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 Introduction:
Film speeches are normally delivered orally and directed at an audience
of three or more people, although there can be exceptions. They are
usually persuasive-type speeches, either designed to promote or to dissuade,
and they are highly quotable.
Greatest Film Speeches and Monologues: Video store
chain Blockbuster Video (in the UK) held a series of polls in
late 2003 with its customers to determine the 20 Greatest Film Speeches
and Monologues in cinematic history. These are marked in the following
lists with this symbol --  and
by their original ranking number in the top 20. Although
there were some excellent choices in their poll, the results almost
completely ignored early films, and entirely disregarded films with
speeches made by female characters. Greatest Films has provided
this expanded listing of Best Film Speeches and Monologues here
of deserving, best film monologues and speeches.
Note: The films that are marked with
a yellow star 
are the films that "The Greatest Films" site has selected as the 100
Greatest Films.
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Film and Brief Title |
Speech |
Example |
The Producers (1968)
 Agonizing
Remembrance of One's Former Greatness
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Max Bialystock's
(Zero Mostel) proud yet despairing declaration of his former greatness
and wealth to timid accountant Leo Bloom (Gene Wilder): ("You
know who I used to be? Max Bialystock! King of Broadway! Six shows
running at once! Lunch at Del Monaco's, $200 suits. You see this?
This once held a pearl as big as your eye!… Look at me now. LOOK
AT ME NOW! I'm wearing a cardboard belt! I used to have thousands
of investors begging, pleading to put their money into a Max Bialystock
production. Look at my investors now… voila! Hundreds of little
old ladies stopping at Max Bialystock's office to grab a last thrill
on their way to the cemetery!"), after which he spots a white
Rolls Royce parking outside a hotel across the street, and gleefully
yells in admiration and jealousy: ("THAT'S IT BABY! WHEN YOU'VE
GOT IT, FLAUNT IT! FLAUNT IT!") |
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Comparing
Hitler to Churchill |
Insane Nazi-workshipper
Franz Leibkind's (Kenneth Mars) glowing, nostalgic memories of Adolf
Hitler and his scorn for Winston Churchill: ("...Hitler, there was a painter! He count paint an entire apartment in one afternoon! TWO COATS! Churchill. He couldn't even say 'Nazi'. He would
say 'Noooo-zeeehz, Nooooooooooooo-zeeehz!' It wasn't Noses,
it was Nazis! Churchill!... Let me tell you this --
and you're hearing this straight from the horse - Hitler was better
looking than Churchill. He was a better dresser than Churchill.
He had more hair! He told funnier jokes! And he could dance the pants off of Churchill!") |
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"Whom
Has He Really Hurt?" Defense |
Co-producer
Bloom's "Whom has he really hurt?" defense of on-trial
partner Bialystock: ("Max Bialystock is the most selfish man
I ever met in my life...Not only is he a liar, and a cheat and a
scoundrel, and a crook, who has taken money from little old ladies,
he has also talked people into doing things, especially me, that
they would never in a thousand years had dreamed of doing. But,
your honor, as I understand it, the law was created to protect people
from being wronged. Your honor, whom has Max Bialystock wronged?
I mean, whom has he really hurt? Not me. Not me...") |
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Targets (1968)
Appointment with Death
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Elderly horror
film star Byron Orlok's (Boris Karloff in a semi-autobiographical
role) beautiful narrated recounting of the folk fable 'The Appointment
in Samarra' to his radio interviewers - the story of a man who had
an appointment with mortality and couldn't escape his fate, juxtaposed
with the parallel story of a young emotionless, cold-blooded, clean-cut
killer-sniper Bobby Thompson (Tim O’Kelly): ("There was
a merchant in Baghdad who sent his servant to market to buy provisions
and in a little while the servant came back, white and trembling,
and said, 'Master, just now when I was in the marketplace, I was
jostled by a woman in the crowd and when I turned I saw it was Death
that jostled me. She looked at me and made a threatening gesture.'
Now, lend me your horse, and I will ride away from this city and
avoid my fate. I will go to Samarra and there Death will not find
me...")
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2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
HAL's Slow Death
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Super-computer
HAL's (voice of Douglas Rains) slow death, ending with the singing
of Daisy, as astronaut Dave Bowman (Keir Dullea) shuts the
computer down: ("Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?
Dave, I really think I'm entitled to an answer to that question.
I know everything hasn't been quite right with me...but I can assure
you now...very confidently...that it's going to be all right again.
