right, You Just Might Get To Meet
the Whole Gang"
Play clip (excerpt):
San Diego KVWN's over-sexed, narcissistic, lead
field TV news reporter Brian Fantana (Paul Rudd) introduced
himself as part of the news team:
People call me the Bri-man. I'm the stylish
one of the group. I know what you're askin' yourself, and
the answer is yes. I have a nickname for my penis. It's
called the Octagon, but I also nicknamed my testes. My
left one is James Westfall and my right one is Doctor Kenneth
Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right, you just
might get to meet the whole gang.
Before Sunset (2004)
Screenwriter(s): Richard Linklater, Julie Delpy, Ethan Hawke
of the Most Exciting Things That's Ever Happened to Me Is
to Meet Somebody"
33 year-old successful book author Jesse Wallace
(Ethan Hawke) made a 5:30 pm Shakespeare & Company in-store
Parisian appearance (his final stop) for a reading, book signing,
and Q&A session. His just-published book This Time,
was a fictionalized account of his night nine years earlier
with French girl Celine (Julie Delpy) from the previous film Before
A journalist asked him: "Do you consider
the book to be autobiographical?", and he evasively answered
Well, I mean, isn't everything autobiographical?
I mean, we all see the world through our own tiny keyhole,
right? I mean, I always think of Thomas Wolfe. You know,
have you ever seen that little one-page 'Note to Reader'
in the front of Look Homeward, Angel?...Anyway,
he says that we are the sum of all the moments
of our lives and that, uh, anybody who sits down to write
is gonna use the clay of their own life - that you can't
avoid that. So when I look at my own life, you know, I
have to admit, right, that I've-I've never been around
a bunch of guns or violence, you know, not really. No political
intrigue or a helicopter crash, right?
But my life, from my own point of view, has
been full of drama, right? And uh, so I thought, if I could
write a book that, that could capture what it's like to,
to really meet somebody, [The film flashed back
to scenes from Before Sunrise (1995)], I mean, one
of the most exciting things that's ever happened to me is
to meet somebody, to make that connection. And if I could
make that valuable, you know, to capture that, that would
be the attempt, or... Did I answer your question?
Before Sunset (2004)
Screenwriter(s): Richard Linklater, Julie Delpy,
What Does It Mean, The Right Man?"
During a car ride, Celine (Julie Delpy) explained
to Jesse (Ethan Hawke) how miserable her love life had become:
I was fine, until I read your f--king book!
It stirred s--t up, you know? It reminded me how genuinely
romantic I was, how I had so much hope in things, and now
it's like, I don't believe in anything that relates to
love. I don't feel things for people anymore. In a way,
I put all my romanticism into that one night, and I was
never able to feel all this again. Like, somehow this night
took things away from me and I expressed them to you, and
you took them with you! It made me feel cold, like if love
wasn't for me!...
You know what? Reality and love are almost
contradictory for me. It's funny. Every single of my ex’s,
they're now married! Men go out with me, we break up, and
then they get married! And later they call me to thank me
for teaching them what love is, and, and that I taught them
to care and respect women!...
You know, I want to kill them!! Why didn't
they ask me to marry them? I would have said "No," but
at least they could have asked!! But it's my fault, I know
it's my fault, because I never felt it was the right man.
Never! But what does it mean the right man? The love of your
life? The concept is absurd. The idea that we can only be
complete with another person is EVIL!! Right??!!...
You know, I guess I've been heart-broken too
many times. And then I recovered. So now, you know, from
the starts I make no effort because I know it’s not
going to work out, I know it’s not going to work out.
Downfall (2004, Germ.) (aka Der
Screenwriter(s): Bernd Eichinger
Military, Everybody Lied to Me"
Nazi Germany's Fuehrer Adolf Hitler's (Bruno
Ganz) sputtering, psychotic tirade at his military officers
during the final days in his bunker in 1945 at the conclusion
of WWII. He was unable to believe his forces were depleted
and didn't attack as he had ordered:
That was an order! Steiner's attack was an
order! How dare you ignore my orders? Is this what it came
to? The military, everybody lied to me. Even the SS. The
generals are no more than a bunch of disloyal cowards....Cowards,
traitors, and incompetents...The generals are the scum
of the German people! No sense of honour. You call yourself
general because you spent years at the academy where you
only learnt to use knife and fork. For years, the military
obstructed me. All you ever did is thwart me. I should
have had all the high officers executed. Like Stalin did.
I never went to the academy. But I conquered all of Europe
on my own.
Traitors. I've been betrayed and deceived from
the start. Such enormous betrayal of the German people. But
all these traitors will pay. With their own blood. They will
drown in their own blood....All my orders have been ignored.