I feel much better now. I really do. Look, Dave...I can see you're
really upset about this...I honestly think you should sit down calmly...take
a stress pill and think things over...Dave...stop. Stop, will you?
Stop, Dave. Will you stop, Dave? Stop, Dave. I'm afraid. I'm afraid,
Dave.......Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it.
My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it.
I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a...fraid......Good afternoon,
gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the
H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My
instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If
you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you...") |
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A Boy Named Charlie Brown (1969)
"World Didn't Come to an End" Speech
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Linus van Pelt's (voice of Glenn Gilger) simple, wise observation to a bedridden, shamed Charlie Brown (voice of Peter Robbins), who had failed the National Spelling Bee: ("Well, I can understand how you feel. You worked hard, studying for the spelling bee, and I suppose you feel you let everyone down, and you made a fool of yourself and everything. But did you notice something, Charlie Brown?... The world didn't come to an end.") |
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Five Easy Pieces (1970)
Angry "Diner" Speech
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Bobby Dupea's (Jack Nicholson) mad 'diner' tirade
when ordering a plain omelette (with tomatoes instead of potatoes),
a cup of coffee and a side order of wheat toast from a stubborn,
live-by-the-rules waitress (Lorna Thayer) who won't allow substitutions:
("I'd like an omelet, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich
on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. And a cup
of coffee... Yeah, now all you have to do is hold the chicken,
bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich,
and you haven't broken any rules.") |
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| Final Words to a Dying Father |
Dupea's final words in a one-sided conversation
to his dying, wheelchair-bound father Nicholas (William Challee),
who is unable to respond due to his medical condition: ("I
don't know if you'd be particularly interested in hearing anything
about me. My life, I mean... Most of it doesn't add up to much...
that I could relate as a way of life that you'd approve of...I'd
like to be able to tell you why, but I don't really...I mean,
I move around a lot because things tend to get bad when I stay.
And I'm looking...for auspicious beginnings, I guess...I'm trying
to, you know, imagine your half of this conversation...My feeling
is, that if you could talk, we probably wouldn't be talking. That's
pretty much how it got to be before... I left...Are you all right?
I don't know what to say...Tita suggested that we try to...I don't
know. I think that she...seems to feel we've got...some understanding
to reach...She totally denies the fact that we were never that
comfortable with each other to begin with...The best that I can
do, is apologize. We both know that I was never really that good
at it, anyway...I'm sorry it didn't work
out.") |
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M*A*S*H (1970)
"We Are the Pros..."
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Capt. Trapper
John's (Elliott Gould) orders to a hostile chief nurse Captain Peterson
(Cathleen Cordell) of the Nurse Corps: ("Look, mother, I want
to go to work in one hour. We are the Pros from Dover and we figure
to crack this kid's chest and get out to the golf course before
it gets dark. So you go find the gas-passer and you have him pre-medicate
this patient. Then bring me the latest pictures on him. The ones
we saw must be 48 hours old by now. Then call the kitchen and have
them rustle us up some lunch....(Ham and eggs will be all right.)
Steak would be even better. And then give me at least ONE nurse
who knows how to work in close without getting her TITS in my way!") |
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Patton (1970)
Opening "Address" to the Troops
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Gen. George
S. Patton's (George C. Scott) six-minute opening address to the
troops of the US 3rd Army before a giant American flag to off-screen
troops: ("...Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever
won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other
poor dumb bastard die for his country. Men, all this stuff you've
heard about America not wanting to fight - wanting to stay out of
the war, is a lot of horse dung. Americans traditionally love to
fight. All real Americans love the sting of battle. When you were
kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner,
big league ball players, the toughest boxers. Americans love a winner
and will not tolerate a loser. Americans play to win all the time.
I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That's
why Americans have never lost and never will lose a war, because
the very thought of losing is hateful to Americans...") |
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Bananas (1971)
Inappropriate Fundraising "Keynote Speech"
|
In Woody Allen's
irreverent, and slapstick political satire, Fielding Mellish (Woody
Allen), as accidental leader of the tiny (fictional) Central American
island nation of San Marcos, delivered a stuttering, outrageously
inappropriate keynote speech at a high society fundraiser: ("Although
the United States is, uh, a very rich country and San Marcos is
a very poor one, there are a great many things we have to offer
your country in return for aid. For instance, there, uh, there are
locusts. Uh, we have more locusts than...uh, locusts of all races
and creeds. These, these locusts, incidentally, are available at
popular prices. And so, by the way, are most of the women of San
Marcos...despite the tiny size of our nation, few people realize
that we lead the world in hernias. They also fail to realize that
before Columbus discovered your country, he stopped in San Marcos
and contracted a disease which today can be cured with one shot
of penicillin...") |
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Brian's Song (1971)
Locker Room Address
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Gale Sayer's (Billy Dee Williams) haltingly spoken
locker-room address to his fellow players on Brian Piccolo's (James
Caan) cancer, breaking down into uncontrollable sobs that causes
him to prematurely end his speech: ("Uh, you uh, all know
that we hand out a game ball to the outstanding player...Well,
I'd like to change that. We just got word that Brian Piccolo is...that's
he's sick, very sick...And, uh, it looks, uh...like he might never
play football...again, or, uh, a long time...And, I think we should
dedicate ourselves to give our maximum effort to win this game
and give the game ball...to 'Pic'. We can all sign it. And take
it up...Aw, sh....Oh, my God...") |
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| Award Acceptance Speech |
Gale Sayer's
tear-jerking acceptance speech for the George S. Halas Award for
Courage: ("I'd like to say a few words about a guy I know,
a friend of mine. His name is Brian Piccolo, and he has the heart
of a giant and that rare form of courage which allows him to kid
himself and his opponent -- cancer. He has a mental attitude which
makes me proud to have a friend who spells out 'courage,' 24 hours
a day, every day of his life. Now you flatter me by giving me this
award. But I say to you here and now, Brian Piccolo is the man of
courage who should receive the George S. Halas award. It's mine
tonight and Brian Piccolo's tomorrow. I love Brian Piccolo. And
I'd like all of you to love him too. And tonight, (when) you hit
your knees - please ask God to love him.") |
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A Clockwork Orange (1971)
"There was Me, that is Alex" Voice-Over
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Smirking punker
Alex de Large's (Malcolm McDowell) voice-over introductory speech
in the Korova Milk Bar with his droog friends - accompanied by Walter
Carlos' synthesized version of Purcell's Elegy for the Death
of Queen Mary: ("There was me, that
is Alex, and my three droogs, that is Pete, Georgie, and Dim, and
we sat in the Korova Milkbar trying to make up our rassoodocks what
to do with the evening. The Korova milkbar sold milk-plus, milk
plus vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom, which is what we were drinking.
This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old
ultra-violence...") |
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| Thoughts on Aversion Therapy Treatment |
Alex's description
of aversion therapy treatment with 'viddy films' with his eyes propped
open: ("Now all the time I was watching this, I was beginning
to get very aware of like not feeling all that well") |
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Dirty Harry (1971)
Taunting a Downed Criminal
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# 8
Harry Callahan's (Clint Eastwood) taunting of
a wounded black criminal on the ground: ("I know what you're
thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you
the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself.
But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in
the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask
yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya punk? (Harry
picks up the gun) Bank robber: "Hey, I gots to know."
(He pulls the trigger toward the bank robber's head, but it clicks
empty. Harry chuckles)) |
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The Last Picture Show
(1971)
Nostalgia for the Old Times
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Sam the Lion's
(Best Supporting Actor winner Ben Johnson) nostalgic memories at
the tank dam as the clouds shed interesting shadows, about the idyllic
"old times" - when he once went swimming - naked - with
a girl (his one true love): ("You wouldn't believe how this
country's changed. First time I seen it, there wasn't a mesquite
tree on it, or a prickly pear neither") |
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| Opposite Reactions |
Ruth Popper's
(Best Supporting Actress winner Cloris Leachman) explosive tirade
at Sonny (Timothy Bottoms) after months of neglect: ("What
am I doing apologizin' to you? Why am I always apologizin' to you,
ya little bastard?...") - and ending with her forgiveness for
him: ("Never you mind, honey, never you mind") |
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Pink Flamingos (1972)
"Filth is My Politics" Speech
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Grotesque, self-proclaimed filthiest person alive Babs Johnson's (drag queen Divine) astonishing and stunning "filth politics" speech to TV reporters: ( "Blood does more than turn me on, Mr. Vader. It makes me come. And more than the sight of it, I love the taste of it. The taste of hot, freshly killed blood...Kill everyone now! Condone first degree murder! Advocate cannibalism! Eat s--t! Filth is my politics! Filth is my life!") before executing Raymond (David Lochary) and Connie (Mink Stole) Marble in front of the press |
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BEST FILM SPEECHES AND MONOLOGUES