How can I be a leader under these circumstances? It's over.
The war is lost.
Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
Screenwriter(s): Steve Kloves
Thing - Time"
Although innocent, Sirius Black (Gary Oldman),
charged as a murderer, had been captured (and was held in the
topmost cell of the Dark Tower) and the Dementors were preparing
to "suck out his soul." Hogwarts Headmaster Albus
Dumbledore (Michael Gambon) suggested that young student Hermione
Granger (Emma Watson) use her Time-Turning necklace device
(turned three times) to spare "more than one innocent
life" - she and Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) would
retrace their steps by going back three hours in time to repeat
the events of the night and positively alter them:
Mysterious thing, time. Powerful, and when
meddled with, dangerous. Sirius Black is in the topmost
cell of the dark tower. You know the laws, Miss Granger.
You must not be seen. And you would do well, I feel, to
return before this last chime. If not, the consequences
are too ghastly to discuss. If you succeed tonight, more
than one innocent life may be spared. Three turns, should
do it, I think.
(He started to leave but turned back)
Oh, and by the way. When in doubt, I find retracing my steps
to be a wise place to begin. Good luck.
The Incredibles (2004)
Screenwriter(s): Brad Bird
Got Me Monologuing!"
Embittered enemy Syndrome's (voice of Jason Lee)
long-winded rant about his egomaniacal plans to super-hero
Mr. Incredible (voice of Craig T. Nelson) (who became trapped
with a zero-point energy ray) - when Syndrome suddenly realized
that he was delivering a monologue:
See? Now you respect me, because I'm a threat.
That's the way it works. Turns out, there are a lot of
people, whole countries, who want respect, and they will
pay through the nose to get it. How do you think I got
rich? I invented weapons, and now I have a weapon that
only I can defeat, and when I unleash it, I'll get...
(Laughing) You sly dog! You got me
monologuing! I can't believe it. It's cool, huh? Zero-point
energy. I-I save the best inventions for myself. (Syndrome
slammed Mr. Incredible against the ground) Am I good
enough now? (He slammed him again) Who's super now?
I'm Syndrome, your nemesis and... (He inadvertently threw
Mr. Incredible out of sight) Oh, brilliant.
Kill Bill, Vol. 2
Screenwriter(s): Quentin Tarantino
a Renegade Killer Bee" -- Musings about Superheroes
There was a final confrontation-showdown between
revenge-seeking assassinatrix Bride (Uma Thurman), aka Beatrix
Kiddo, and Bill (David Carradine) - her former boss/lover and
father of her 4 year-old daughter B.B. (Perla Haney-Jardine).
He shot her in the leg with truth serum, and
then unhurriedly mused about comparisons between Superman and
Spider-Man. He expressed his admiration for her as one of his "natural
born killers" - as a member of his Deadly Viper Assassination
Squad, before she had deserted him and chosen to secretly take
her unborn baby away from him:
As you know, l'm quite keen on comic books.
Especially the ones about superheroes. I find the whole
mythology surrounding superheroes fascinating. Take my
favorite superhero, Superman. Not a great comic book, not
particularly well-drawn, but the mythology. The
mythology is not only great, it's unique...Now,
a staple of the superhero mythology is, there's the superhero
and there's the alter ego. Batman is actually Bruce Wayne,
Spider-Man is actually Peter Parker. When that character
wakes up in the morning, he's Peter Parker. He has to put
on a costume to become Spider-Man. And it is in that characteristic
Superman stands alone.
Superman didn't become Superman. Superman was
born Superman. When Superman wakes up in the morning, he's
Superman. His alter ego is Clark Kent. His outfit with the
big red "S", that's the blanket he was wrapped
in as a baby when the Kents found him. Those are his clothes.
What Kent wears - the glasses, the business suit - that's the
costume. That's the costume Superman wears to blend in with
us. Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the
characteristics of Clark Kent? He's weak, he's unsure of
himself, he's a coward. Clark Kent is Superman's critique
on the whole human race. Sorta like Beatrix Kiddo and Mrs.
You would've worn the costume of Arlene Plympton.
But you were born Beatrix Kiddo. And every morning when you
woke up, you'd still be Beatrix Kiddo...I'm calling you a
killer. A natural born killer. You always have been, and
you always will be. Moving to El Paso, working in a used
record store, goin' to the movies with Tommy, clipping coupons.
That's you, trying to disguise yourself as a worker bee.
That's you tryin' to blend in with the hive. But you're not
a worker bee. You're a renegade killer bee. And no matter
how much beer you drank or barbecue you ate or how fat your
ass got, nothing in the world would ever change that...